22 Humour
66909 GILBERT & SULLIVAN VINTAGE FAVOURITES CD
by The D’Oyly Carte Opera Company With chorus and orchestra conducted by Isidore Godfrey, here are highlights from The Gondoliers, The Mikado, The Pirates of Penzance, HMS Pinafore and The Yeomen of the Guard. Includes an expert eight page booklet and over an hour of carefully remastered history. Playing time 76 minutes on bargain CD. ONLY £5
68822 MAD DOGS AND
ENGLISHMEN CD by Noël Coward
24 unforgettable tracks on quality compact disc, digitally enhanced from the archive recordings in the Memory Lane series. Together with the title track are: Don’t Let’s be
Beastly to the Germans, Mrs. Worthington, His Excellency Regrets, London Pride, Poor Little Rich Girl, Let’s Say Goodbye, A Room With a View, The Last Time I Saw Paris, Imagine a Duchess’ Feelings! and The Party’s Over Now - not with this quality compact disc! Great value and highly recommended. ONLY £4
67739 TENDERLY CD by the Oscar Peterson Trio
Three musicians who knew each other’s playing style intimately - Ellis and Brown could keep up with Peterson’s flights of fancy and inspired him to even greater improvisation. The three play music by Cole Porter, Jerome Kern, Rodgers & Hart, Harold Arlen, Gillespie and Ellington. Tracks include I Only Have Eyes for You, Blue Moon, The Lady is a Tramp, Night and Day and Tea for Two. 17 tracks playing time 77 minutes on CD. ONLY £6
69785 KATHLEEN FERRIER: A
Centenary Tribute 4 CDs ‘No singer in this country has ever been more deeply loved, as much for the person she was as for the voice she uttered’ - Rupert Christiansen. With a total playing
time of 298 minutes on four compact discs and beautifully boxed is this tribute to the great voice of Kathleen Ferrier. Featuring favourite tracks including Blow The Wind Southerly, O Rest In The Lord and Silent Night, Come You Not From Newcastle? and He Was Despised. CD three comprises Mahler’s ‘Das Lied Von Der Erde’ with the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra and Bruno Walter, and Brahms’s ‘Alto Rhapsody’. Also Mahler’s ‘Kindertotenlieder’ and Brahms’s ‘Four Serious Songs’.
ONLY £10 66917 BETJEMAN READS BETJEMAN:
Favourite Poems CD by John Betjeman All the tracks are written and read by John Betjeman (recorded 1959) and here are on bargain priced CD, playing time over 70 minutes. Includes A Subaltern’s Love Song, How to Get on in Society, Business Women, False Security, Hunter Trials, North Coast Recollections, Seaside Golf, Sunday in Ireland, Beside the Seaside, Our Padre and more. 19 tracks plus bonus tracks recorded in 1952 and 1953 of poems by Betjeman read by Dylan Thomas. ONLY £6
68827 BEST OF THE MARX BROTHERS CD Chico’s Masurka, Who’s That Man?, Chico’s Piano, To Blind Love, Cosi Cosa, Swing Swingali, Harpo and Chico Pianos, Sing While You Sell, Lidia the Tattooed Lady, Ridin’ the Range, Mamma Wants to Know Who Stole the Jam and My Friend’s Going Back Home are the 12 tracks on this digitally enhanced CD made from original recordings which may have some background noise. A lovely Memory Lane production. ONLY £4
69009 LUCIA’S PROGRESS: 3CDs by E. F. Benson
Enjoy the shenanigans of these genteel ladies who jostle for pole position in Tilling society in this gentle satire delivered with the utmost charm, as fresh today as when it was first recorded in 1931. Emmeline Lucas (Lucia to her friends) is now a permanent resident of the ancient and enlightened town of Tilling, a most distressing truth for her arch rival Miss Elizabeth Mapp, unnerved by Lucia’s challenge to her social supremacy. Making attempts at the town council, a platonic marriage and even the village cricket club, Lucia employs her most dazzling ingenuity and cunning as the pair battle for control. A classic of wit and snobbery, abridged on three CDs and read by Miriam Margolyes. £14.99 NOW £5
