askthetherapist
Following through on goals.
Dear Karen Kaye,
q:
I sometimes think something is wrong with me. I can set out to do something and be so excited,
and then lose interest before the c
hange is complete. This can happen from the smallest thing,
like reading a book, to the largest, like working on a problem that really makes my girlfriend
mad at me. What is going on?!
Thanks, Taylor
a:
Dear Taylor, at the point of forgetting your original purpose. (through professional guidance).
This is a common complaint This is what happens. At this point, whatever 2. Expect to lose or forget your initial motiva-
that I “treat” in my office. Even script your parents have lent to you subcon- tion and build in personal motivators at differ-
though you start off with the best of intentions, sciously will kick in based on how they did or ent phases of your process.
the mind and its’ messages may not be willing did not deal with change. Therefore, creating 3. Keep a journal or notebook to track your
to work with you. Here is how it works. At the lasting change comes from knowing what is on progress with some built-in incentives with
first thought, your brain is excited and stimu- your brain’s script. So, for instance, your mes- each one you complete.
lated by a new idea that makes you feel you re- sage to yourself may be “who are you kidding Taylor, remember the most important con-
ally want to change. Then, as time passes, those - we don’t do lasting change;” or “it’s too hard;” tract or agreement to keep is the one in keeping
same thoughts may start to dissipate and can or “why bother?” your word to yourself. The success of that
feel unimportant. Once you start the “doing” At this point, if you have not already completion will build a foundation to creating
phase and find it is not as easy as you thought, picked up the book to read, or begun the lasting changes as well as self-worth.
the original stimulant is either wavering or change that your girlfriend is requesting, that Many thanks,
gone, and you don’t have enough incentive or spurt of energy is lost or forgotten until another Karen Kaye
stamina to complete it. incentive is sparked. Here are some recommen- If you would like to contact the private prac-
The transformational process that I teach dations I would make to you: tice of Karen L. Kaye, call 954.384.1217 for
will best describe the correction that is needed 1. Find out what is on your brain’s script more information.
March 2010 49
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