MOTIVATION Praise Works Best for Your Sales Success MARY LOU DOBBS


Praise can be powerful. Thankfully, it cannot be overused – because everyone likes a pat on the back.


Here are some basic (but often overlooked) examples of praising for success: • Your manager praises specific aspects of your job


• Your boss praises your work attitudes


• You praise your customers’ forth- rightness and flexibility


• You praise your own handling of a demanding and tough prospect (yes, you can praise yourself)


Although you can’t change people, you can change your behavior toward them – and you can change how they affect you. Effective praising may be a good first step in the direction of modifying your responses to the outside world.


PRAISING EFFECTIVELY To use this tool effectively, there are five steps: 1. Observe your positive feelings about the other person.


2. Describe what you like about what the person says, does, is, or has.


3. Express your feelings about the person with verbal as well as non- verbal positive communication.


4. Identify the concrete effect the person’s behavior has on you, the group, or clients.


5. Be quiet and let the person absorb your comments.


Tell your boss that, when you hear,


“You did a good job!” you wonder what you did so well. If your boss would use the five praising steps, you’ll know that you were appreciated for specific actions that got specific results. Then you’ll be able to repeat those actions and begin to build a success chain link by link. Lack of effective praising can become


a self-fulfilling prophecy of low pro- ductivity. Such low productivity in sales creates unwanted stress. Hans Selye, considered the father of stress work- shops, says stress is a non-specific response of the body to any demand made upon it. Stress has gotten bad press. If we didn’t have some stress, we would become bored. However, when stress becomes distress, our bodies and minds respond with a net negative.


MOVING PRAISE TO THE CUSTOMER To carry the praising concept through to customer relationships, let’s exam- ine your expectations of clients. When common expectations are not met, there is internal stress caused from limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are old, habitual, self-defeating state- ments or thoughts that lead to sabo- tage and eventually destroy success. Let’s look at a few common thoughts that create stress. • “If you really liked me, you would buy from me.”


• “Accept my proposals.” • “Do as I say.” • “I’ll never get that raise.” • “Return my calls.” • “Remember my appointment.” • “Help me make the sale.” • “Have the answers I expect.” • “Never do or say anything that hurts or threatens me.”


Although you know that you can’t expect every prospect to buy – and every customer to buy on every call – such limiting thought patterns keep you from praising yourself for what went right on the call, and praising the customer or prospect just for be- ing available at all.


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Simply by changing your internal


response to unexpected or unwanted behavior from prospects and custom- ers, you can regain control of your success momentum. Consider the power of simply ask- ing for what you want – but sandwich your request between appropriate, effective praising. For instance, you might say to a customer, “You’ve always been straight with me, and I want you to know how much I appre- ciate that. It’s always motivating for me to call on you because I learn so much from our contacts.” Now wait for a response. Listen to


the tone your customer uses. Al- though we may subject ourselves to a great deal of frustration because we don’t ask for what we want, we must ask the right way at the right time. If your customer responds positively, ask for what you want. Be reason- able. Ask for a chance to call again, to review his needs, to show him your latest model, to quote on a job. Thank him for the opportunity and then leave. Praise yourself for asking and then move on to your next call. Just because you ask doesn’t mean


you’ll get what you want every time. But even 50% is better than a lost sale or relationship. If you’re able to accept refusal without pouting or feel- ing rejected and unloved, then you’re on the road to less frustration and better relationships with your man- ager and your clients. 


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