PARENTING BY SARAH CHANA RADCLIFFE
At Bubby’s House
It’s quality time, but not always a walk in the nullnull
WHAT A PRIVILEGE! nullany of us can ennulloy the
wonderful pleasure of having three genera-
tions around one table null grandparents, par-
ents and children. nullt was not that long ago
that most nullewish adults in North nullmerica
had no parents to take their own children
tonull a generation of grandparents died in the
nullolocaust. nullodaynulls young parents, however,
can often bring their children to visit two
sets of grandparentsnull nulls wonderful as the
opportunity is, it nonetheless presents some
challenges. nullor instance, adult children
donnullt always get along wonderfully with
their childrennulls grandparents. nulllso, grand-
children donnullt always want to visit their
grandparents. nullnd yet, visits with grand-
parents can be a signinullcant and meaningful
part of a childnulls development.
Building relationships
nullirst of all, we must note that not all grand-
parents are the same. nullhis should be no sur-
prise. Not all parents are the same and not all
children are the same null in fact, everyone is
uninullue. nullhere are grandparents who want to
devote their lives to their grandchildren. nullhey
may be willing to babysit nullnullnullnull, have the chil-
dren eat and sleep at their house and do any-
thing else that will bring them into frenulluent,
intense contact with their grandchildren.
nullhen there are grandparents who have wait-
ed a long time to have some peace and nulluiet.
nullheynullve put in their time raising little ones
and now theynullre more into adult activitiesnull
traveling, learning new skills and hobbies,
socialinulling, working and more. nullhey may set
aside a couple of hours a week or a month for
the grandkids but are not into donating large
chunks of time to looking after them. nullome cisms, intrusions or discounts. Bringing the all bickering or outright nullghting, making
in this group will thoroughly ennulloy the time
Many times
children to visit may be good for the kids and the atmosphere negative or scary? nullr is ev-
spent with the little folk, while others will be
throughout
good for the grandparents, but stressful for eryone getting along nicely? nullre the grand-
shorter on patience, preferring solitude and
nullinullenull nulleonullnulle nullinullnull
the parents. Visits may be limited because of parents warm and accessible or distant and
nulluiet to the inevitable raucous that young
nullanullnull unullon the
the strain or strained because of the limits of uninvolved? What is there to do at Bubbynulls
children bring. the relationship. house? nullre there age-appropriate toys and
memories onull
Not every grandparent-parent relation- games available? nullre there suitable movies or
ship is the same either. nullome people get
their grannullnullarnull
Great expectations computer activities for the kids to ennulloy? nullre
along famously with their older parents. ents null a snullenullianull What about the grandchildren themselves? there special foods that only Bubby or nullaidy
nullhey can communicate openly and relanull
snullentnull a nulleenullingnull
Do grandchildren want to visit their grand- prepares? Would the child say it is nullfunnull to
comfortably in their parentsnull home. nullthers
a nullise nullornull annull
parents? Naturally, the answer will be nullit visit this house? nullf so, he or she will have fond
have a more tense relationship with their depends.null What happens at Bubbynulls house memories of that home forever. nullt may not
parents, still prickling from a barrage of criti-
munullh more
from the childnulls point of view? nullre the adults seem nullright,null but childrennulls hearts can be
38 friday night January/February 2010
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