69011 MAPP& LUCIA: 3CDs by E. F. Benson
Emmeline Lucas, or Lucia to her friends, is an arch-snob of the highest order. Despite being a newcomer to the village of Tilling, she is eager to wrest the reins of social supremacy from the incumbent, Elizabeth Mapp of Mallards, and install herself as its benevolent dictator. However in Miss Mapp, Lucia meets her match. Using as their deadly weapons garden parties, bridge evenings and charming tea parties, the two combatants strive to out-charm each other and the whole of Tilling society as they vie for the position of doyenne of the town. Abridged on three CDs. £14.99 NOW £3.50
69023 TROUBLE FOR LUCIA: 3CDs by E. F. Benson
Lucia reaches the pinnacle of village life by becoming Mayor of Tilling, but with arch rival Miss Elizabeth Mapp appointed as Mayoress, the sailing doesn’t look entirely plain. However with a novelist, an artist and an opera singer also staying in ever-quiet Tilling, the village looks set to become a pressure cooker of ladies struggling for ultimate control. Lucia also has the usual trials of Tilling to concern her - the haunting of a resurrected budgie, and the overnight stay of a duchess that nobody will believe actually happened. Abridged on three CDs and read by Miriam Margolyes OBE. £14.99 NOW £5.50
69276 MAPP & LUCIA BOOKS ON CD: SET OF THREE: 9CDs
Buy all three and save even more. £44.97 NOW £13
! HUMOUR
Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard
70310 R.I.P: Here Lie the Last Words, Morbid Musings, Epitaphs and Fond Farewells of the Famous and Not-So-
Famous by Susan Hom We love the singularly appropriate format of this book, in the style of a tombstone. You would think that a selection of morbid musings would be miserable, but not a bit of it. Gathered together in these pages
are the witty and often rib-tickling words of some of the most famous and infamous ghosts the world has ever known. We meet world leaders like George Washington, gangsters such as Al Capone and actors of the stature of Bette Davis, as well as scientists, musicians, criminals, writers and people from all walks of life - all of whom have something significant or humorous to say about passing away to the other side. Some of them are recent, some have been hanging around for hundreds of years. All are worth reading. We leave you with this comment by a Broadway producer on seeing Harry Houdini’s coffin: ‘I bet you he ain’t in there!’ Happy epitaphs. 160 pages with attractive colophons. £4.99 NOW £3
70488 LITTLE BOOK OF
FARTS by Steven Appleby ‘I stink, therefore I am.’ This is the thinking man’s book of farts, one cartoon per page by the very talented Mr Appleby who parps a great deal. The repertoire of domestic scenes, inside lifts, on trains, over dinner and après curry
farts, drawings of fart-collecting equipment for the hobbyist in a section called Farting for Fun and Profit, and even how to capture and build up your own collection to sell on eBay. £4.99 NOW £2
70514 WHY DO FARTS SMELL LIKE ROTTEN EGGS? by Mitchell Symons
Ever wondered why we ‘knuckle down’ to tasks? Or why we can be said to be ‘happy as a clam’? If you want to know how Egyptian mummies were given that name, why we refer to UPPER CASE and lower case lettering, or why you should carry your new bride across the threshold, then this is the book
