In my experience it takes a good three
years for someone to process the loss of a loved one. Kubler Ross’ five stages of grief are simply a model of what people may go through. Everyone’s grief is a personal journey. It is not linear and completed on a straight timeline. Each season brings its own challenges and raw memories, especially in the first year following the loss. Each holiday, anniversary, birthday, family gathering, or normally shared event must be lived through without the loved one. These are all reminders of the depth of how things have forever changed. The second year is still raw, but there has been the experience of having lived through the experiences without the loved one and we did not die. The third year becomes more manageable. Remember that grief can be triggered at any moment by very ordinary circumstances and events. Grief is a re- sponse to loss, a trauma. Life is never quite the same again.
The key to surviving and healing in this time of COVID-19 is human con- nectedness. Physical human touch is not a viable option at this time. What is currently available is reaching out emo- tionally with our hearts, thoughts and genuine caring. We can act supportively expressing our love and acting on that love by acknowledging the painfulness of the situation with reassurances that we will do what we can to remember and honor the deceased and those left to grieve and mourn. There is a quote by Patricia Campbell Carlson, which I find especially helpful: “Grief and Gratitude are kindred souls, each pointing to the beauty of what is transient and given to us by Grace.”
James W. Osborne, MS, LPC, BCPC is one of Natural Nutmeg’s 10 Best Winners for Holistic Psychotherapy/ LCSW/Counseling. He is a Licensed Professional Coun-
selor, Board Certified Professional Coun- selor, Board Certified PTSD Clinician with over 40 years of clinical experience. He employs Mindfulness, Jungian Psychol- ogy, Gestalt Psychology, ACT, EMDR and value-based techniques unique to the indi- vidual to support positive health changes. His undergraduate degree is in Philosophy and he views psychotherapy as philosophy in action. See ad on page 51.
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