Did you try to hide your stutter, or did you stutter openly? How did others react?


I’ve never been one to hide my stutter; at the same time, I’ve never openly disclosed it either. I go about my duties and if I stutter, then I stutter. Marines make of it what they will. I will say that all the Marines I’ve worked with have been very professional. If one of them has a negative opinion about my stutter, they’ve kept it to themselves. To a Marine, what’s important is mission accomplishment and troop welfare. I would add to that personal performance. Outstanding performance covers a multitude of sins. Over the years, I’ve made it a point to perform to the best of my ability such that any negativity surrounding my stutter is downplayed.


How did your stutter make it difficult for you to serve?


Like with any situation in life, not being able to communicate as clearly as you’d like takes its toll. In my head, I know what I want to say, but my body doesn’t always cooperate. My stutter is much harder to manage when I’m facing periods of stress, fear, physical exhaustion, or frustration. As you can imagine, all those factors are present at one point or another, sometimes together. Whether the situation is briefi ng an operation to senior offi cials, conducting a combat operation during deployment, or participating in a working group, the stressors are real and present. I can remember one such experience during my fi rst combat deployment. I was commanding a convoy in the Al-Anbar province of Iraq. During the convoy, we came under intense enemy fi re. As the Marine offi cer in charge, command and control was my responsibility. I had to organize our defenses and our response, use the radio to communicate with my higher headquarters, and assess several Marines for medical evacuation. All of that required me to speak constantly on the radio until the situation was resolved. Stuttering at a time like that was less than ideal, but I strove to remain calm and collected as I passed information and orders. After the situation was resolved, we were able to continue the mission with no loss of life.


Another example is from later in my career. I was attending a working group with peers and senior offi cers to develop certain logistical concepts. During a meeting like this, it is customary to go around the room one at a time and introduce yourself. I’m sure you can imagine the stress something like this would cause for a person who stutters. I was near the end of the line with about 30 Marines ahead of me. I watched the “moment” get


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closer and closer. I got into my own head and ended up with a mild panic attack. Finally, it was my turn and I squeaked out my name and role while stuttering heavily. It was incredibly embarrassing. No one said anything, but I can imagine what the others in the room thought. During a situation like this, I’ve found it helpful to quickly get through the embarrassment and then contribute as much to the conversation as possible. This way, the last impression I leave will be one of competence rather than stuttering.


Was your stutter ever helpful?


I can’t think of a time when my stutter was helpful, other than it made me practice public speaking often. As a Marine Corps offi cer, you are expected to speak aloud on any number of occasions. You may be speaking extemporaneously while addressing your troops after a training event, you may be passing information during a unit staff meeting, or you may be onstage presenting a new concept to a large audience. Whatever the situation, you’re expected to be “on.” As a person who stutters, it’s easy for me to get stuck when speaking aloud. I’ve found that extra preparedness signifi cantly increases my ability to speak fl uently.


Did you use any tips or tricks to help you with your stutter?


I don’t have any tricks per se. I would off er that excessive preparation for speaking events pays dividends. I do a lot of public speaking, whether it’s for my Marine Corps career, or being on stage for my book. I rehearse what I’m going to say as often as I can, so when I’m on stage, the material is very familiar to me. The less my mind has to search for what to say, the more fl uent I can be.


As my career has progressed, I stutter less in the day-to-day environment. I believe this is because I’m more experienced and comfortable in my professional environment. When I do stutter, it’s usually during a larger meeting or presentation where I know I’ll have to speak aloud. When those situations occur, I do my best to stay calm through deep breathing exercises. They help to calm my nerves. Additionally, I’ve found that manuscripting, or writing down what I want to say verbatim, does not work well for me. That requires me to read aloud and make it sound natural and fl owing. I tend to stutter my way through it. Instead, I use bullet points with ideas and themes. The bullet points keep me focused and on track while allowing my mind to fi ll in the gaps.


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