for you! Its acid green colour and cheeky illustrations ensure you are in for hours of fun facts and curious trivia - do lemmings really jump off cliffs? What is the hidden message behind the nursery rhyme ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’? Why are enthusiasts called ‘buffs’? Why is Blackadder’s Baldrick known as a dogsbody? No subject is too strange and no trivia too tough for Mitchell Symons, who has the answer to all of these crazy questions and many more! 335 pages, packed with wacky facts and entertaining illustrations. £7.99 NOW £4
Bibliophile Books Unit 5 Datapoint, 6 South Crescent, London E16 4TL TEL: 020 74 74 24 74 70668 MONTY PYTHON
LIVE! edited by Eric Idle “The 100 Metres for Runners with No Sense of Direction” and “The Marathon for Those with Extremely Weak Bladders” are sketches from the “Silly Olympics”, performed by the Monty Python team on their US tour in the eighties and just as funny today as 30 years ago. The
Pythons first achieved stardom with a television series, so that when they embarked on live touring in 1973 they were astonished to find themselves treated like rock stars. If Eric Idle’s skilful compilation of their recollections is anything to go by, they managed to get used to it quite quickly, and if Carol Cleveland’s revelations are to be believed they were soon taking full advantage of the fringe benefits attendant on their new lifestyle. Among the recollections, archive photographs, Gilliamesque graphics and old playbills are embedded the scripts of sketches, both classic and less well known, including the immortal “Parrot”, the “Four Yorkshiremen” who compete with ever taller tales of childhood hardship, “The Last Supper” in which Michelangelo explains to the Pope why there are three Jesuses in his first draft for the picture, and needless to say the “Silly Walks” sketch and the Lumberjack song, where apparently at the Hollywood Bowl George Harrison was an unobtrusive guest performer with his stetson pulled well down. Pure joy for every Python fan and beautifully produced with humorous reproductions in colour and black and white. 233pp, paperback, fully illustrated in Terry Gilliam’s wacky style.
£24.99 NOW £6
70309 PENIS POKEY by Christopher Behrens PEN IS included! Actually, you have to add your own for the full effect of this activity book. Or you could just pop through your fingers and wiggle - or your nose, or other
protuberances (!) while a friend draws on the wipe clean pages and everybody rolls about laughing. With a dedication page ‘This book belongs to’, you can use your pen to connect the dot-to-dot pictures, complete the maze, try out the puzzles and draw your own creations. It is a colourful board book to play with yourself again and again using the hole in the centre of the pages. Can you fit your bit in this drill (where the construction worker is drilling!)? Use the marker pen to finish various pictures and try to escape from the sausage factory before the big mouth chomps you up at the end. All great fun.
£8.99 NOW £3 70449 BIG PANTS, BURPY
AND BUMFACE by Russell Ash
Here is a book all about strange names but what makes this one special is that they are all real! We can bet you have never met anyone with names like
Grasshopper or Cabbagestalk or full names like Oofty Goofty Bowman, Goolsby Scroggins, Pincus Elephant or Minnie Fart, but they have all
existed. When Wild Rose married a Mr Bull she became Wild Bull and when Truly Gold married Cary Boring she became Truly Boring! Big Pants was a member of the Sioux tribe at the time of the 1886 Indian census. Weird and wonderful names, incredible insults, curious creatures, bizarre bodies, dotty diseases, freaky food, comical clothing, mind-boggling music and more weird
e-mail:
orders@bibliophilebooks.com
and wonderful names are listed in a silly book to dip into time and again. Suit ages nine and up. 320pp in paperback.
