Business executive • MAY 11
2. Keep focused on the goal and notice opportunities Once you have set your goal, a part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS) gets going. It starts to bring to your attention opportunities that will help you move towards your goal.
3. Take action Once you’ve noticed the opportunities, then you need to take action on them. Sometimes these opportunities will take you out of your comfort zone.
4. When you’re not getting the results you want – take different actions Pay attention to the results you’re getting. If things start to turn out badly, go back to the thoughts and actions you were taking. Were they truly in alignment with your goal? Check if any were based on fear. Fear is a negative thought pattern and actions based on this often sabotage success.
5. Don’t let past emotions cloud current thinking Don’t let painful emotions from past events affect your current thoughts and actions. Emotions from the past are the quickest way to cloud your thinking, and lead you to take poor decisions, and actions. Most people make the mistake of simply suppressing or expressing emotions. Instead find a way to release them. This is essential for thinking clearly.
6. Bounce back quickly from setbacks When aiming for success you will fail at times. Successful people fail as often as unsuccessful people: the difference is that successful people bounce back and keep going.
how to DeAL with setBAcks Setbacks are inevitable; the trick is to know how to recover from them quickly. When you have a setback you get a rush of thoughts and emotions, you try everything to stop them but they keep flooding in. How do you get back into the good space again? What not to do when trying to recover from setbacks: Don’t blame others. It might make you feel a little better in the short term, but long term it’s damaging to relationships and doesn’t solve the problem; Don’t blame yourself. It will just make you feel bad and damage your self esteem, and Don’t try to numb out. You know what I’m talking about. Eating chocolate, having a drink because “you’ve had an awful day”, watching TV or surfing the internet. It distracts you but doesn’t solve the problem.
five stePs to RecoveR fRom setBAcks This simple five-step process enables you to recover easily from any set back. 1. Give yourself some time to really feel what you feel. We get socialised to block out and numb our emotions. We pretend not to feel them so we don’t give ourselves time to feel our disappointment, upset, anger or whatever the emotion is labelled. Take some time out and really allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don’t try to block it or stop it, just feel it.
2. Remember, all setbacks are there to help you learn and grow. As the emotions start to ease off, start to ask yourself some questions that will empower you, like:
successful people fail as often as unsuccessful people... [but] successful people bounce back and keep going
What could I do differently next time? How can I change this? What do I need to learn from this? How can I grow bigger than this problem? Everything that happens has its root cause somewhere in the past. It might be a thought a word or an action. Ask the right questions and you can move away from being “problem focused”.
3. Feel OK, no matter what is going on. 4. Develop a sense of trust that all is well. Nothing is ever lost – it just gets moved around – so you never really lose anything. It will come back to you. You will recover. Don’t think about things in terms of “mistakes”. Imagine that nothing is a mistake, that everything is unfolding perfectly. Ask yourself “What if this was the best thing that ever happened to me? What would a likely outcome have to be for that to be true?” Even if that doesn’t happen, just thinking it will make you feel better and get you to think in a positive way.
5. Find the hidden opportunity; opportunity usually comes disguised as a setback. Dig a bit deeper and find the hidden opportunity. If you do this you will be one of the rare people who do so – and those rare people end up being the successful ones.
6. Consider doing some personal development work to improve your emotional resilience. Just like exercising to improve your body, you can improve your emotional and mental strength. For example: coaching is specifically designed to move people forward in all ways.
thRee DAngeRs to AvoiD Positive thinking is really important but when used incorrectly it can be really damaging to your success. 1. Beware of positive thinking preventing you from taking action. If you are so convinced that everything will turn out perfectly, you might be tempted to think that you don’t’ need to do anything and take no action. Taking no action is a fast way to failure that no amount of positive thinking can overcome.
2. Don’t use positive thinking to mask problems that need attention. Imagine a car is low on fuel and the fuel light comes on. Putting a smiley sticker over the light, doesn’t fill the tank with fuel. Whether the “light” is a negative emotion that needs to be released, a limiting belief that needs to be eliminated, or some action that needs to be taken, positive thinking isn’t necessarily the answer.
3. Don’t try to use positive thinking to release emotions from past traumas and events. Negative thinking nearly always stems from past emotional pain, which hangs around in your mind. It is unresolved negative emotion. You can tell if you have any with a simple question: do you have a memory from the past, which as you think about it now triggers a painful emotion? If you do, then you have unresolved emotion that needs to be released.
Find out more from:
www.psycademy.co.uk/ emotional-resillience/
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