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by cutter slagle Forgive and Forget? We’re generally taught at a young age that no one is perfect. Simply
put, people make mistakes. Yet, at what point does a mistake warrant ending a relationship? Does it depend on the nature of the mistake? While it’s true that no one is perfect and mistakes happen, we’re also informed early on the difference between right and wrong. Therefore, in a sense, shouldn’t we “know better” than to make these errors or to willingly wrong someone? Living in a society where both compassion and loyalty seem to be at
an all-time low, where many of us are so fearful of getting burned that we cut individuals out of our lives without even the slightest interest in reconciliation, I can’t help but wonder: Is it truly possibly to forgive and forget? Or, is it safer—smarter, even—to forgive, but not forget? And in that case, can you forgive someone without forgetting their previous actions? It’s fair to say that everyone has experienced pain at the hand’s of another person. Whether you’ve been cheated on, lied to or stolen from, it’s plausible that you’ve been hurt by a situation that could have and should have been prevented. But what’s the best response for dealing with said situation? Revenge? The old “eye for an eye, tooth for a fucking tooth” motto? Not likely. Remember, Confucius once famously—and truthfully—stated: “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” What’s a bitch to do, though? Sit back, stay passive? Allow a person
(more often than not, a loved one, because, ironically enough, the ones closest to us tend to hurt us the most) entire access to stomp on our heart and feelings? Also not likely. Because, quite frankly, you can only eat so much shit before you become full. Maybe the idea of “forgive and forget” depends on the circumstanc-
es, and those specific people involved. Perhaps there are some actions that just aren’t forgettable. However, over time—in some cases, a lot of time—these actions are forgivable. They have to be, right? After a while, if you don’t forgive, you eventually get weighed down with what is essentially a grudge. This grudge will age you, turn you bitter. And the other person, the one you resent, probably won’t even notice or care. Do you really want to be a resident of your own misery? Where’s the benefit in that? Here’s the thing: Like most aspects of life, forgiving and forgetting
or forgiving but not forgetting—whichever pertains to you—is, sometimes, easier said than done. It takes a myriad of factors to forgive someone: patience, strength, understanding. But, above all, it takes a wise person to forgive. A wise person learns to let go and move on. Why? Because it’s the only solution that’s healthy. More so, it’s the only solution that makes any sense. Remember, some people are just awful—that simple, that
complex—and no matter what you say, do, think or feel will change that reality. People don’t change. Therefore, why waste time or energy hating them? Or even thinking about them? Let’s not forget about our good friend karma, and the fact that she’s a bad-ass bitch. Sure, she’s about as slow as a one-legged turtle, but she’s fierce. Better yet, she arrives when least expected. Let her battle your past while you stay focused on your future. In the end, all we can do is our best: our best to love, our best to be honest, our best to do the right thing, even our best to forgive. Of course, this strive to “do our best” should not overshadow the actuality that being a good person is really not that difficult of a challenge. So, for some of you, try harder.
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RAGE monthly | AUGUST 2018
| AUGUST 2018
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