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Falling in Love with
Silent Sir
by Abbey Smith
As I stood under the start holds of silent sir, for the fourth time that day, I felt
the passionate rage to send surge throughout my veins. I breathed deep into my
swollen, trembling hands and tried to erase the previous attempts from my mind.
With the cold desert winds pushing against my back as a whisper of assurance,
I breezed through the first six extremely technical moves and tightened my grip
into the awkward crux position. I paused to stare down the knob-shaped crux
hold as if the door was wide open, and thrutched with precision. As soon as
I realized I was still on, moving off intuition, my heel popped and I was on the
ground. I was in disbelief, but had felt the kiss of success.
When I find that perfect line it feels like unexpectedly jumping into a serious
relationship—one that requires commitment, patience, passion and acceptance.
sometimes I don’t even realize it’s happening, until it’s time to go and I can’t tear
myself away. the first time I laid my eyes upon silent sir, perched atop Hueco
tanks’ North Mountain, I instantly fell in love. silent sir’s delicate complexity is
my object of syenite porphyry perfection. the pristine, chalkless line gracefully
transitions from a seven-move technical sequence into the mental crux: a 20-foot
face on solid, in-cut edges to a straightforward mantle top out. I’m intoxicated by
the attraction, the challenge, the torture, and the bliss. My dreams are filled with
casual sends under sunny, clear blue skies, but in reality it’s a lot more work than
originally negotiated. I can’t fake it. I have to dig deep and try hard. sometimes I
wish I had never laid eyes on such beauty. But now I’m committed.
Falling in love is never easy, but life without pain is without passion.
Likewise, when trying something at my limit, it’s easy to feel betrayed, defeated
and make excuses, but ultimately it’s about confronting the dark side—fear, self-
doubt, and self-inflicted pressure of expectation. the send occurs when I finally
rip down the curtain, bare my naked feelings, and transcend to that weightless
moment, where time stops for an instant.
My time in Hueco tanks was running out and I knew I had one last chance
to sever my ties with silent sir. I couldn’t possibly leave without a final farewell.
When I awoke to 60-degree temps and sapphire skies, I knew the day had
come. Like in my dreams, my crew was there for support. As the strong winds
swept from the desert sea below, I finally let go of the agonizing internal
restlessness and moved weightlessly to the top. From that fleeting moment of
success, I’ve been instilled with confidence, inspiration and absolute fulfillment,
and can finally move on having felt that pure love.
Marmot athlete Abbey Smith spends every winter season climbing, guiding, and
writing in Hueco Tanks State Park & Historical Site, El, Paso, Texas.
Quick Drying
Wicking
Odor Resistant
4 SPRING/SUMMER 2010