October 2014


www.hamptonroadsmessenger.com Your Opinion Matters


Don’t Rush to Judge Parents Who Use a Switch to Discipline Kids


BY HILARY BEARD Last month the


Minnesota Vikings’ star running back, Adrian


was indicted


Peterson, on


charges of “injury to a child” for striking his 4-year-old son with a tree branch— what many African Americans would call a whipping with a “switch.”


CBS Houston reports that the boy’s pediatrician


reported


his injuries to police; TMZ has published photos that it claims are


of the child’s


injuries; and Peterson cooperated with police, saying that he’d disciplined his son with a “whooping” and, when the event happened in May, texted the child’s mother, who lives in Minnesota, saying he felt bad for overdoing it.


Peterson’s attorney issued a public statement


By way of an initial defense, stating that the former


league MVP is a loving father who merely disciplined his son by using an approach that had been administered to him as a child.


And while, clearly, no one


condones child abuse, if Peterson’s statements are to be believed, he


Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson gives his son Adrian Jr. a kiss after training camp practice in Manka- to, Minn. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)


seems to love his child. But parenting practices vary widely, and his are being judged by a media and public not


known for being skilled in


analyzing issues complicated by race, gender, culture or potential implicit (unconscious) racial bias, which most Americans have.


determining actions


These all come into play when whether Peterson’s


went beyond community standards for disciplining his child.


Subjective Standards


If the TMZ photographs are, in fact, of his son, Peterson may have crossed over a line. But both


RUSH TO JUDGE PAGE 14 Our Faith


“The Power of Fellowship” By Rev. Dr. Gregory Headen


Too many of us are trying to live our lives in isola- tion from


people. Individu- alism


may


other have


some positive as- pects to it, but it tends to make us selfish and self-


centered as it serves as a barrier to authentic


relationships with other


people. Images of church that we find in scripture are “body”, “fel- lowship”, “communion”, and “peo- ple”. The body is not one member but many working in concert to make one body. “Fellowship” (koi- nonia) in the New Testament means authentic relationship based on com- mon faith. It was more than eating and talking together. It was caring so much that no one felt that the things he possessed was his own, but to be shared in community with brothers and sisters. Communion is a word that comes from the root that is also used to form the word “communi- ty”. “People” is a word that suggest more than one person, but rather a group of people. God did not design us to be in the world alone, but to be in community. Truly there are some problems that affect individuals that cannot be solved disconnected from


others. It is so sad to see so many people struggling to survive dis- connected from family and having no family to lean on. People burn bridges to family through dishonesty, deceit, and disrespect. Others have been so abused and broken by fam- ily members that they feel that they have no family. This alienation often extends beyond immediate family to extended family. Something called “Sin” is at the root of broken relation- ships. When we are out of sync with the God who created us, it follows that we are out of relationship with others that God also created. Thus we see the need for the Spirit’s work of forgiveness, reconciliation, jus- tification, and sanctification. All of these involve the work of the Holy Spirit, and without these we are poor indeed. In community and fellow- ship, we get a different definition of ourselves. We can accomplish so much more working together. We do not have to cry alone, struggle alone, rejoice alone. This means that each of us must open himself/herself to the possibility of receiving love from others and giving love to others. There is a word that needs to be lifted up for wholesome community.


It is


“integrity”. We need to be genuine in community, saying what we mean and meaning what we say.


BY T.J. HOLMES


Stay Alive, Black Men, Stay Alive This is what I do


whenever I see flashing lights in my rearview mirror: I put on my hazard lights and pull over as soon as safely possible. Then I put the car in park, roll down both front windows fully, turn off the engine,


take the keys out


of the ignition and dangle them high in the air out the driver’s side window before placing them on the roof of the car.


Next, I cross my arms at


the wrist, spread my fingers and display my empty hands out of the window and wait for the officer to come to the door to give me instructions. When the officer asks for my license and registration, I explain that they are in my pocket and my glove compartment, and I ask if it’s all right to move my hands in order to retrieve them. I don’t make any movement without first getting the officer’s blessing to do so.


The last time I was pulled over,


in the summer of 2012, the officer told me it was to make sure I “had insurance.” I was sure that wasn’t a legitimate


reason for stopping me.


I was furious. I wanted to curse. I wanted to get belligerent. I wanted to hurl accusations at the officer about his motivation for stopping me. I had done absolutely nothing wrong, and I knew it.


But during that stop, the officer had no idea about the fury inside me. I behaved as a model citizen. I was cooperative and answered him with only “Yes, sir,” and “No, sir,” followed his every instruction and extended him every courtesy.


I wonder what would have


happened had I acted on my emotions. If I had gotten loud or animated. How much could that scene have escalated? How far could it have gone? How would that officer have reacted?


reached out to


Immediately after the stop, I friends, including a


couple of attorneys, one of them a black attorney from Birmingham, Ala. I was still fuming when I called him and detailed what had just happened. Instead of being sympathetic,


he


calmly responded, “Be glad you made it home.” He was almost dismissive of my experience and my frustration. He was sincere in telling me that I should be grateful for the ultimate outcome of my police interaction: I wasn’t dead.


A subsequent investigation by the


officer’s department determined that the officer had no right to stop me. The department retrained him and other officers on traffic stops. So I won, right?


brothers winning,


I am now pleading with young to


abandon fairness, the idea vindication


of or


satisfaction. It won’t come. The No. 1 goal has to be survival. Survive the situation. Just live.


The reason I go through such


painstaking efforts when I deal with police is because I learned from my parents and through experience that you want that officer to feel as calm, comfortable and safe as possible. You don’t want him on edge, nervous or


agitated. Stay calm. Breathe. Don’t get animated. Don’t get loud. Don’t be a smart-ass. Don’t even move. Don’t do anything.


It doesn’t matter if you’re 100


percent innocent. You have to try to disarm an armed officer by giving him no excuse to act on what he might already preconceive as a threat: a black man. At that moment, your pride or even your rights cannot be the priority. Your life is. We will send the Rev. Al Sharpton later to fight on your behalf. But if you are up against a police officer who has the law on his side and a gun on his hip, you are going to lose. It’s just not worth it.


We don’t circumstances know all the surrounding Michael


Brown’s interaction with police that ended in his death. I’m not suggesting that he did anything wrong, and he certainly warranted


didn’t do anything that being


illustrate


the street. The case does, however, painfully


gunned down in the fragility


of


the black community’s relationship with police, and apparently, raising your hands to surrender isn’t even a guarantee of survival.


Not every cop out there is the


enemy. But how are we supposed to convince the community of that when we keep compiling stories of young, unarmed black men being


gunned


down by police? We are at a point where black men understandably feel that their lives are on the line with each police interaction. I can’t argue otherwise. And while we rightly teach our kids to respect authority, in the case of police, do we have to teach them to fear it as well?


To my young brothers, I know what I’m saying is not what you want to hear right now. You’re outraged. You should be. And despite what it may seem at times, I assure you that there


actually are people out there


who give a damn about whether you live or die. So please, just survive the moment.


I know it’s hard to be so


deferential in a situation where you’re the one being harassed, profiled or targeted. I’ve been there. It’s demoralizing,


dehumanizing and


emasculating. It’s wrong. But I just want you to live.


What I’m asking you to do


doesn’t solve our bigger problems. It doesn't solve anything. It’s not meant to. It’s just meant to get you home.


The Root


The Hampton Roads Messenger 11


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