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ON THE FLOOR Ahoy Ahoy! Boisterous beats in the bodacious Bahamas on Groove Cruise


GROOVE CRUISE, THE BAHAMAS


“GOOD MORNING, Groove Cruisers! We’ve arrived in sunny Bahamas, so it’s time to wake up, shake off that hangover, get sexy and head to the beach!” sings out a far-too-chipper voice over the ship’s Tannoy system. British festivals have got us used to waking up in the sweltering heat of a tent or wading knee-deep in mud, but the 10th offi cial Groove Cruise around the Caribbean is a much more civilised affair. Selling itself as The World’s Largest Floating Festival, this party has all the comforts of a cruise ship, a destination complete with white sands and clear blue sea, and amazing world famous DJs — all without a single chemical toilet in sight.


Our home for the weekend is awesome in every sense. Waiting to board, 12 fl oors of cruise liner tower above us. On board this baby are two clubs, an open-air pool, hot tubs, a casino, a spa, 24-hour dining (with a constant supply of dangerously delicious, sweet, sticky BBQ ribs) and a basketball court… We scrap that preconception that cruises are for OAPs and promenades down the portside. It’s mid-January, a humble 27°C and we’re on a boat with headliners Roger Sanchez, Sander Van Doorn and Funkagenda… we’ve found heaven in a hunk of 77,104 tons of metal on the Atlantic Ocean...


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