PAGE 28
Neighbors NEWSPAPER
OCTOBER 2009
A Message for Dads
begin to spread their wings and notice
and exploring the world outside … in- creates a minimum standard. You
boys, begin dating, and get broken
cluding boys. Suddenly, your daugh- have now created a space in her heart
hearts, I can only imagine how that
ter has a broken heart. that can only be filled by a man that is
impacts dad. He can’t do anything to
I recently read that when a rela- at least as good as you. She will never
fix it, and wonders what to do about it,
tionship ends, a woman’s heart has a accept less. You get to set the bar!
especially her heart and tears.
void. That void is the hole that is left, Now, on the other hand, if a dad
Well, dads, as a woman who is a
where he touched her heart. It is the does not imprint his daughter’s heart
daughter and a mother, and someone
size of how deeply he touched it. If with love, connection and depth, her
who has experienced a broken heart,
they had a deep connection, the hole heart is open to any level of connec-
and felt the loving care of a man, I
will be larger than if they had a shal- tion with a man. Do you see how vul-
would be honored to share some in-
low connection. I am told this hole re- nerable that leaves her, and why she
sights with you on this subject.
mains until it is filled by a connection relies on you to show her the way?
In this day and age, everyone is
with another man. What is interesting,
busy. Parents are working and caring
is that a woman will not be satisfied
So, here are three
for the house, kids, etc. Kids are in
by a man who fills only part of that
school, have homework, and usually
hole. She will demand a man with
things you can do to
have sports or other outside activities.
depth, love and connection that fills
make a difference for
In the midst of all of this, have you no-
that space in its entirety, and possibly
ticed that the days breeze by, soon to
even more. Anything less just won’t
your daughter:
By Traci L. Gaffney
be weeks, months, and then years?
do.
I would imagine that every father
Have you noticed that your daughter
So, it dawned on me that dads
1. Be the first man to capture her
wants his daughter to marry a man
one day wakes up and is different?
have a huge advantage here. If you
heart. Connect with her. Love her.
who is going to take care of her, keep
She is separating from you, finding
capture your daughter’s heart and
Hold her in your lap. Laugh with her.
her safe, and treat her well. When girls
her own sense of self and belonging,
show her depth and connection, that
Be her Hero.
2. Do not let go of that level of
heart connection and depth until the
day you give her hand in marriage.
3. Role model for your sons how
to do this for their daughters.
We need to start raising our chil-
dren with the end in mind, not just
crossing our fingers and hoping for the
best. We are their guardians, teach-
ers, guides, and protectors. What you
create with your children in this pro-
cess will be immeasurable and will
last for generations.
Have a safe and
Happy Halloween!
Traci Gaffney is an expert on
parenting and pregnancy. To
sign up for her free parenting
newsletter, go to www.aloving-
way.com. You can contact Traci
directly at tracigaffney@alov-
ingway.com or 800-647-1171.
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