£4.99 NOW £2.25
70453 THE BROONS OOR WULLIE SUMMER ANNUAL by D. C. Thomson
Featuring a set of colour playing cards, fun stickers and family puzzles, here is a big cartoon book to celebrate 75 years of summer holiday fun with the Broons and Oor Wullie. These comic strips first appeared in the Sunday Post newspaper on March 8th 1936. Their popularity was instant and long lasting, both strips having been ever-present since that time. The language of the stories is a broad Scottish dialect, unique to these cartoons. Join The Broons at the beach and go with them to their But An’ Ben, hideaway holiday cottage. Very large softback pages with cartoon strips throughout. £5.99 NOW £3
70691 AN ENGLISHMAN, AN IRISHMAN AND A
SCOTSMAN by Nick Harris A mammoth compendium of the best jokes, gags and one liners on a whole range of subjects - the battle of the sexes, cannibals, children, doctors, drunks, music, religion, sport and working life. If you can’t find a good laugh here, then I’m a Dutchman. Plus the classic subjects
of mother-in-law, actress/bishop and the downright surreal and stupid like ‘Yo momma’s so stupid she didn’t even pass her blood test’ etc. 416pp in paperback. £7.99 NOW £3
70643 GRUMPY OLD GITS
GUIDE TO LIFE by Geoff Tibballs
Are you unable to see the funny side of life or walk on the sunny side of the street? Is your cup permanently half empty instead of half full? Do all your walls crumble at the first sight of a screw and are you the sort of person whose paintbrushes moult with each stroke, leaving stray hairs on your newly painted doors? Have you
ever whined because you stood, in your bare feet, on an upturned electric plug? Then, sorry, but we have you diagnosed as a Grumpy Old Git. They come in all shapes and sizes, and many of them are not all that old. It is just the grouchy gloom and sardonic ‘Typical!’ grimace that really sets them apart. But what makes a GOG tick? What is it about life, if you can call it living, that stabs so at his heart? Here, a true Grump has penned a fitting tribute to his brothers-in-gloom. If you fit into the foregoing description, or even if you have sympathy for GOGs, then this is the book for you. 192 hilarious pages.
£9.99 NOW £4.50 70223 EASY AS PI: The Countless Ways We
Use Numbers Every Day by Jamie Buchan Do not panic at the title. The author is not a mathematician, just an interested amateur who has done everything possible to make his book interesting and amusing. Zooming from zero to infinity via Amazonian tribes, drug culture and nuclear paranoia, he investigates the derivation of numerical expressions and their inescapable influence on our culture, from alarm clocks to cell phones. En route, he skilfully answers such puzzling questions as: What makes ‘cloud nine’ and ‘seventh heaven’ so blissful? Why is number 7 so lucky and
www.bibliophilebooks.com 70216 YOU MUST REMEMBER THESE: Favourite
Songs of the Century 3CDs On the Good Ship Lollipop, Fascinating Rhythm and My Way are some of the 20 tracks on CD1 entitled Happy Days are Here
Again. CD2 is entitled The Loveliest Night of the Year and includes Englebert Humperdink with Moonlight Becomes You, Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head (B. J. Thomas) and My Heart Belongs to Daddy (Rosemary Clooney), Spanish Eyes (Placido Domingo) and Don’t Cry for Me Argentina (Elaine Paige). The third and final compact disc is entitled Thank You for the Music and includes performances by Max Bygraves, the Brotherhood of Man, Sandie Shaw with Scarborough Fair and Anita Harris with Walk On By. Each CD contains 20 tracks. ONLY £4.50
HOW TO…
It’s not wise to violate the rules until you know how to observe them.
