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Kayaks and Commitment M
arriage is a huge commitment. You meet someone, fall in love, and then you spend
the rest of your life working hard to stay in love. It can be difficult, but certainly worth it. Another of my life’s greatest commitments is
the roof over my head. Tis one made with my friendly neighbourhood financial institution. Ten there is kayaking, my second love. It
seems too simple at first, simply floating on the water’s surface. What’s the big commitment, you ask? Kayaking isn’t as simple as, let’s say, cycling.
Cyclists simply strap on helmets, grab water bottles, hop on their bikes and go. Even sim- pler than this is hiking. Tie up shoes, grab a water bottle and go. No fuss, no muss, no real planning, no need to exchange vows of life- long love. On a first date, kayaking seems this simple
and noncommittal. After the first kiss, kayak- ing gets serious real quick, followed shortly by the guest list, the hall, the church, the caterers, the ceremony, and the honeymoon. Metaphor- ically speaking, the guests are your new pad-
dling buddies, the church is the water, caterers is the food prep, and the honeymoon is the cir- cumnavigation of some island. Te ceremony is a little more complicated;
one should refer to dozens of books on the topic, or seek professional help. Some of the rituals include getting rid of those old foam blocks and attaching fancy roller cradles to your aftermarket roof bars—no factory racks for your new sweetie. Oh yeah, she’ll need you to rearrange all your crap in the garage; she’s moving in with all her stuff. Ten there’s ty- ing the knot (in this case, the trucker’s hitch)…
Better get some counselling, like a few paddling lessons or rolling clinics.
check those knots! Off you go with your paddle (left and right
ends), don’t forget to make sure the whistle is still attached to your PFD, don’t forget your PFD, and pump, and paddle float, throw bag,
I PROMISE TO LOVE AND CHERISH YOU THROUGH WHATEVER LIFE MAY BRING US
and spray deck, topo, flares, GPS, VHS radio. Starting to get the picture? Commitment. Now back inside the house to get dressed.
Wrestle yourself into a neoprene farmer John, squeeze your feet into clammy neoprene socks. Don’t forget a fleece top, dry pants, dry top, booties, gloves, rain hat, sun hat, sunscreen, etcetera, etcetera. Is this really worth it? You’re getting cold feet. Better get some counselling, like a few paddling lessons or rolling clinics. Oh, I almost forgot… the water bottle. All of this planning and all of this effort for
what amounts to only a few quiet hours on the water. I often spend more time getting ready to kayak than I do actually kayaking. So why don’t I just break it off and go hik-
ing? Well, just like my marriage (love you Honey) and my home, I know that I’ll only look back on the fond memories and I won’t remember any of the hard work.
LORENZO DEL BIANCO is an artist, illustrator and kay- aker from Burlington, Ontario, who’s not afraid of commitments, except maybe a real job.
www.adventurekayakmag.com 21
ILLUSTRATAION: LORENZO DEL BIANCO
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