for spiritual meaning. While many in our
society are “spiritual but not religious,” they perceive that people in the church are “religious but not spiritual.” When someone who
hasn’t participated in church life comes into a congrega- tion, they usually are not looking to see if the people there would make good friends. Teir underlying ques- tion isn’t “Are the people here nice?” but rather “Is God clearly a part of this place?” If the answer they per- ceive is “yes,” they then ask the next question: “Do the people seem to notice God’s presence here?” Visitors want to know if this is a
place where people have a vibrant and growing faith life. If so, they find hope that they, too, might find a vibrant and growing faith. Once the God questions and the
vibrant faith questions are answered, then people ask: “Are these people I would want to hang around with?” Here, being nice is helpful. People want to journey with peo-
ple who know God and are growing in faith, but who are also caring and loving in authentic ways. Relation- ships do matter. But nice is the third thing on the list—not the first. Here’s a simple exercise to do in
your congregation. With no prompts hinting at the right answer, ask people to write down the one thing they appreciate most about your congregation. Collect the answers and tally them. If they mostly write “Te people here are nice” (or some similar phrase), then you have work
Author bio: Daubert is an ELCA pastor who lives in Elgin, Ill., and is a managing partner of Day 8 Strategies.
to do. Leaders would do well to liſt the results up explicitly and work to discuss and refocus congregational life to be consciously and explic-
itly centered in Christ. If they men-
tion the God they encounter in Jesus first, then celebrate and ask how to share this God
with others and help people in their life’s journey with Jesus. In the end, it’s fine to be nice. But nice is not enough.
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