NO, REALLY!


■ I recently joined a large energy company that delivers fuel in England and Wales. My colleague was taking an order from a Welsh farmer. He told the customer he always had difficulty with his country’s place names and asked him if he could spell his address. Imagine my workmate’s delight when the Welsh delivery driver rang to tell him that the details given translated as: “You dozy cockney t***.” Karen Fesemeyer, Aston Somerville, Worcestershire


■ A friend was caught speeding and was offered the chance to go on a speed-awareness course instead of getting points on her licence.


On the day of the course, someone else in her family was using her car, so she took a train that arrived at her destination late. She jumped into a taxi and rang the training centre to apologise for missing the start of the course. “Oh, don’t worry,


love,” said the woman on the other end of the


phone. “Just tell the driver to put his foot down.” Paula Henstock Huddersfield, West Yorkshire


W e had a great au pair


for about a year, but then she left and my wife was really upset. “I don’t under-


stand,” she moaned. “We treated her like family.” Our eldest son interrupted: “That’s


why she left.” Adam Barnes, St Asaph, Denbighshire


“You could’ve mentioned a little sooner that the cat stuck in the tree is a leopard, madam”


■ I was selling an anthology of my poetry to raise money for a local charity. An old friend bought one for her husband’s birthday and asked me to write a message on the cover. I tried to remember his name, but my mind went blank. I’d known this woman for years—how


Win £100


for your true, funny stories.


Email excerpts@ readersdigest. co.uk


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26