Views & Opinion Children and angry feelings Comment by Dr ASHA PATEL, CEO of education not-for-profit Innovating Minds
'She was gazing into space and didn't answer when I asked her a question. Someone sniggered and next thing she was on her feet, shouting, swearing and kicking her chair over.' Faced with an
eruption from an angry student in your class, you will feel many emotions. The first may be surprised, and perhaps bewilderment, especially if the eruption seems to have come out of nowhere. You might have doubts about your ability to deal with the situation and worry about your professional competence that you did not see if coming. You might be frightened too because the angry feeling can
look and feel scary. Anger is a hot, fiery feeling. It can look big, loud and take up a lot of space. Children with angry feelings may react with physical aggression or they might even withdraw and isolate. You might also feel righteous anger and scared. After all, your
brain and body will be responding to the information you have been exposed to. Your heart might beat faster, you might start to shake; some will struggle to maintain concentration and find it difficult to get their words out. We can so easily picture the feelings and the surge of adrenaline we feel under these circumstances, but we rarely step back and unpick the experience for the children who is feeling angry.
What is anger? The cause is rarely just one thing. Often the stress has been cumulative and has piled more on more pressure onto a child and the thing that has made them ‘snap’ can seem trivial or absurd. Many teachers will have seen fights erupt because, 'She gave me a look' or 'He was talking about me.' All too often the child will just shrug. The teacher may interpret this as the child being angry. However, anger may also be accompanied by frustration, shame, guilt, and sadness. Anger is an emotion that does not like to be alone. Trauma expert Jane Evans recently ran a webinar on the angry
child for Innovating Minds. She pointed out that even when children look physically big, their nervous systems are still largely underdeveloped. They still get overwhelmed, and this may link back to what they've lived through, particularly in their early
20
www.education-today.co.uk
months and years. 'Babies' systems quickly learn to go into a state of fear and this
can stay with them.' said Jane. 'This big fight- flight -freeze mode began when they were tiny, so they are primed to pick up on the first signs of threat.' They are super vigilant all the time which is tiring and stressful in itself and certain sounds, sights and smells can trigger moments from their long-term memory that push them over the edge. While it is important to address the behaviour, we need to be
careful how we support the child. Some teachers avoid communicating with them as they are reluctant to make eye contact or call on them in class because they are wary of what they may provoke. The child develops a reputation for being difficult or the ‘angry child’ and this sets up a cycle of problems. Anger is a perfectly natural emotion that we all feel. But you may hear adults say things such as, 'You need anger management intervention,' 'You have anger issues.' According to Jane Evans, we need to avoid the phrase 'the
angry child'. It is not only a simplification but it also has connotations of a young person who is dangerous and out of control. 'This is labelling and is unhelpful. It pigeonholes them,' she says. 'It is not only a way of being seen by other people. But also, it will very much become the way in which they perceive themselves.'
Finding their way back A child who is feeling intense feelings of angry will have been overwhelmed by their feelings and may well feel drained. They can also feel scared and very unsafe. This is not a fear of consequences and sanctions but a reaction to the tsunami of emotions they have just experienced in their body. They may also have some sense of shame at being in the
spotlight and feel lonely and isolated. Often this is more obvious in primary schools where they may find themselves on the outskirts of groups. They want to play with other children but they are outside the tribe; they are not in tune with the others and don't interact with them in a healthy helpful way. They may start off playing, but they are quickly the one that ends up shouting, pushing and shoving, who appears to be angry and then the disconnect happens. Children need to feel connected to somebody. They need
someone who checks up on them, rather than moving into punitive mode. 'When a child has had an angry outburst, it doesn't matter whether they're six or 16, they are definitely not OK. They need calmness, kindness, safety and connexion,' said Jane Evans. 'What matters to young people is that someone sees them, that no matter what they do, how they behave or the choices that they make, they still matter to someone.' The Healing Together facilitators programme ‘Supporting
Children with Angry Feelings’ enables children to learn about their brain and body responds to feelings of anger. To become a trained facilitator, find out more at:
www.healing-together.co.uk. Jane Evans' webinar Supporting young children who present as
angry can be downloaded at
https://www.myedupod.com/webinar
February 2022
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48
