UNWRAPPING THE GIFT WE ARE TO OURSELVES by Helen Ferrara
HAVE YOU NOTICED that many of us seem to believe that if only we had the wealth, body shape, lover or, oh!, just this one next thing we crave for (whatever that might be), we would be fulfilled and so perfectly happy? Fulfilment might be described as a state of being that is almost synonymous with happiness, an enduring sort of happiness which is more like contentment, yet somehow we see fulfilment as inextricably linked to what we accomplish in life and how well we perform, and we are constantly chasing after the next goal we have set or that has been set for us. One of the meanings given for fulfill is “to comply with”, and we certainly do that. We comply and conform to the standards, rules and regulations set, invariably without even stopping to think if we agree with them or whether we believe they are fair or moral. In fact, so many of us even pass on chain emails simply because we are so used to complying, but does all of this lead us to fulfilment? Alas, all too often it brings stress, a feeling of being time-poor, (“If only I had more time!” is a wishful thought that is all too familiar) burnout, arguments, poor health, and the list goes on. So we crash, blame ourselves, our loved ones or others, and then start again, this time incorporating a special course on time or stress management and other self-improvement courses, always trying to cram in more and more. If we are honest with ourselves, it is
easy to see that continuing on this path will actually lead us further and further from fulfilment. What if, as so many enlightened ones have told us, all is perfect already and all that we need is within us? How could that be so? After all there is much that needs improving in the world. Yet if we imagine for a moment that within us is the potential of bringing ourselves to fruition (another of the meanings of fulfil), then it becomes obvious that we need to look within. We all start this journey as children – the exploration of the self, which is how we learn to talk and to walk – but too soon well-meaning adults put a stop to our further delving within, making us instead focus on outside things – so they can socialise us and educate us. Sadly we are taught to go through life ignoring the little voice that calls us to look within and live by our own truth. We are tested, measured, weighed and
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constantly made to compete with others, and invariably we are found not to be good enough. As a result we are taught to trust ‘experts’, ‘rules’, and the way things ‘should be’ (which includes many outdated traditions) rather than ourselves, because we are obviously not good enough. So of course we will not listen to ourselves, but how can we be anything or do anything in life, let alone understand or discover anything, if not by starting with ourselves? Regardless of who or what one may personally believe is responsible for the creation of human beings (be it God, the universe or even just a happy synchronistic coming together of all the exact requirements for life), it is difficult to get past the point that by being me – a living being – I have me, just like you have you, totally and absolutely. It is mind blowing to really let the fact of this sink in. If only we would look at it, then we could reclaim what we were getting
to know so well as young children. We could, and we can, look at the ‘me’ and the ‘you’ that makes us who we are, and use our senses to explore ourselves and get to know ourselves again.
We have ourselves – so we are a gift to ourselves – a gift that allows us to navigate through life. What if we chose to go back to this amazing and only partially explored gift of ourselves, this gift we have still not fully unwrapped, which in many cases is lying
there abandoned and waiting to be wanted, to be loved, and accept that the gift that we are to ourselves is an expression of love? Learning about this gift and then allowing it to unfold and nurturing it to fulfil its potential, as we come to understand it, means a conscious use of our creativity. In accepting our living self – our whole self – as the gift that allows us to live, we make a conscious decision to live. In doing this we connect to the whole of life – this is the whole that is greater than the sum of the parts, the whole that gives us meaning. The sense of contentment and abundance
that comes from accepting oneself as a gift is incredible, and so is the sense of peace. Ego becomes just a part of the whole of the self, and each part naturally does what each part is best for, harmoniously. No longer do we blame ourselves for
mistakes, as they are not seen as mistakes but paths to learning. In taking time to look, we see more clearly, and we discover that what we once would have classed as mistakes are really opportunities for growth. In further exploring this gift of our self, in getting to know it, then we are led to what is the natural inclination for the growth and fulfilment of the self, and so we start believing that the self is enough – enough for what? Enough and more than enough, infinitely abundant in fact, for a rich and fulfilling life; enough for giving the cues to where we go to from here, as it constantly unfolds and leads us on a diverse and entrancing adventure that living is, that living was always meant to be before we were led astray and stopped from unwrapping the gift we are to ourselves. My desire this year is to entice you to
accept the biggest gift you have – the gift that you are to yourself, as in our present situation on earth we cannot afford to pass up any of the gifts that have been bestowed on us. Your way really is the best way for you! Sure there are always things that you can learn, but if you listen to your inner voice, the one that comes with the gift of yourself, then you will be guided to that which resonates with your truth and can help you grow to fulfil your own potential for true contentment. And that is only the beginning, for who knows what wonders your fulfilled self is likely to accomplish?
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24 march 2012
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