COVID-19: Betrayal and the Butterfl ies of Spring


By Pat Heavren, MHSA


seemingly overnight, anything we think is disconnected is quick- ly negated. Suddenly, we fi nd ourselves having a direct experi- ence of the famous adage that goes something like, “The fl ap of a butterfl y’s wings in our garden affects the winds in Beijing.”


A It seems an absurd thought, too infi nitesimal to ever make


any reasonable sense. Yet now we’re living smack in the middle of its truth. Only this time, the adage is working in reverse. In some far eastern Chinese city, the “fl ap” of a mutant virus has affected the entire globe and wreaked havoc with the familiar garden of our experience. While some of us may avoid exposure or dodge illness, many more have been affl icted by some form of economic fallout, the scope of which is heightened by the exist- ing degrees of privilege or poverty we’ve lived with until now.


Even more widespread ripples of connection and winds


of change unleashed by that Asian butterfl y have come in the form of a plague of fear and a disruption of normalcy. Business as usual is interrupted and we’re left squirming with inconvenience, coming face to face with our blind attachments to predictability and false certainty that have kept us deeply asleep to ourselves and one another.


virus, treachery, and insects with brightly colored wings— a highly unlikely threesome. When a pandemic escapes from Pandora’s box and changes the face of our world


the seismic magnitude of impacts measured by how long and how deep we’ve buried things we don’t want to look at.


I am a nature-based life coach and educator committed to supporting others as they move as gracefully as possible within the winds of unexpected change and uncertainty. It’s clear to me that COVID-19 is the opportunity to explore this butterfl y effect in the midst of a high-wire threat. Every bit of sharp attention is required to stay awake and not miss the navigational cues em- bedded in such challenging circumstances.


Carrie, a co-adventurer and client, recently phoned me from


It is both a collective and deeply personal opportunity.


It doesn’t matter if we fi nd ourselves in Wuhan, Paris, or New


York City, or on a cruise ship en route to Antarctica. Everyone is involved. We’re in this together, as the empty storefront signs and billboards along the now uncongested highways suggest.


The more we’ve built our lives on the fault lines of a


fractured world, the more we’re being jogged awake to discover everything is connected to everything else, no matter how subtle the affi nity. The fl ap of the butterfl y’s wings going viral this winter unleashed a swarm of personal earthquakes this spring,


26 Natural Nutmeg - May/June 2020


sequestration in northern New England with a desire to embark on the next phase of her healing journey. Two years earlier, a Lyme Disease diagnosis shattered her world. COVID-19 added to the mix, an exposure threatened her already-compromised immune system. She couldn’t see a future. While recounting the story that toppled her health, career, and a relationship, Carrie used the word “betrayal” at least three times. “This betrayal has fallen over my vision like a visor blocking the light of the sun,” she said. Carrie recognized it as having been with her forever, but was usu- ally absent from her day-to-day awareness.


Our stories always contain the remedies


for our challenges, if we’re awake enough to hear them. And I heard this clearly.


Betray All. Betray All. Betray All. What if betrayal isn’t the end of all life ahead? What if


betrayal is the navigational directive itself? Maybe the very thing that literally plagued Carrie (and plagues us all) is actually the roadmap to our redemption. Like buds on a branch, each dif- ferent from the others, spring is a time when betray all colors in and illuminates the bleak world of winter as it moves from dark uniformity to robust distinction.


In adolescence, betray all helps us plug our ears to what we’ve been told by our parents and other “authorities,” so we


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