O
n Halloween, October 31, we
celebrate ghosts and scary things. Te spirits of the deceased are re- membered on November 1 and 2, All Saints Day and All Souls Day, respec- tively, also known as the Day of the Dead celebration.
Yet, you might not know this Octo- ber 30 is the 12th annual Create a Great Funeral Day. Before Hallow- een ghosts and Day of the Dead spir- its can go a-haunting, there’s usually a funeral or memorial service - the party no one wants to plan.
Confronting the idea of our own death causes uncomfortable thoughts. Rather than facing the inevitability of our dying, our culture denies death. Yet at the same time, we have this enormous celebration of scary and death-related things at Halloween.
Te idea behind Create a Great Fu- neral Day is to consider how you would like to be remembered. By let- ting loved ones know how you’d like your life celebrated, the survivors’ ex- perience can be so much easier.
Create a Great Funeral Day began in 2000, started by Stephanie West Al- len. She saw her husband struggling to pull together a meaningful funeral for his mother, who had left no di- rections before she died. Observing his grief, Allen felt that knowing
what her mother-in-law might have wanted would have eased the pain of memorial service preparations.
Why do people hesitate to discuss fu- neral planning, let alone do anything concrete about it in advance?
Social psychologists cite the Terror Management Teory, that all human behavior is ultimately motivated by the fear of death. Death creates anxi- ety, not only because it can strike at unexpected and random moments, but because its nature is essentially unknowable.
Te awareness of our own eventual death, called “mortality salience,” af- fects our decision-making in the face of this terror. Many people decide to avoid the topic.
Create a Great Funeral Day prompts us to be mindful of our mortality. Tis self-awareness enables us to plan reflectively in advance, so we don’t leave our families to react, disorga- nized and stressed, after our death.
Blue Öyster Cult’s 1976 hit song, “Don’t Fear the Reaper,” is a peren- nial favorite on classic rock stations. Its intended message is that love tran- scends the actual physical existence of the partners. Te Reaper refers to the Grim Reaper, a traditional personifi- cation of death in European folklore.
A fear of funeral planning equates to fear of death. Tose who hold fear in one area of their lives often have fear in other areas. It won’t kill you to move away from the fear of funerals.
Act with love, plan ahead, and talk about what you might want. Your courage will help your family reduce stress at a time of grief, save money, and create a meaningful, memorable “good goodbye.”
On Create a Great Funeral Day, don’t fear the Reaper.
Gail Rubin is a Certified Celebrant and author of the award-winning book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Tose Who Don’t Plan to Die. She also writes Te Family Plot Blog. She provides the informa- tion, inspiration and tools for proac- tive, creative funeral planning and speaks regularly to groups on get- ting the conversation started. Sign up for a free planning form at http://
AGoodGoodbye.com. Follow her “30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge” during the month of October at
http://thefamilyplot.wordpress.com/ category/30-day-challenge/
By Gail Ruben Article Source: http://EzineArticles. com/?expert=Gail_Rubin
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