and fi nally And through the exit go the facts


Chris Proctor comes a cropper over EU claims and counterclaims


I


’d cut down an alley to avoid the driving rain when, through the darkness, I saw two wide fi gures step out in front of me, blocking my path. I turned. Another sinister form obstructed any


retreat. This was it. I knew what was coming. The taller of the front two walked slowly towards


me until his face was inches from mine. He lifted a card and held it for me to read. “NUJ,” he said. “Code of practice enforcement.


Come with me.” They faced me over a bare table in a sparse basement in the road of the Gray Inn. The thickset fi gure in the middle drew on a cigarette. After rubbing out his doodle, he lit up. He began quietly enough. “You covered the EU referendum.” I nodded. “So. You know the rules. Article one. You’re obliged


‘to uphold the right of the public to be informed’. Article two. You ‘strive to ensure information disseminated is accurate and fair’. Is that right?” “Yes, well …” “So did you write that leaving the EU would mean


we’d have an extra £350 million a week to spend on hospitals and schools?” “Well, yes. I was reporting …” “And did you subsequently write that leaving the


EU would lead to recession, job losses and wage cuts?” “The thing is …” “And did you write that leaving the EU was going to lead to a fall in house prices?” I looked up indignantly. “No, I did not. I’ve never


worked for the Daily Mail.” They checked their paperwork, exchanged glances and continued. “But the fi rst two, you did?” “Yes, but …” “They contradict each other.” He leant over the


table. “So they can’t both be right, can they? At the very minimum, half of what you wrote was misinforming the public. Half at least was inaccurate and unfair.” “Yes but …” “Articles one and two.”


I was about to plead insanity when he continued.


“Article four. Did you ‘differentiate between fact and opinion’?” “I had a go. But I could hardly include a par saying, ‘The bogus information offered to me and contained in this report is, in fact, pure speculation and contains nothing that should be considered in any way to resemble certitudes or even probabilities’.’’ “Why not?” “It would never have got past the subs.” “We’re dealing with them later. So is that your defence? ‘The subs made me do it’?” “It was a diffi cult time. Facts were as scarce as chins in the royal enclosure at Ascot racecourse. So I just wrote down what each side told me.” He sneered. “Don’t try that one on me.” He leaned back. The sharp-suited, white-faced fi gure to his right read: “A person is guilty of libel if he or she publishes untrue allegations made by another person, if those allegations are false. It is no defence to claim that the accused was only quoting someone else.” I was getting desperate.


“If I’d stuck to facts, I’d have had no copy to fi le. I couldn’t even say who was on which side, especially afterwards.” They didn’t look impressed. “After the election, were you responsible for the article headed ‘Who is to blame for the result?’ ” I knew I was fi nished. I nodded, wordless. “You said in that piece that the following people were to blame: Jeremy Corbyn; Mr J Corbyn, the younger brother of climate physicist Piers Corbyn; the MP for Islington North; and Jeremy Corbyn.” He paused. “Do you think this was fair and accurate?” I sobbed. “Only in comparison with the Chilcot report,” I confessed. Like an unfi nished article, I awaited sentence. When it came, it was horrendous. “By ignoring the union’s code of practice, you


have shown yourself to be unprincipled, deprived of morality, careless, irresponsible and a scar on mankind. So what are we to do with you?” I held my breath. The verdict was devastating. “You are to leave the scribbling profession as of


today,” the chairman intoned. “And begin work as an estate agent on Monday.”


26 | theJournalist


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