- T. S. Eliot 70516 IN THE WARDROBE:
WI Practical Know-how ‘Without discipline the Army would just be a bunch of guys wearing the same colour clothing.’ - Frank Burns in M*A*S*H. Is your wardrobe organised by colour or in ready-to- wear outfits? A mixture of co- ordinating tops and bottoms or a complete mishmash with things you don’t even remember buying? Does
anything still fit? Does your heart sink as you read this? Our illuminating Women’s Institute little book guides you through the secrets of organising and caring for your clothes as well as creating the perfect wardrobe for any occasion. With fun accompanying quotes and decorative illustrations and fab hints like using citrus peel or bicarb of soda in shoes overnight to refresh them, how to polish leather handbags, treat stains, repair buttons and more. Would make a pretty gift book. 96pp in softback. £6.99 NOW £2.50
68941 50 WAYS TO SAVE WATER AND ENERGY by Sian Berry
Water and energy are the most precious resources in the world. Getting a new showerhead, sorting out your
taps, getting the right cistern, reusing water, steaming, creating a living roof with mosses, reusing and recycling, saving energy as you cook, appliances and buying greener electricity can all help to save you money as well as the environment. Resources. 128pp in paperback with colour illus. £5.99 NOW £2.25
70107 MARY ROSE’S 1001 COUNTRY HOUSEHOLD HINTS
by Mary Rose Quigg Page 110 is one of our favourites entitled Lemon is the Answer. Keep rheumatism at bay - drink plenty of lemonade without sugar. A throbbing headache is relieved by rubbing the temples and forehead with a slice of lemon. The juice of the lemon mixed with strong coffee usually cures biliousness. Reduce weight by taking the juice of a lemon in hot water every morning before breakfast. From painting a
wall to removing red wine stains, from relieving insomnia to making perfect pastry every time, Mary Rose Quigg gives us heaps of sayings, proverbs and poems gathered together over many years by a country housewife and mother of five. Hundreds of time and money saving ideas with tips on cookery, needlework, decorating, gardening and more. 128pp. £9.95 NOW £2.50
69093 LOOK AFTER THE PENNIES by Tess Read
The advent of the Internet is giving us, the consumer, more and more opportunities to compare prices and get together to pool resources. Here are holidays on the cheap, cleaning your home, how to save money on your everyday travel, how to get the best for less in health and beauty, organise a dream wedding on a tiny budget and saving money without compromising feelings at a funeral. Plus getting cashback deals on the high street, house rental savings, debt management, and much more. 224pp in paperback. £5.99 NOW £2
67930 YOUR EVENING CLASS: Complimentary Therapies
by Denise Whichello Brown Aromatherapy, Indian Head Massage, Hand Reflexology, Foot Reflexology, Massage, Crystal Therapy, Relaxation Techniques, Alexander Technique, Eating for Health, Bach Flower Remedies - a whole new range of skills are literally at your fingertips and a year’s worth of learning for less than the price of a class! This magnificent box set includes ten workbooks, one DVD
packed with audio and video, and a 224 page softback of essential information. There is also exclusive access to a dynamic online community of fellow learners with additional exercises and answers to common questions. £49.99 NOW £4
70028 FILMING ON A MICROBUDGET by Paul Hardy
In this new, revised and updated pocket essential classic, we discover that the most important thing is you, the filmmaker. Here is everything you need to know to put together a short film production from scripting, planning and casting through location-scouting, shooting and editing, digital and HD and distribution. Not forgetting storyboarding and shotlisting, scheduling, crewing, props, costumes and make-up, budgeting, precautions, camera and lighting, sound recording, music, sound editing and mixing and mastering. 318pp in illustrated paperback with clear headers. £6.99 NOW £3
69050 PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR: A
Celebrity Party Planner’s Tips by Jes Gordon and Jessica Baumgardner A party planner extraordinaire who has helmed events for the likes of Madonna, Barbra Streisand, Nicolas Cage and Jennifer Lopez. Here are details of how to budget from a small soirée to a big bash, stocking a home bar and whipping up smart cocktails, whetting guests’ appetites - with insider secrets from top chefs - and being a flawless host, or guest. There are etiquette guidelines and gift ideas and tips on how to produce a party from beginning to end, using colourful case studies. 220 large pages with colour plates and glossary. £12.99 NOW £1.25
70110 HOW TO CLEAN ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING by Barty Phillips
In the last half century we have been bombarded with advertising and innumerable household chemicals to make things brighter, whiter, shinier and more hygienic, but often they are not good for the environment and not good for us. Here are three ways of cleaning: the ‘right’ way, the ‘lazy’ way and
the ‘green or environmentally friendly’ way. Covering floors, surfaces and windows, stain removal, delicate fabrics, silver, furniture, pests and jewellery, it is an A-Z listing of everything you could wish to scrub, soak or sponge along with specific information on how to get anything clean again with sparkling results and not too much effort and without the need for expensive products. 213pp in paperback. £7.99 NOW £3
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