event speaking How to transform nerves into confidence


Caroline Goyder teaches a variety of techniques to help people speak with confidence. Here are a few she recommends.


• When rehearsing, before you face an audience, say something three times aloud. Then, if the butterflies come, you have a backup drive in your brain. Voice notes on your phone can be a pain-free way to do this,


and you can graduate to saying it in front of someone you trust on the phone or in person. • Practise taking pauses: every pause is a moment to come back to yourself. • If you gabble, find your brakes. The rush when you walk out in front of an audience can feel so overwhelming that your brain screams ‘get out of there’. The flight part of fight or flight


takes over – and you start speaking at hyperspeed. The secret is to breathe out before you start to speak. Close your mouth, and nose breathe as if a lovely smell is silently hitting your nostrils. That’s when you start. • If you feel yourself blushing,


focus your senses out onto something in the room. When we blush, it’s usually because we’re worrying about what someone else is thinking. So,


take your mind away from it, ask the audience a question and get the focus on them. While they’re talking, lengthen your outbreath to calm your system.


For more speaking tips, s ee Caroline’s new free Gravitas mini-course at https://courses. carolinegoyder.com/ GravitasCourse


Put on your armour Jamie Klingler is chief communications officer for the Tomorrow Group. She explains how she prepared for a recent TEDx talk. Klingler says: “Before a big speech, I put on armour. I get my


hair and make-up done (never ever cut – hair is everything). I wear good underwear. For my TEDx, I wore the dregs of my late mother’s lipstick. It was the very last bits of it, but it gave me the final boost to go out there and kill it. “The more prep you do on the script, the more you are able to add little interjections and enjoy the actual experience. Be present for it.”


Comedy


goldmine Dhruti Shah is an award-winning creative storyteller and journalist who has written for The Guardian and worked for the BBC. She says the


training and live performance of improv made a huge difference to her confidence, making her realise that she was funnier than she thought. “That’s a skill,” she


explains. “So, I can make a joke if I make a mistake, and know that people will understand I’m as human as they are.” Dhruti’s top tips for


combatting nerves? Embrace it. “Volunteer for


She also advises recreating the environment where you’re going to give the talk as much as possible. “If you can’t practise in the actual location, ask the team at the local movie theatre if they would mind you doing to run throughs while the theatre is cleaned,” she says. “Go and stand in a pulpit if need be. But stand up, enunciate. Replicate the energy you plan to give the room - in what you will be wearing. Practise the walk up to the stage. And don’t wear new shoes.”


opportunities,” she says. “And understand that it’s usually only a short space of time in the grand scheme of things – this helps to give perspective.”


Use your stage fright Hari Patience-Davies is a storytelling coach and teacher. She has coached chief executives for keynote speeches and teaches people how to project confidence. She says almost everyone experiences stage fright around public speaking. But the more you do something that gives you anxiety, the less anxiety you will feel – eventually. “I used to be terrified about speaking on stage or at conferences. But I wanted to do it, so I made myself take every opportunity I could to speak, and now my stage fright has been reduced to a shadow of its former self,” she says. “As a storytelling coach, I can’t get rid of your stage fright – I don’t have a magic wand. But a small amount of anxiety ensures that you will work on your speech, and practise and perfect it. If you didn’t care or worry, you’d have less motivation to do the necessary work to excel.” Patience-Davies recommends building a pre-performance


ritual. Her own includes two minutes of power posing, five by five breathing and a couple of ‘you’ statements. “For power posing, you stand, feet hip width apart, chin up, shoulders back, hands on hips – the Wonder Woman stance,” explains Hari. “Standing like that for two minutes reduces your anxiety and improves your performance. “I twin that with five by five breathing – breathe in for the


count of five, hold your breath for the count of five, then breathe out for the count of five. Repeat that for the whole two minutes of your power pose and your heart rate will even out. “End with a few ‘you’ statements – something like ‘you’ve got this’ or ‘you’re going to give a great speech’. It may feel odd to address yourself in the second person, but studies show that complimenting and reassuring ourselves by saying ‘you’ works better than saying ‘I’. Check out the recent clip of Simone Biles at the Olympics taking a moment to say ‘you’ve got this’ before stepping out for another medal- winning performance. “Being able to explain and express yourself creates opportunities for keynote speeches or broadcast work. You might want to pitch a book idea to a publisher or present a TED talk. “Confidence is still mistaken for competence, so being able to talk well is a benefit and bonus in your career.”


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