PSHE


Stopping abusive relationships


The Home Office has this month launched a campaign to


promote healthy teenage relationships. Minister for equalities Lynne Featherstone explains


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LTHOUGH TEENAGE romances can often be short lived, we know that sometimes, they can be just as intense and important as adult relationships. In extreme cases they can also fall foul of the same pitfalls and dangers. That is why, as


a teacher, you have an important role to play in helping young people to develop healthy relationships and offering support when things go wrong. Sadly, abuse is surprisingly common in teenage


intimate relationships with 75 per cent of girls and half of boys reporting that they have experienced some form of emotional abuse in a relationship, and 25 per cent of girls and 18 per cent of boys reporting that they have experienced some form of physical abuse. This month, the government has launched the second


phase of the Teenage Relationship Abuse Campaign. It aims to raise awareness of relationship abuse among teenagers and help them to recognise abusive behaviour at an early stage before it escalates to physical violence. The point is to encourage them to seek help and show them where to go for advice if they need it. Last year, during the first phase, we made great


strides in engaging young people and changing their attitudes, and we want to deliver the same results again. But we need your help. Abuse in teenage relationships is an issue that few


people talk about or even recognise. This needs to change. Although the figures collected through research show a staggeringly high number of teenagers suffer in abusive relationships, the number of incidents recorded by the police and support workers are incredibly low. By bringing it out in the open and talking more


candidly about it we can help teenagers to feel confident enough to challenge abusive behaviour when they experience it or see it. Delving a little deeper, it is easy to see why young


people are not seeking help and reporting abusive behaviour in their relationships. Many young people just do not recognise behaviour that you and I see as unacceptable as abuse. Physical


SecEd • September 15 2011


intimidation such as pushing and “grabbing” is rarely seen as wrong. Aggression is often excused or blamed on the actions of others, but we need to challenge these attitudes. A lot of teenagers can find it difficult to distinguish


between caring behaviour and controlling behaviour. For example, it could feel flattering to constantly receive texts and calls from their partner. It could also seem loving for a partner to question them about everything they do. However, we know that this is not acceptable and


it is important for us to alert teenagers to the fact that this type of behaviour can be controlling and can lead to more extreme forms of abuse if left unchallenged. Another reason for low reporting is that some


young girls see themselves to blame for the abuse they experience. However, we need them to understand that there is never an excuse for abusive behaviour and they are not to blame. For others, particularly young people from


disadvantaged backgrounds, the abusive behaviour can seem normal because friends or family have had similar experiences. It is important that we help young people to develop healthy relationships and make it clear that an abusive relationship is not normal and never acceptable. But sadly, even when a young person does recognise


that their relationship is abusive they often do not tell anyone because they do not know who to talk to. We need them to know that they can talk to teachers or the pastoral staff within your school; to the range of charities who exist to support young people; and to their peers. Our messages for teenagers are simple and need to be repeated and reinforced whenever it seems right to do so: • Abuse in relationships is not normal or acceptable – if you are in an abusive relationship, it is not your fault and you should not stand for it.


• Abuse is not just physical – emotional abuse is just as important. For example, if you are told what to wear, who you can talk to, and who you can see, or are being constantly criticised, this is a form of abuse.


• Abuse is never okay – blaming it on jealousy or alcohol is not acceptable.


• Help is available – if you need support to get out of an abusive relationship, or want to know how to help a friend, visit our dedicated website (see further information).


I would like to ask for your help to get these important


messages out to young people and complement the wider work we are doing with charities and youth groups. By opening a discussion with your pupils about what constitutes abuse and violence in relationships you could encourage young people to challenge abuse when they see it and to speak out if they are suffering in an abusive relationship. It is important that teenagers grow up knowing what


a healthy relationship should be like and we all have a part to play in making sure they do.


SecEd • Lynne Featherstone is minister for equalities. 15 EDUCATION IN Further information


To find out more about the Home Office campaign, visit http://thisisabuse.direct.gov.uk/ You can download the free teaching guide, posters and other campaign materials at www.homeoffice.


gov.uk/crime/violence-against-women-girls/teenage- relationship-abuse and to order hard copies of campaign materials, including a DVD containing the television adverts, contact the order line on 0870 241 4680 (the teaching guide is only available to download online).


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