It is no secret that marriage is hard.
Keeping the fire alive and staying true to your spouse is dif-
ficult. We are bombarded with television shows where affairs
are glamorized. There are even books that have been written
about how to successfully have an affair. Infidelity is on the
rise and the statistics are shocking. “Studies show that 57 per-
cent of husbands and 54 percent of wives have had extramari-
tal affairs,” This statistic can leave one with a daunting feeling
about the possibility of their spouse having an affair, but there
are ways to prevent infidelity in your marriage.
AFFAIR-proofing
Your Marriage
By Angie Hamp
Your Marriage Must Be Priority
Don’t Let Resentment Build
The responsibility to prioritize marriage lies with both spous-
Every couple runs into the roadblocks in their communication. Let’s be honest. There are times when our spouse
es. You both must be intentional about spending time together.
simply does not meet our needs. We can feel wounded, uncared for and unappreciated. This is a normal part of
Remembering your commitment to each other and how im-
marriage; however it can become dangerous if not dealt with. When feelings such as these arise in marriage (and
portant you are to one another should be at the forefront.
they will), it is crucial to discuss them openly with your spouse. If left buried, feelings of resentment will stay
Each day, tell your spouse how important they are to you.
alive and will fester and grow. This can be the point at which a wounded spouse will look outside of the marriage
Make your relationship number one.
for their needs to be met. Let feelings of resentment serve as a warning sign instead of a license to cheat.
Avoid Temptation
One recent study showed that 73 percent of men and
42 percent of women who have extramarital affairs meet
Let Your Love Life Sizzle
their partners at work. It is important to use common sense.
The early days of marriage bring a euphoric feeling in the bedroom, but for most marriages, boredom and famil-
Don’t go to lunch or have a coffee break with the same person
iarity creep in. The vast majority of couples we talk to cite their love life as one of the major areas in the mar-
all the time. Make sure to meet in a public place, or meet in
riage where there is conflict and dissatisfaction. The temptation can be to dump your partner and look elsewhere
groups if possible.
for excitement; however most people who have an affair say that the sexual part of the relationship was very
disappointing. If your love life has fizzled, talk openly about the reasons. This topic in marriage can be highly
Be careful of physical contact and keep talk of your personal
emotional for both spouses, so approach it carefully. Avoid pointing a finger. Instead, use “I” statements and
life and feelings down to a minimum. Establishing intimacy
respectfully listen to your partner. Seek to revitalize this area of your marriage and you will greatly decrease the
with other people outside of the marriage is the perfect stage
chances of one partner having an affair.
for an affair, so reserve intimacy for your marriage.
Author: Angie Hamp owns Revolution Counseling and is a marriage and family counselor in Parker, Colorado.
You can contact her at: (720) 290-9992 or at
www.revolutioncounseling.com
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www.coloradohomeownermag.com www.coloradohomeownermag.com
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