jacktheriepe
didn’t just leave. He evaporated. We kept in touch the way friends do
Go ahead... take the long way...
when they mean to keep in touch much better. Riepe is a man who believes in the letter of the law and the law of nature, his nature anyway. That law stated that blonds like this one determine the tides, the sea- sons, and the meter of poetry. The blond reconstituted and rejuvenated him. She seized his soul, all three ounces of it, and on a fateful night announced they were get- ting motorcycles. She got a parade-float of a cruiser, perfect for Elvis impersonators. He bought a BMW, the unholy result of giraffe mating with a hyena. Riepe acquired a 1986 K 75 (Blue Balls)
... We’ve got your Backside!
COMPLETE SEATS Low/Mid/Touring/High Profiles
650/700/800/1200 GS & ADV Models NEW BMW
in 2005 and another 1995 K 75 (Fire Balls) in 2007. That was the year I got Connie, a 1993 K 75 in deep blue. We were the start of the Secret K Bike Riders’ Club; we just didn’t know it at the time. Riepe had uncontrollable urge to ride through the Adirondacks in 2009, and we planned to do the first “all K-bike blitz” through the mountains. It was a small blitz, as it was just the two of us. Roads in the Adirondacks follow rivers
and lakes. They run through deep forests and occasionally drape mountain tops. They hug gorges and flirt with ravines. They are the kind of roads that riders seek to cleanse their souls and to dance to the Song of the Sausage Creature. At certain times during the year, you have the place to yourself. This was not one of those times, but the weekend before Labor Day. Riepe was determined to ride his K 75 to the top of Whiteface Mountain. This would not be a day for the record
books. Many people have ridden their bikes to the top of Whiteface Mountain. You don’t even need a compass. You pay the $15 toll at the bottom and wind your way upward via a paved road through twisties and hairpins on the edge of near vertical slides, until you reach the restau- rant at the top. It lacks the raw danger of Pike’s Peak and the drama of Mount Wash- ington. But it has its moments. I urged Riepe to exercise caution so
www.seatconcepts.com (951) 487-0195 94 BMW OWNERS NEWS December 2016
uncommon to his nature. I advised him that the road was in its original 1936 pave- ment (at the time) and that frost heaves had riddled the surface. He gave me that kindly smile he reserves for grandmothers who think they recognize him and took off like Secretariat coming out of the chute. It’s a straight shot in the beginning, and I could hear his K 75 whining like a newlywed. Not far behind him, I watched as the bike hit the first frost heave. It was like the speed bump from hell, and in the shade of the trees, Riepe never saw it. I bet he was doing 70 miles per hour. The
bike leapt about three feet in the air and came down straight. He didn’t drop it. When I caught up to him, the machine was pulled over at the first level area, and Riepe was slumped over the tank. He was gasping for air, and his eyes were moving around on stalks. He’d bounced out of the saddle, but had managed to hang on and landed on the gas tank. Fortunately, the shock of slamming back down on the motorcycle was absorbed by his testicles. Riepe would later claim that previous divorce proceed- ings had conditioned him for eventualities like this. The rest of the ride was uneventful. And
you know, Jack was a lot quieter than I remembered. At least for a day.
Nothing says “Merry Christmas” to yourself like a “Secret K Bike Riders’ Club” tee shirt. Or do you have a shy, reticent “K” bike rider in your life who could use a little identity boost? This distinctive Secret K Bike Riders’ Club tee will let the world know where you stand. It is not bullet-proof. It is not perme- ated with Viagra. It will not render you invisible. It will not make you better-looking. But you may feel like all of those things when wearing it. And it really steams the once- smug “R” bike crowd. $20 plus shipping and handling. Email your name, address, phone number and shirt size to jack.riepe@gmail. com. Shirt mails with invoice. K bikers trust everybody.
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