Mother’s day

seven minutes later, Kathy heard Michelle approaching the living room, the distinct sound of her bare footsteps punctuated by short splashes. Michelle appeared in the doorway, her face flushed, carrying a red plastic bucket half-filled with water. “Here, Mommy,” she said. “You look thirsty.” Kathy stared in disbelief. When, in the

three years of Michelle’s life, has she ever seen me serve water from a bucket? Kathy asked herself. And what did I do or say that made Michelle think I was thirsty? She

wanted to scream at Michelle for the mess she had made; her immediate inclination was to run, grab the mop, and get the water off her wood floors.

Here’s the question: How should a mom react when her child does some- thing childlike?

What Is the Child Trying to Say?

If you’re like me, when there are children nearby—in the grocery store, at church, wherever I am—my attention immediately gravitates toward them. And what I often see is children being harshly corrected: “Stop whining!” or, “Put that back!” or, “I’m going to smack you if you don’t sit down!”

I suspect I’m wired to notice children first because I love them and because of my profession. As a counselor and mentor for inner-city children, I often work with kids who have behavior problems. And a big part of behavior modification is decid- ing which behavior is the child’s problem and which is the parent’s. Frequently I’m asked to work on a behavior issue that is actually being reinforced by something the parent is or is not doing.

The families I work with generally rep- resent extraordinary parenting challenges,

22 EVANGEL • MAY 2010

TRAIN UP A CHILD

M

by Marie Marthe Laguerre

ICHELLE WAS digging in the sand when her mother, Kathy, went inside to answer the phone. A short

involving children who are particularly difficult. But even in the best of family situations, parents or caregivers are often too tired and tapped-out from getting through the day to focus on patience and attentiveness.

But children’s self-esteem is as impor- tant a function of parenting as giving them healthy food or making sure they

go to school. Children thrive on fre- quent praise and recognition. When they receive heartfelt words of affirmation from an adult they respect, their confi- dence grows almost visibly.

On any given day, parents are pre- sented with many opportunities for affirmation—a chance to communicate to their children with a simple word or act, Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33