By Diana Dworin
Pass the faith not view, make or buy pornography.” When parents talk to children about Internet pornogra-
Explicit content T
Faith frames conversations about pornography
he Internet is a powerful source of information for families. With a few keywords and a mouse click, parents and kids can find articles, pictures, videos and more about virtually any topic. These searches can also yield more than moms and dads might expect. Seemingly innocuous searches can pull up explicit images that aren’t intended for children, and an inadvertent click can lead kids to adult-oriented websites. It’s a situation that is prompting parents to talk about pornography with their children far sooner and much more unexpectedly than many of them would have predicted. While some parents are comfortable with the tra-
ditional “sex talk,” even fewer are prepared to discuss pornography. Parents can find some help in having these conversations by tying their values and faith into the dis- cussion, said Amy Hartman, national director of Cherish our Children (
www.cherishchildren.org), an ELCA- affiliated ministry that seeks to prevent child sexual exploitation.
Parents can help teach their sons and daughters that pornography isn’t consistent with the Christian call to love one another, Hartman said. “On the evening of the Last Supper, Jesus commanded his disciples—and us—to ‘love one another as I have loved you,’ ” she said. “Jesus loved others with compassion, and he did not exploit those who were vulnerable. “We do not know the stories of the people in por-
nography. Were they sexually abused as children? Are they currently being trafficked? Are they taking drugs to be able to get through it? If we do not want to partici- pate in the abuse of another person, we can choose to
phy, it’s helpful to: • Be proactive. For the most part, parents talk to kids about explicit material on the Internet only after their child has viewed it. Instead of waiting for such an incident, parents should engage children in a conversation early on, telling them that the Internet contains material that isn’t meant for kids. Continue and expand the scope of this conversation as children grow and mature. Restricting children to prescreened websites is one method many parents use. Other parents install filters or controls, such as Open DNS (
www.opendns.com), that can restrict Web searches and block entire categories of content, such as adult-oriented websites. • Be vigilant. Check your kids’ history logs of Internet sites and Web searches. If your child has visited inappro- priate sites, find a calm moment for a conversation. While it is natural for them to be interested in sex, explain to your children that pornography doesn’t show healthy examples of loving relationships shaped by our faith. Reassure your children that you want them to feel comfortable about coming to you with questions about the things they’ve seen, and keep the dialogue open.
Tried & true Common Sense Media
Common Sense Media is a go-to resource for par-
ents who want to make better informed choices about the content their children view on screens (www.
commonsensemedia.org). The nonpartisan, not-for- profit group reviews movies, television shows, smart- phone apps, video games, websites and more. The organization rates media content based upon
age-appropriate educational value, violence, profanity, portrayal of sex and other factors. Common Sense Media, a forerunner in research studies about children’s media use, also offers expert advice in navigating a variety of social issues at the intersection of technol- ogy and youth culture, such as cyber-bullying and Internet safety.
Lutheran mom
Dworin, 42, is a mother of three and a former parenting magazine editor. Contact her at diana@
passthefaith.org.
July 2012 41
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DESIGNPICS
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