The Enlightened Mom By Terri Amos-Britt
Parenting Yourself First:
Setting the Example for your Children to Heal
I want to toot my own horn as a mom right now. This is not something that I normally feel led to do, but in this case, I do. With this issue of Aspire focusing on spiritual parenting, I feel it’s an awesome opportunity to share a story that happened recently with my youngest daughter, Kolbi. In it, you’ll see how powerful an impact your example can be when you as a mom choose to heal, parenting yourself first.
Kolbi is 18. I used to describe her as a butterfly when she was little. She was so full of life. During her elementary school years, every time she walked into the schoolyard, younger kids would run up to her, wrapping their arms around her. She was very loved. Then in early 2007, my hubby died. And with that, it seemed a part of Kolbi died, too.
Anger became a way of life for Kolbi. Pretty soon, my little but- terfly was so buried in darkness that I wasn’t sure if she’d ever see the light again.
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to find the gift in it, using it as an opportunity to learn about myself and grow. And in that, found an in- ner happiness and peace that I had never known. Now it was time to trust that my kids would make the same choice with their daddy’s passing. Thankfully, they all did, but Kolbi’s story says it best.
It was a very difficult time. As a mom, I worried how my husband’s death would affect my children. I knew that how they handled this crisis could impact them for the rest of their lives.
In the past, I might have tried to save my kids from the pain instead of allowing them to go through it. But I know that I can’t make my kids happy and whole. Finding happiness is a choice.
I made that choice years ago. I de- cided to face life head on, taking full responsibility for my own happiness and healing. No matter how difficult a situation was, I would go within
Aug/Sept 2011 The following is a texting dialogue
Kolbi had recently with a new friend. She had just told the boy on the other end of the conversation about her dad’s death. This is where we’ll begin.
Friend: “Oh I’m very sorry to hear that.”
Kolbi: “It’s okay. It’s all a part of life :)”
Friend: “You have such a great at- titude about everything! I love it!”
Kolbi: “Ha ha. I have to be optimis- tic otherwise life would seem unfair and hopeless. And I’ve been down that road and I refuse to go there
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