(phone the police). But when it comes to noisy neighbours, we’re expected to confront the transgressors ourselves. No wonder a third of the three million people affected keep quiet when their neighbours won’t. If you want to take action, try the following script suggested by Garret Keizer, author of The Unwanted Sound of Everything We Want (£15.99). Open with, “You may not be aware of this but...” then counter their arguments as follows, as calmly as you can. “No one else has complained.”
“They don’t feel they’d get anywhere, but I’m sure they’re wrong.” “You just don’t like my music.” “I just don’t like being forced to listen to it.” “I have a right to do what I want in my own home.” “Of course you do. But
your ‘right’ ends at your door.” “It doesn’t last long.” “It ruins my concentration.” “It’s not that loud.” “Let’s ask the environ- mental health department to measure it.”
» Have you found any effective anti-noise tactics? Let us know at readersletters@
readersdigest.co.uk.
...learn a language online HOW TO
PRAISE BE THAT SO MUCH OF THE WORLD SPEAKS ENGLISH. Over 90 per cent of the EU learns it (100 per cent of Dutch and Czechs), which excuses us from grappling with their gendered vocab and nightmare declensions. But it’s only polite to learn a few key phrases in return—and you can do so without classes or listening to a tape. All you need is a computer with Skype, the
...breathe
INHALE THROUGH YOUR NOSE, which filters and warms the air before it reaches your lungs. Then forget everything you learned in yoga or Pilates. “It doesn’t matter if you breathe into your chest and ribs or use your diaphragm and abdomen,” says Professor Stephen Spiro of the British Lung Foundation. “In fact, thinking about it too much can lead to hyperventilation, which makes you feel panicky and faint. Just let it happen.” You’ve been doing it all your life, after all.
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