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LIVING WELL Donna Burick, BCC


3 Ways to Keep Your Relationship Vibrant


Beyond Love:


“But let there be spaces in your togetherness and


let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but


make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” ~ Khalil Gibran


“We've got this gift of love,


but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it


in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to


keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.” ~ John Lennon


L


ove is not enough to keep a relationship going. There are ups and downs and hurts and joys that wear away at the fabric of long-term relationships. Here are three ways to rekindle that spark and keep your relationship strong and vibrant.


Ask As time goes by we all fall into communication ruts. Our


“Language exerts hidden power, like the moon on the tides.” ~ Rita Mae Brown


conversations feel like the same old thing because they often are the same old thing. We end up not only discussing the same topics like how the kids are doing in school, how our day went, what to do for the holidays, and where to go on vacation, but discussing them in the same way. We unconsciously dig deep communication ruts and then feel trapped by them. One of the best ways to break free from this trap is to ask


questions. This opens up new information, allows new topics to be explored because you are no longer mindlessly going through the motions. There are always things you can discover about the person


you are in relationship with, even if you think you know every- thing there is to know. These questions can range from the serious to the silly; the point of them is to interject some new energy into your conver- sations and reconnect to that sense of fascination you felt when the relationship was new. You can ask questions from the past like, what was your favorite book as a child, or what did you want to be when grew


up and why? You can ask relationship questions like, in what ways do you


think we operate best as a team and how do you think we can improve? Or you can even ask silly questions like, the would you


rather game – you know would you rather have all the light be green or never stand in line again? Would you rather be the fi rst person to explore a new planet or invent a drug that cures a major disease? Would you rather not be able to eat your favorite food the rest of your life or only eat your favorite food the rest of your life? You get the idea – these are just funny questions to spark conversation. You can Google them for cute ideas.


Anchor


"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." ~ Mignon McLaughlin


One of the things that tends to fall away with time is a sense of connection. These moments anchor our relationships and without them we feel adrift and alone. It’s important to physically and emotionally reconnect with


your partner.


• Hold hands as you walk down the street or have dinner. • Stroke their face and smile at them. • Look them in the eyes when you speak to them. • Give each other foot rubs at night.


FEBRUARY 2021 13


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