Now That You Have Decided to Get
Divorced, Choose the Collaborative Process
T
he notion of breaking up a family does not attract you, but you have by Veronica Panov and Enid Ponn
has to be one of the saddest things come to the conclusion that your
imaginable. When you add to that marriage is irretrievably broken,
the devastating nature of the divorce pro- believe it or not, there is some good news. of an interdisciplinary team, all of whom
cess itself, the result can truly be one of the You no longer have to be a pawn in this have been trained in the collaborative
most traumatic and destructive events of a miserable game of litigation where there process. All issues are resolved through a
person’s life. And unfortunately, in litiga- truly are no winners. You can choose to series of meetings, sometimes as few as
tion, the “event” can take a year or two partake in an alternate process to acquire two or three, which take place around a
to conclude. During this miserable period your divorce - called collaborative divorce conference table. The process is client-
of time, your life is not your own. You are or the collaborative process. driven. The couple makes their own deci-
called upon arbitrarily to attend deposi- The husband and the wife still have sions about their assets and about their
tions, hearings, conferences, mediations, their own respective attorneys, but rather children. No decisions are imposed upon
appointments to prepare for trial, and the than each spouse paying a pit bull lawyer to them by a judge.
trial itself. Time away from work and the spar in court, the couple and the attorneys If assistance is needed to help create
loss of productivity is just one of the costs agree to work together every step of the the Parenting Plan, which is now required
paid by those involved in divorce litiga- way to create a specially customized plan in each divorce, the mental health profes-
tion. for each family. Collaborative attorneys are sional who is a member of the team is
The negative impact on the children specially trained in this process and sign available to help out. She or he helps
is even more tragic and often irreparable. a written Participation Agreement which maintain the focus on what is best for the
e noW w know that it is the conflict result- states that if the case does not settle, they children rather than what we often see in
ing from heightened family discord, not will not litigate the case, but will withdraw litigation, which is using children as legal
the divorce itself, that has the potential to as counsel. Their only focus and motivation bargaining chips.
cause emotional distress. And yet, conflict is to resolve the issues out of court in this There is also advice available to assist
is the very nature of litigation. In addition, non-adversarial, streamlined process which the couple to continue to co-parent in an
these days many couples have little or is based on open and constructive commu- effective way. As we all know, parenting is
no equity in their homes and are already nication, not confrontation. If they cannot a life-long responsibility that does not end
struggling just to make ends meet; now settle the case, they are out of a job. when the divorce is finalized. A success-
they are facing the prospect of costly, More recently, collaborative divorce ful collaborative case spares children the
lengthy proceedings which will further attorneys and their clients are working in anguish of parents who fight forever.
drain the little savings they may have. conjunction with a financial professional In case you are thinking that when
Assuming the prospect of litigation and a mental health professional as part something sounds too good to be true that
26 Broward County
http://FtL.NaturalAwakeningsMag.com
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