12 San Diego Reader April 6, 2017
Walter
Mencken’s
SD ON THE QT
Campaign is Life Duncan Hunter
releases statement in response to Department of Justice
investigation into alleged misuse of
campaign funds Statement from the Rep- resentin’ Representative: “The House Ethics Com- mittee is conspiring with the DOJ to see whether I ‘converted funds’ from my congressional campaign committee to so-called ‘personal use.’ They’re talking about things like flights, jewelry, travel, and ‘other expenses.’ They seem to think these things don’t
Congressman: “They tryin’ to make the Hunter the prey, tho they know this show is pay to play.”
quality as ‘bona fide cam- paign expenditures.’ Fool, don’t you know that all that is part of my personal brand, and my brand is my number one campaign asset — just like every other politician and playa in DC? This is some kind of bullshit play right here, but I promise my fans that I am going to rise above. Nobody punks the Dunc.”
Doug Manchester and two of his “Q Crew” stand before a display depicting his vision for a new old stadium.
Homes for the Homeless Father Joe’s Villages unveils ambitious solution, claiming “there’s nothing about homelessness in San Diego that $531 million can’t fix.”
Almost factual news
The New Q Review Big Papa Doug pitches retro
vision for sad stadiumD
oug Manchester can still remember the days when Qualcomm Sta-
dium was shaped like a horse- shoe, with one end “open to the tremendous natural beauty of Mission Valley and the moun- tains beyond.” But if he gets his way, he won’t have to remember any more. “My plan, put for- ward by HKS Urban Design Group, is to strip off all the concrete ‘improvements’ that have been made to the original, and then add seating and ameni- ties that guarantee an updated, luxury experience without com- promising the classic design. It’s like a good facelift or boob job: you want the improvements to be as unobtrusive as possible, and you want to maintain that connection to the natural world. Right, ladies?”
FAT LEONARD NAVY SCANDAL EDITION
Above: artist’s rendering of proposed Father Joe’s homeless housing project in downtown San Diego. Below: Former asylum outside Dulzura that will be used to house those who “fail to transition.” Spokesman: “The important thing is, they won’t be on the streets.”
In No Country for Old
Men, Josh Brolin plays a man who gets in serious trouble after he snags a bag full of dirty money.
Malaysian business tycoon “Fat Leon-
ard” Francis came to this country looking to snag some lucrative contracts, got arrested in San Diego, and wound up in seri- ous trouble.
In The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Ben
Stiller plays a man with who travels to the far east on a quest to save his job and realizes his wildest fan- tasies in the process.
Retired Rear Admiral
Bruce Loveless has been is on trial in San Diego for his part in a bribery scandal that involved wild sex parties at the Shangri- La hotel in Manila.
General Douglas
MacArthur was noted for treating Filipino and Japanese leaders with respect.
Call it Pipey
MacPiperton? According to an indictment, “historical memorabilia related to General Douglas MacArthur were used by the participants in sexual acts” at the Manila hotel.
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