The
Sanctity of
Marriage
GREAT
by VICTOR M. PARACHIN
EXPECTATIONS
REMAINING HAPPY AS A COUPLE AFTER THE WEDDING
When I got married after six years of being single, the hardest
Mayer would know I was never available on Wednesdays, and I
adjustment I had to make was that I suddenly had far less time to
would know when I could plan my get-togethers with friends.”
spend with my women friends. Before I met Mayer, most of my life
Their arrangement worked well for Page, her husband, and even
happened out in the community, not in my apartment. I was always
her friends. “The Wednesday-night plan has lasted for 12 years
out and about, usually meeting friends for one thing or another—often
as I write, and continues to work beautifully,” she adds.
a different friend each night of the week. Suddenly after we married,
Like Page and her husband, many couples are surprised and
most of my life began happening at home. Mayer just assumed I
caught off guard by the subtle changes that take place in their
would be home most evenings. Of course, I wanted to spend time with
lives after they are married. If those changes are not carefully
him too, but I wasn’t willing to simply abandon my friends! They
managed, the great expectations couples have for married life
were putting pressure on me too, pulling at me from the other direc-
together can be quickly dashed and the void filled by disillusion-
tion, asking, “Susan, when can I see you?”
ment and frustration. Fortunately, Page and her husband were
able to maneuver their way through a delicate issue and move
T
HOSE CONFLICTING FEELINGS which emerged
on to a satisfying solution. Here are other ways of making the
shortly after the wedding are reported by minister
transition from “me” to “we” and remaining happy as a couple
and author Susan Page in her book The 8 Essential
after the wedding.
Traits of Couples Who Thrive. Seeking to balance their
• Say good-bye to the single life. That blunt advice is given by
own needs along with the needs of the relationship, Page and
H. Norman Wright, a licensed marriage therapist. “Realize that
her husband experimented with several possible solutions. None
you can’t bring your single lifestyle into your marriage. Some see
was satisfying until they agreed to a Wednesday-night plan.
marriage as just another addition to their already busy lifestyle.
“Wednesday night would be my night for myself—every week.
They think they’ll just tack it on. It doesn’t work that way. Some
22 EVANGEL • FEB 2009
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