“We offer one-on-one empow-


erment counseling (for 10 to 20 weeks),” said project director Vashti Bledsoe. “We believe our clients know what is best for them, so we provide lots of options and build on [their] strengths. Whatever their goal is, we’ll help them achieve that.” Bledsoe said leaders use such


“back-door approaches” as art alongside counseling, support groups, housing assistance, accom- paniment to court dates and more. Te support groups include


12-week trauma healing sessions at its Jane Addams Place homeless shelter and drop-in groups. Additionally the project offers


10-week parenting-aſter-domestic- violence groups. It’s hard to parent aſter your children have seen you abused, Bledsoe explained. “Children can sometimes pick


up on the behavior of the abusive partner and treat you like you’re nothing,” she said. “So we talk about the impact of the violence on our clients and on their child’s develop- ment. [We] listen to moms, and we teach them listening skills so they can listen to their children who have lived through this abuse.” Slowly, survivors regain their confidence as parents, she said. Lutheran Settlement House


also helps people find transitional housing at one of its sites or at others. Aſter participants leave this housing, they can continue seeing a case manager twice a week for a year. “Many are estranged from their families for safety reasons, but they still need someone to talk to,” Bledsoe said.


Incarcerated too For inmates who have experi- enced domestic violence, Lutheran Settlement House offers a 12-week “healing through art” group at the


Riverside Correctional Institute for Women in Philadelphia. “[Many of these women] are in


prison because of something their abusive partner did,” Bledsoe said. “We have them do vision boards to help them with where they see themselves going when they leave this facility. We talk about the impact of domestic violence on children and how to remain a pres- ence in their children’s lives even though they’re not in the home right now. And we talk about the impor- tance of letting [their] children ask questions about what’s happened, without becoming angry.” For example, women mail “con-


versation coupons” to their children. “Nothing said has been your fault,” reads one. “We can talk and you can ask me questions at any time.” Not content to simply be reac-


tive, project leaders also go into area middle- and high-schools to combat teen dating violence. And they visit churches to address misapplications of Scripture. “Bible passages about submis-


sion do not mean you have to allow your partner to physically or emo- tionally abuse you,” Bledsoe said. “We have too many clients who stayed another five years because their pastor told them to fast, pray or be a better wife. “Love shouldn’t hurt. It can be difficult. But it shouldn’t hurt.” 


Author bio: Hunter is a section editor of The Lutheran.


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February 2014 29


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