Sternpost
this year?” they asked. “Oh no, never go these days. Nothing there for me, except of course the Classic Boat stand...”
And so, righteously, and miserably, I moped about in my Highland eyrie feeling – well, I should have said smug. In fact, as the days dawned, each gloomier, windier or greyer than the last, thoughts of brightly-lit hangars in Docklands (or even a Nissan showroom in Slough) took on an appealing glow.
Boat Show no-go blues F
Heated halls have some attractions, decides Adrian Morgan
or about the last four years I have persuaded myself that going to the London Boat Show is like deciding to spend a few days inside the Hyundai
dealership’s showroom in Nuneaton (chosen at random, so no offence to the people of that place – or for that matter to anyone who enjoys nothing more of a weekend than kicking Hyundai, or any other car-maker’s, tyres). Now I am not sure. Not going to the London show has become a mantra among those who appreciate fine, ideally wooden, boats. “But for the Classic Boat stand,” they say with a superior smile, “there’s really nothing of interest these days. Just wall to wall oilskins at so-called bargain prices, binloads of multiplait and pointless electronic gadgetry. I did buy a chart plotter once, but that was a few years back. And the entrance fee... Phew!” This year was the same. Could I be bothered to catch a plane from Edinburgh for a few days in a brightly-lit hangar full of eye-wateringly bright plastic? Could I hell. And who on earth is Tamara Ecclestone, who opened the show? Why not Chay Blyth, like the good old days, or even Ben Ainslie? Tamara alone was enough to bring out the snobbery in me. “Going to the show
98 CLASSIC BOAT MARCH 2012
Alas, too late. And however much I repeated the mantra “Nothing there for me; nothing there for me,” visions of Ms Ecclestone and the girls handing out leaflets on the Sunseeker stand, the tempting piles of loose cordage, the bargain-price chart plotters, the indoor water skiing arena, the ‘how to set a spinnaker’ challenge, the buzz of the crowds, the cream on the Guinness and, last but not least, the Classic Boat stand where the admirable Will Stirling would be spiling the third strake of his little dinghy, became almost too poignant to bear as the rain beat down on the Velux and another blast of icy air swept in from the north.
And then it dawned on me: the
“And who is Tamara Ecclestone anyway? Why not Chay Blyth?”
London Boat Show’s main purpose, at least for us elitist, wooden boat types, is to make us glad to scurry back from all that ghastliness to our superior little wooden world. We can wander, nose in air, between the ranks of plastic and dream of our little wooden 4-tonners, snug in their berths; scoff at the latest piece of wizardry to drain our tiny 70amp/hr batteries; avert our eyes from the vulgar Sunseekers (if not the lassies handing out the leaflets), and assure ourselves, “This is the last time.” Entrance fee well spent. A bargain, in fact. The show has other, lesser attractions, of course: to buy a cheap plotter every four years or a 7m offcut of multiplait from a large bin to add to all the other useless offcuts in your locker; to sip Guinness; meet old friends; watch a boat builder spile a plank, and an oar maker scoop out a spoon; maybe even climb Victory’s mast. Or, in my case, simply escape for a while from six weeks of sunless, wet, violently windy Highland weather. So, next year let us all put snobbery aside and, if only to make us feel even more superior, head for Docklands. Things the way they are, there may not be another show and it will partly be our fault. Fingers crossed, see you on the Classic Boat stand, still the best reason for going to the Boat Show. It could be the last time.
GUY VENABLES
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84 |
Page 85 |
Page 86 |
Page 87 |
Page 88 |
Page 89 |
Page 90 |
Page 91 |
Page 92 |
Page 93 |
Page 94 |
Page 95 |
Page 96 |
Page 97 |
Page 98 |
Page 99 |
Page 100