Round Table


a humanist ceremony. I accept any individual has the right to choose and if attending a religious ceremony, I and my family listen and follow what is being said. We don’t partake, for example pray – we sit quietly and reflect. SP: Both my brother and I had secular marriages, my parents and grandparents had religious funerals at their request, and I organised my parents’ funerals. I attend religious and non-religious funerals out of respect for the deceased and to support their families. I do not bow my head or sing the songs, but do stand and sit with everyone else. Interestingly, at a religious graveside ceremony last year, where the mourners were informally gathered around the coffin, as I kept my head straight during prayers I noticed around 40% of the other mourners doing the same, showing the delicate balance of respect without faux observance. MD: My nephew was named at an informal family ‘naming ceremony’, though not a formal humanist affair. It was warm and welcoming not only of my nephew, which I guess was the main purpose, but of family members who are dedicated to both the Christian and Buddhist faith. I wouldn’t necessarily describe myself as a humanist; nonetheless, I have felt awkward at Christian ceremonies in the past. TS: Our wedding. We did not want our friend, who was going to marry us, to have to be ‘ordained’ online beforehand, so we went first to the Justice of the Peace for a secret, legal marriage. Then we just made up the wedding ceremony we wanted’ It wasn’t officially a humanist wedding,


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but it was a coming-out of sorts! It was the first time I’d made a really public statement about my lack of religious belief. CL: My husband and I had a humanist wedding. My Nana had a humanist funeral. But then my Granny had a Church of Scotland Funeral and my husband’s Granny had the same. My mother and her husband are Christians and my father and my mother in law are atheists. I am an agnostic. My children are yet to decide. So we are all varied. We do attend religious ceremonies out of respect for other people, but I find them awkward and find that they focus on Jesus rather than the people concerned. Which was one of the main reasons I became a celebrant to offer people the choice of a non- religious ceremony. LY: We had a humanist wedding ceremony – that’s how we both first became involved. We enjoyed it so much I applied to become a celebrant! My parents have both expressed that they would like a humanist funeral when the time comes, although neither of them are members of the Society. My extended family have mixed beliefs – from regular churchgoers to armchair believers to atheists. I’m very respectful of others’ rights to believe in what works for them, as long as it’s not to the detriment of others. I would never try to convince someone away from their religion, just like I wouldn’t expect someone to do that to me. I’m happy attending religious ceremonies as it reflects the beliefs of that person, which is right. I do often find them a little impersonal, but it depends on the person delivering the ceremony. l


www.humanism-scotland.org.uk


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