rock
the
boat
Misguided
BLUE ANGELS AND OTHER SIGNS YOUR GUIDE’S GONE OFF THE DEEP END BY VIRGINIA MARSHALL
LAPSES OF JUDGEMENT. We all have them. Even guides. Most of us have encountered the arrogant
guide. Barking orders, muttering insults under his breath and strutting around like a mari- onette pulled by a manic puppeteer. With clipped words and patronizing voice
he badgers the clients, “Tis is how we do it. Not like that, like this. Look at mine—right… yours—wrong.” Tis to a gaggle of surgeons and military personnel, as if holding a paddle correctly is the most life and death challenge they will ever face. As if this morning kayak trip is a grave endeavour on par with perform- ing triple bypass surgery or launching a clan- destine raid into enemy territory. Instead of a relaxing holiday from their
over-worked, over-stressed lives the dumb- struck clients are treated to a militaristic drill of every minutia involved in the great pursuit of sea kayaking. Te tour is nearly over by the time the group dips their first paddle strokes into the placid waters. But can you blame us guides? We have some
of the coolest, most envied jobs on the planet. It’s no surprise that our heads may swell just
a little atop our block-letter-printed “GUIDE” spraydecks. Our judgement about who the cli- ents are, why they’re here and what they want may be off ever so slightly. Certainly we’ve all witnessed the reckless
guide—even the most levelheaded of us may have been one on occasion. Trowing gainers off waterfalls five days into a 14-day wilder- ness trip. Stepping on the gas pedal in a rap- idly ending passing lane while towing a trailer full of boats on the shuttle home. Showing off our très cool to a group of middle-aged clients as if mistaking them for a pack of our Jackass- watching, lewd joke-cracking friends.
Guiding is like being in a state of constant arousal but never letting yourself go all the way.
Temptation. Tat’s what does guides in.
Te temptation of being adventure-seeking individuals plying our livelihoods in a massive natural playground. Te temptation of being able to gratify ourselves whenever we please.
Every day we drink from a potent elixir of wil- derness and passion. It’s hard not to have a few too many now and then. When too many temptations conspire
against us, we may become the worst of all of- fenders—the oblivious guide. Staying out in the waves well past the white-knuckle comfort zone of our clients, waiting for that one last surf. Meeting up with a few other guides on a remote beach and hanging out until 2 a.m. making blue angels around a blazing campfire while our paying customers lie awake (think- ing what, I wonder?) in their nearby tents. Trying to get up the sprayskirt of the cute as- sistant guide as the group waits, cold and hun- gry, for their promised afternoon tea. At its best, guiding is like being in a state of
constant arousal but never letting yourself go all the way. Next time I’m out watching a fel- low guide succumb to temptation and a lapse of judgement, I’ll do the considerate and un- derstanding thing. I’ll go over and tell him (or her) to zip up.
VIRGINIA MARSHALL has worked as a sea kayaking guide in Canada and New Zealand. She has never made blue angels on trip.
adventurekayakmag.com 19
ILLUSTRATAION: LORENZO DEL BIANCO
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48