11 ≥ Twitter queen Grace Dent and Mr Porter’s Jeremy Langmead put the boot on I


HEELS COMPLETE ME


’m nothing without high heels – half a woman, in fact. In a pair of 120mm jewel-studded Giuseppe Zanottis, I’m feisty, statuesque, sleek of calf, long of limb and wholly invincible. I say ‘wholly’. One small hiccup in skyscraping Louboutins and I could feasibly be lying beside the maître d’s desk displaying my underwear to dismayed diners, but then, my shoes are not made for walking. The shoes I love are made for non- mobile ‘being’ or ‘existing’ scenarios. Like sitting on a bar stool sipping a Negroni while an editor


pulls his hair out waiting for copy, or looming into boardrooms like Catwoman in a bid to get a pay rise. Heels complete me in these situations. I’ve tried the above in a pair of Gucci fl ats, all piffl ing fi ve foot four of me, and fi nd it much harder to exude ‘fabulous’ when I feel like Homily Clock out of The Borrowers. Following fashion’s whims frankly exhausts me. When


I look in the mirror, all I want is to achieve stylish and hopefully a little bit sexy. Give me a frock in dark colours that I can sling on with some perilously high Alexander McQueens and I’m ready to go. I’ve wasted enough hours in my lifetime staring wobble-lipped at high street windows muttering ‘OK, so it’s neon matador jackets, satin cargo pants and jelly shoes this season is it?’ to know that what suits my fi gure is a well-cut black pencil skirt and Oscar de la Renta pumps. Heels are sometimes the only thing anyone notices


anyway. On BBC1’s Film 2011 recently, I’d spent 24 hours cramming facts, fi gures and theories for a six-minute live chat. As I walked off set to my car I checked Twitter to fi nd 97 tweets about my raspberry red velvet heels. Not one single thought was proff ered about my critique of the director Errol Morris. Those damn heels had managed to give me blisters walking the few steps from make-up chair to sofa, but according to the Twitterati, they’d been so worth it.


What makes Grace smile? ‘Watching my lazy cats sitting indoors shouting furiously at birds outside they can’t be bothered to chase makes me smile every single day.’


ON YOUR TOES, GENTS T


here are two items a gentleman should always invest in: underwear and shoes. You never know who might see the


former; and you can guarantee that everyone will see the latter. If you don’t believe me, ask Tamara Mellon, the founder of Jimmy Choo, who says it’s the fi rst thing women notice. ‘We judge a man by his shoes,’ she says. ‘Good shoes make him so much more attractive.’ Thankfully, it seems a lot of men have made


the connection. As editor-in-chief of mrporter. com, I know that shoes are our biggest selling category. And rules today are few and far between. As long as they’re good quality (and not grey slip-ons with a logo buckle), you can’t really go wrong. ‘No brown in town’ is no longer adhered to, while numerous stylish men now happily pair sneakers with suits (a look Sir Paul McCartney has been championing for years). However, there are a few essential shoes that


every man should have in his wardrobe and so, for this spring, here’s what I would recommend:


1. John Lobb black loafers These exquisitely crafted shoes are a true investment piece and they look as good with a suit as they do a pair of jeans. £680 from mrporter.com


2. O’Keeff e brown monk-straps These handmade Italian/Irish shoes, built in small batches, are ones to covet. £445 from 43hostem.co.uk


3. Deck shoes Great with jeans and shorts, and easy to slip on and kick off again. Our favourites are these colourful collaborations between hip LA brand Band of Outsiders and Sperry Top-Sider. £140 frommrporter.com


4. Converse Jack Purcells Worn by everyone from James Dean to Steve McQueen, they look perfect teamed with chinos. £44.99 fromoffi ce.co.uk


5. Raf Simons lace-ups with chain detail Smart, stylish and a teeny bit bling (but in a good way), these are statement shoes that will certainly make an impression. £815 from mrporter.com


What makes Jeremy smile? ‘Pay days and dirty martinis.’


>The average British woman spends 94 hours and 55 minutes in supermarkets every year. Shop with Ocado and you could save an awful lot of shoe leather... <


PHOTOGRAPHY: XAVIER YOUNG


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