Warmblood By Scot Tolman
of my sense of humor and my verbosity has given students the perverse idea that I’d be the ideal graduation or baccalaureate speaker. Don’t worry; this hasn’t gone to my head. Student requests are not always quite so flattering. During my growing-a-beard-for-Macbeth period, I was also asked to play the role of Hagrid in a Harry Potter Pep Rally for Spirit Week…I declined the opportunity; I’m too insecure to play fat characters—no Santa Claus, no Michelin Man, no Ursula the Sea Witch (although I did consent to dress in drag and play the excessively buxom, Southern TV hostess, Sal Magundi, who introduced the school yearbook via video feed…), no large, round fruit costumes, no Hagrid. Well, at the two baccalaureate requests, I’ve had to have the somewhat awkward, against-school-policy-to-discuss- your-personal-religious-beliefs conversation divulging the fact that I’m a non-believer. In both instances, the students didn’t see this as an issue (you have to love the generosity of the adolescent spirit), and I went on to give the spiritual addresses. And, in both instances, given the basically moral and self-reflexive kind of person I am, I’ve had appropriate cause to examine my beliefs and realize that I’ve spent most of my life searching for something in which to believe with the religious fervor of a particular faith. Well, after these many years of stumbling in a faithless darkness, I think I’ve finally found my way: Totilas. Whether he is God or he is proof that there is a god is irrelevant. I now believe. You think I’m kidding. For those of you who’ve been living under the proverbial
I
rock for the last two years, Totilas is the Gribaldi x Glendale x Akteur stallion that has taken the dressage world by storm. He has set three world records in the last year; has sold out boring dressage venue after boring dressage venue; in his first year at stud, has people around the world begging to have access to his genetic potential; and, Olympic judge after Olympic judge has gone on record saying that he has raised the bar for dressage breeding and is the dressage horse of our lifetime. Even more remarkably, he has done all this in only his second year at Grand Prix. Just in case you think I’m easy prey for effective
marketing campaigns (OK, I have gone on record admitting that I have teared up during a really good McDonald’s
74 September/October 2010
n my many years as a public high school teacher, some combination
commercial…it was about a little girl taking her daddy to dinner…I’m a daddy…I’m susceptible.), although excited, I approached my first in-the- flesh viewing of Totilas objectively, fully intent on employing my well- trained breeder eye to this so-called equine phenomenon. Well, do you believe in levitation? I’m not talking about Totilas here—I’m talking about an overweight, middle-aged horse breeder from New Hampshire. I don’t
remember how I got to my feet. Was it when the freestyle music started? Was it during the first moment of passage? My normally self-conscious-of-my-bulk self didn’t care that I was blocking the view for two-thirds of the row behind me. I heard this voice breathlessly and emotionally saying, my god; oh, my god. It was my voice. By the time Totilas had transitioned seamlessly from the most elevated and expressive extended trot I have ever seen to an extended walk on the long rein with his whole body just undulating with suppleness and relaxation, my catharsis was complete, and I collapsed into a little folding chair, which I normally would have approached with some trepidation. For the rest of his freestyle, I was rapt. And wrapped, colloquially speaking. I know I screamed more for him at the end of this ride than I did for Axl Rose after “Welcome to the Jungle” at the Worcester Centrum in the mid-nineties. I know my life was changed more in that moment than in late August of 1986 at a TCBY in Gainesville, Florida, when I learned there was a new flavor of ice cream called Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. I had found something in which to believe. I had found my faith. I had found Totilas. Well, one of the things I’m quickly learning about having
a faith is remaining stalwart in the face of the non-believer, those who, for whatever reason, have not seen the light. My response? A state of grace. Yes, I take myself to the relaxation of that extended walk moment, undulate slightly to give my psyche the full effect, and then smile with the benevolence of the great Totilas himself. In closing, Totilas be with you.
WT
Scot Tolman has been breeding Dutch Warmbloods for the past 20 years at Shooting Star Farm in Southwestern New Hampshire. Read more of Scot’s writing at
shootingstarfarm.com.
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