classic lines


> 2003 “I wanted to think like the river even though a river doesn’t think.”


—Hugh MacLennan, “The Well-Read Alchemist,” Spring “I coined the term ‘nut-slap’ and added


it to the list of reasons not to boof.” —Keith Morrison, “Young Men and Gravity,” Summer


> 2004 “It’s not a swim if you’re in the eddy


when you pull.” —John O’Leary, “Riverboat Insider,” Spring


“Only having a single scout from an airplane isn’t usually the best plan of action for dropping into an unknown steep waterway, but we were here for the adventure.”


—David Norell, “North Stein Steep and Cheap,” Spring


“Like every aging athlete, I had to make the choice; get back in the saddle or


take up my stool at the bar.” —Scott MacGregor, Off the Tongue, Early Summer


“I don’t spend a lot of energy on playboating, it’s for people who don’t


have creeks.” —Corey Boux, Paddler Profile, Early Summer


“barb n. 1 a spur found on the point of most fishhooks. 2 a waitress at the Wilno Tavern. bonehead n. 1 a species of tuna. 2 a paddler who shows up without his helmet. roe n. 1 fish eggs. v. 2 what your family thinks


you do on weekends.” —Scott MacGregor, “Lure of Kayak Fishing,” Fall


> 2005 “Like politics, whitewater’s deepest truths are found on the eddylines,


between fact and fiction.” —Scott MacGregor, Off the Tongue, Early Summer


“An environmental ethic is not about right and wrong. It is about making people proud of who they are and proud of their home. It is as true in America as it is in China, and it was as


true in Buddha’s time as it is today.” —Jeff Jackson, “Winds of Change,” Fall


“In kayaking the tendency is to fall off ever-bigger drops. There isn’t a lot of room for technical improvement in that.”


—Jacques Chasse, Esquif Canoes, “Sweeping the Nation,” Summer


34


One of the Founding Fathers of the United States Constitution, Alexan- der Hamilton wrote, “The voice of the people has been said to be the voice of God; and, however generally this maxim has been quoted and believed, it is not true to fact. The people are turbulent and changing, they seldom judge or determine right.” Yah right! Maybe if Hamilton had been reading our letters to the editor, he’d have changed his mind.


I’ve just read your first free issue of Rapid and I like what I see, I crave more. I just bought a Wave Sport X and plan to paddle it as much as pos- sible. Oh, by the way, the price including taxes was $1,723.85. Ouch! Steve Ulicska, Ottawa, Ontario, Summer 1999


We are really disturbed about some of the adver- tisements in the February issue of Rapid. We feel that you have exhibited extremely poor judgment in your choice of ads. You would think that this sport would be a safe environment from tits and ass ads and similar types of bullshit.


Angela Burns and Christine Persault, Toronto, Ontario, Early Summer 2000


We wouldn’t mind the sexual female ads so much if you incorporated some more ads with male kayak- ers depicted the same way!


Melissa Alvares & Ingrid Protacio, Toronto, Ontario, Summer 2000


Rodeos should be held mid-week because the con- testants don’t have real jobs. We are the people who pay retail for our boats and we don’t do it so we can drive 5-10 hours to paddle flatwater and watch someone else have all the fun. We would rather be trying moves ourselves than watching you dudes crank off endless cartwheels. Kayaking is not a spectator sport. Kevin Maggs, Fergus, Ontario, Spring 2000


I was reading your women’s section and noticed the advice that women should mention to the salesmen that they have boobs. I guess this has never been something that I have had to do, as mine are rather obvious. In any case, I was wondering if the author found a jacket that didn’t make her boobs squish out the side like uncooked cookie dough. Jen Grant, Vancouver, British Columbia, Fall 2001


Okay folks, I clicked the button on Boatertalk.com that says “Read back issues for free.” Te problem is I regard a promise as a promise. If you don’t want to give free peeks, don’t advertise them. Screw you, you lying varmints. Let me know when you are on the river so I can punch a hole in your boats and


shatter your paddles. Steve, Texas, Summer 2005


You are a FRAUD and If I don’t see my refund on my credit card this week I will place a Low Suit (bad news for you I am a Lawyer). Of course I do not like to be taken as a foul and this will be personal. Miguel Lerdo De Tejada, Mexico City, Fall 2005


I think Scott MacGregor has dubious motives in suggesting that single-bladed paddlers switch to a high brace roll. I suspect he’s trying to send his OC slalom competition to shoulder rehabilitation.


Michael Bain, Toronto, Ontario, Early Summer 2006


It all started about a year ago when the doctors in- formed me that I had a third testicle. Te harsher reality hit me a month later. I needed an operation to remove my extra luggage. Afterward the surgeon ordered me to not go kayaking for at least two months. I felt like my life had come to an end. My girlfriend dumped me and my friends started call- ing me “Sad Sack.” After two months I was back in my boat and hucked myself over a clean eight-foot waterfall. God how it felt good to live again! Ben Turner, Laramie, Wyoming, Summer 2004


I see an incredible potential in your magazines to capture the soul of paddling. What matters to me about paddling is that feeling you get. You know exactly the feeling I mean. Paddling magazines tend to focus on tools, techniques and terrain. Somehow they all miss the soul.


Jeff Calvert, Vancouver, British Columbia, Early Summer 2001


I just read your excellent article on shuttle vehicles. I happen to be looking for a shuttle-specific vehicle myself and have a good line on a 1996 Kenworth T600 big rig. Unfortunately, the truck is down in Tulsa and I haven’t been able to get a good look at it. Maybe you could help me? First, with the 72” Aerocab Aerodyne High Rise Bunk, I was won- dering if my storage box will fit on the roof. Rick Matthews, Mt. Hope, Ontario, Spring 2005


Voice of the People YOUR BEST LETTERS TO RIVER SIGNALS


RAPID


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