26
THE WEIRS TIMES, Thursday, February 11, 2010
Dear Dr. Debi, if your list is long, is it writer of the Honeydew Now, when you get to
My partner has a long because you never get to list may figure you are al- figuring times and de-
Honeydew list for me, but any it? Then the question ready doing handy things, mands, just be sure to
I want to do something is, if the list is reason- so why not do these? But get a little flexible and let
that I think of on my own able, how come it never they need to understand a few of your pet things
for them, to be special. gets done? the freedom element. drop off your radar for
Any ideas? Folks can ignore a list Once they do, they will just that week, another
Signed, because they are so busy change their expectations gift. Aha, you are catch-
Seeking Originality and overscheduled that and know their list is not ing on. And, if the tasks
no time comes up for automatically tops, but they want have a little
Dear Honey Bee, such things. Or, you can must fit into the flow of prep work, tuck that into
Each of us hopes that skip the list because the work assignments you set your week ahead and dis-
we can offer something items are unimportant to yourself, if ever they may appear to do it. The mys-
by dr. debi warner
unique and special when larger tasks that must be find such a spot.
Contributing Writer
tery will intrigue them,
we want to please some- accomplished to keep the Well, that said, it could and become part of the
one. We want to surprise roof over your heads. be quite a gift to shift your gift mystique.
and delight our loved Another reason the list focus over to their priori- If you are involved in
Make Winter
one, making them feel joy may be ignored is be- ties for a week. Skipping some big projects or sur-
with our gift like a child’s cause you value your free over the self-governed vival activities, strangely
A Little Easier Christmas morning. But time and define ‘free’ as aspect of home improve- you might enjoy the tiny
to Handle!
actually there is more self-determined. Many of ment to let the partner’s vacation that comes with
to it than surprise and us get rewards from home list be foremost could changing focus to a small
American Made
originality in bringing projects partly because be a gift itself. Let me gift task that is off track
someone delight. we are our own boss and put is another way, let- for the big stuff. A few
Pellet Stoves
You mentioned that the can set goals and sched- ting your partner be boss days focus on hanging
Honeydew list is long. By ules according to our own for a week could knock clothes racks, or building
the way, the list takes its schemes and preferences. their socks off, and would storage or study space
name from the sentences We take breaks when we be even more surprising can release you from the
that start with, “Honey, want; we work overtime than giving them a dia- grip of pressure on your
will you do this…?” These and even can double our mond ring. bigger project and will
lists usually have things salary – hey, what is twice If you find that you are transmit the message to
on them like build a clos- zero? Anyway, we en- swamped with sched- your Home Team that
et, fix a railing, set up joy the autonomy of the uled activities and can- they are indeed important
a storage system, move handy work. A Honeydew not squeeze the time in, to you, including their
some heavy things, or list is kind of opposite maybe you need to talk quality of life. Also, let-
paint a room. that frame of mind. with your partner about ting your brain rest a tad
I have to ask though, From the outside, the the situation. This con- from the bigger pressures
We Carry Quality
versation itself is also a can also refresh your per-
Hardwood Pellets
gift. You can bring for- spective and renew your
ward the list and the cal- resolve to get back at it
Shovels, Scoops,
endar and ask for ideas again with new energy
on what can be done to and vision.
Roof Rakes, Sand, get a few things of their Somehow the flexibility
Ice Melt &
liking to happen. Your and communication of
partner will be charmed the gifting process may
Roof Melt Tablets. to see that you are taking be the better part of the
the time to try to plan out gift you develop with your
a way to meet their needs teamwork, a if that will
and desires. You might bring your True Home
not figure on this, but Improvement.
that can make a partner Happy Home Team!
pretty happy in itself. Dr. Debi
Shop locally for everyday low prices
on quality tools, hardware & home
Dr. Debi Warner is the Founder of Renovation Psychology
®
and
improvement supplies.
author of Putting the Home Team to Work, available now online.
Dr. Debi provides advice for greater domestic harmony to folks who
Open Sundays 8 a.m. - 2 p.m.
are renovating their home – for True Home Improvement.
This column is offered for enjoyment and enhancement and is
Trustworthy
not intended to replace your personal medical care.
Photo by Bob Jenks, St. Johnsbury, Vt. Dr. Debi has a con-
Hardware Store
sultation practice, visiting home sites all over New England from
1084 Union Ave., Laconia
her studio in Littleton, NH at the Tannery Marketplace. © 2009
524-1601
Renovation Psychology
®
Visit www.RenovationPsychology.com
Questions are welcome.
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