rock
the
boat
illustrataion:
Misguided
l
oren
Z
o
D
BLUE AngELS AnD OTHEr SignS
el
b
ian
YOUr gUiDE’S gOnE OFF THE DEEp EnD
C
o
by virginia Marshall
LAPSES OF JuDGEMENT. We all have a little atop our block-letter-printed “GuIDE” Every day we drink from a potent elixir of wil-
them. Even guides. spraydecks. Our judgement about who the cli- derness and passion. It’s hard not to have a few
Most of us have encountered the arrogant ents are, why they’re here and what they want too many now and then.
guide. Barking orders, muttering insults under may be off ever so slightly. When too many temptations conspire
his breath and strutting around like a mari- Certainly we’ve all witnessed the reckless against us, we may become the worst of all of-
onette pulled by a manic puppeteer. guide—even the most levelheaded of us may fenders—the oblivious guide. Staying out in
With clipped words and patronizing voice have been one on occasion. Throwing gainers the waves well past the white-knuckle comfort
he badgers the clients, “This is how we do it. off waterfalls five days into a 14-day wilder- zone of our clients, waiting for that one last
Not like that, like this. Look at mine—right… ness trip. Stepping on the gas pedal in a rap- surf. Meeting up with a few other guides on
yours—wrong.” This to a gaggle of surgeons idly ending passing lane while towing a trailer a remote beach and hanging out until 2 a.m.
and military personnel, as if holding a paddle full of boats on the shuttle home. Showing off making blue angels around a blazing campfire
correctly is the most life and death challenge our très cool to a group of middle-aged clients while our paying customers lie awake (think-
they will ever face. As if this morning kayak as if mistaking them for a pack of our Jackass- ing what, I wonder?) in their nearby tents.
trip is a grave endeavour on par with perform- watching, lewd joke-cracking friends. Trying to get up the sprayskirt of the cute as-
ing triple bypass surgery or launching a clan- sistant guide as the group waits, cold and hun-
destine raid into enemy territory.
guiding is like being in a
gry, for their promised afternoon tea.
Instead of a relaxing holiday from their
over-worked, over-stressed lives the dumb-
state of constant arousal
At its best, guiding is like being in a state of
constant arousal but never letting yourself go
struck clients are treated to a militaristic drill but never letting yourself all the way. Next time I’m out watching a fel-
of every minutia involved in the great pursuit
go all the way.
low guide succumb to temptation and a lapse
of sea kayaking. The tour is nearly over by the of judgement, I’ll do the considerate and un-
time the group dips their first paddle strokes Temptation. That’s what does guides in. derstanding thing. I’ll go over and tell him (or
into the placid waters. The temptation of being adventure-seeking her) to zip up.
But can you blame us guides? We have some individuals plying our livelihoods in a massive
VirginiA MArSHALL has worked as a sea kayaking
of the coolest, most envied jobs on the planet. natural playground. The temptation of being
guide in Canada and new Zealand. She has never
It’s no surprise that our heads may swell just able to gratify ourselves whenever we please.
made blue angels on trip.
adventurekayakmag.com 19
Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35  |  Page 36  |  Page 37  |  Page 38  |  Page 39  |  Page 40  |  Page 41  |  Page 42  |  Page 43  |  Page 44  |  Page 45  |  Page 46  |  Page 47  |  Page 48