BITS & PIECES
C E L E B R I T Y F A N T A S Y
WHAT WOULD
DILDO IN HER MOUTH? LOOK LIKE WITH A
Why are we Photoshopping a dildo in EPSN reporter Erin Andrews’s mouth? Maybe it’s because she looks like a blond Cindy Crawford in her prime. Or maybe just because she’s hot. Actually, it’s because we know that secretly videotaping someone is wrong.
DISCLAIMER. Parody: No such picture of Erin Andrews actually exists. Trust us: It doesn’t. Our lawyers want to make that perfectly clear. This compos- ite fantasy picture is altered from the original for our imagination, does not depict reality and is not to be taken seriously for any purpose.
SEND US YOUR SMUT!
ONCE UPON A TIME THIS WOMAN WAS CONSIDERED
YOUNG AND SEXY. DECADES LATER? PROB ABLY NOT SO MUCH. THANKS TO R.M. OF HOMELAND, CALIFORNIA, FOR THIS PHOTO.
NEWSBITES
Sex Study
Researchers in Canada had to drastically revamp a study on male behavior recently. Seems they were looking for men in their 20s to be part of a control group that had never watched porn. After an extensive search, the analysts were forced to narrow their research to the behavior of young males who did watch it. We can guess the study’s conclusion: Dudes really like porn.
SEND YOUR SMUT OF YESTERYEAR TO HUSTLER PORN FROM THE PAST, PO BOX 63970 LONDON SW15 9AY. AND WE’LL PRINT IT IN HUSTLER UK. INCLUDE A SELF-ADDRESSED, STAMPED ENVELOPE IF YOU WANT THE MATERIAL RETURNED.
Cough It Up!
AYER’S CHERRY PECTORAL CLAIMED TO “CURE COLDS, COUGHS AND ALL DISEASES OF THE THROAT AND LUNGS.” AND JUDGING BY THE PHOTO, IT ALSO GOT KIDS REALLY STONED. THAT MAKES SENSE, SINCE THIS REMEDY FROM THE EARLY 1900S WAS LACED WITH MORPHINE.
8 HUSTLER | ISSUE 40
Mascots Need Love Too
We hear that athletes get a ton of groupie pussy thrown their way. Appar ently that doesn’t hold true for team mascots. During an undercover sex sting in Rhode Island, one of the guys who dresses up as Pat the Patriot at New England Patriots foot- ball games was arrested for allegedly soliciting a prostitute via Craigslist. The offense is punishable by a $1,000 fine, possible jail time and the Pats tak- ing it in the ass in the AFC Wild Card Game.
WWW.SEXYBLISS.CO.UK
“In the sex field you can be totally stupid and still make money.” —AL GOLDSTEIN, LEGENDARY PORNOGRAPHER
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