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STAFFROOM CONFIDENTIAL

A funny thing happened at Christmas time

Last Christmas one of our teaching assistants was sitting with our reception children who were all dressed up in their nativity costumes, waiting to perform at the local church. She asked if they knew what a shepherd’s job was. One little boy answered: “Someone that makes pies”!
Melanie, Surrey

At last year’s Christmas concert, when asked by the vicar which bit of the nativity story he liked the best, a Year 7 boy replied: “The bit when Santa Claus comes down the chimney.”
Richard, Carmarthen

All was going well during the infant nativity until one of my reception boys, ‘sheep number five’, decided he urgently needed the loo. I agreed and off he went. After a good while, and right at the tender moment when Mary shows off her newborn son, I heard his voice bellow across the hall as he demanded of an audience member: “Excuse me Mister, have you seen my flock?”
Kathryn, Cambridgeshire

My reception class were discussing this year’s nativity play and some of the children who had been in our nursery class last year were telling the others what they were in the play last Christmas. As children proudly stated: “I was a camel” or “I was a shepherd”, I spotted another child who had also been in our nursery, so I asked her: “What were you last year?”
She replied: “I was a cornflake.”
I said I didn’t think we had any of those, when it suddenly dawned on me that she meant snowflake.
Carol, Stockport

Scene: An infant nativity play complete with worshipping angels and the holy family. Shepherds and wise men solemnly present their gifts to the baby Jesus. Not a dry eye in the house.
Up pipes Joseph. “When do I get my technicolour dream coat?”
Tears of a different kind…
Jacky, Cambridgeshire


We had just returned from the Christmas break when young Matthew came over to me and said: “There is no such person as Father Christmas”.
“Why do you think that?” I asked.
“Because on Christmas Eve I pretended to be asleep and I saw my father putting the presents next to my bed,” he replied.
Later that morning I was approached by another boy from my class, who told me: “Did you know there is no such person as Father Christmas? He is actually Matthew’s dad!”
Arthur, Kent

Next issue: A funny thing happened during our inspection.
Send us your anecdotes by Friday 11 December.

The things pupils say
I had been explaining to my class of six year olds some of the ways in which life was different when I was a child: no computers, no television, etc, when one boy asked: “Did you have fruit?”
Dorothy, Middlesex


Send your contributions for 'A funny thing happened', 'The things pupils say', 'Teachers' tips' and 'Reader's rant' to The Teacher, NUT, Hamilton House, Mabledon Place, London WC1H 9BD or email them to teacher@nut.org.uk. Deadline for next issue: 11 December. Please include your contact details.