AN INDEPENDENT REMEMBERS


“BANKNOTES OR BROWNIE POINTS?”


Profitable power tools, lawnmowers for Christmas, and doing whatever it takes to meet customer demand; our independent hardwareman takes a step back in time with part 29 of his stories from the shop floor.


T


he Black & Decker promo stock eventually turned up, albeit in dribs and drabs, thus eliminating any


impact on our public. Originally, I’d bought enough to make a large, impressive display but it seemed as if the wholesaler had cashflow problems. Afterwards we discovered that this was, in fact, the case and a couple of years later it went into liquidation. My boss had been correct about the


profit margins, which were further reduced when purchases were made by credit card. However, I refused to lower myself to the level of the advertisers in the various camera and photographic magazines that I


read back then, who imposed


surcharges for card payments. This wasn’t what credit card use was all about, and I’m sorry to say that such unhealthy preoccupations with percentage, as opposed to revenue,


“I’d developed a knack for knowing where to buy stuff at other shops, and got back just in time to present the long-awaited item to our customer”


continued until only recently, when such surcharges became illegal. In pricing up B&D items, even


I struggled to realise any sense of meaningful mark-up and, if it got any worse, the boss would surely order me to chuck it all out. But we did learn how to be flexible, like when one customer wanted a new


18 DIY WEEK 09 NOVEMBER 2018


drill but didn’t want the free saw attachment, so I took out the saw and knocked a fiver off. Elsewhere, such as Woolworths, he’d have had to pay the same price for the drill alone that we were selling the kit for, so he was happy. I then sold the saw attachment at full price (these were never discounted) and then I was happy too. When I showed my boss the figures, he was ecstatic. Overall, with associated sales of drill bits, plugs, sandpaper, filler, and so on, there was indeed money to be made from power tools.


Mowing profits One day Linda the B&D rep phoned. I suspected she was on a sales drive and needed to get some orders in. But it was lawnmowers she was flogging. What – in October? “Oh, yes,” she said, without hesitation. “Now’s the time to buy garden products in for next season, when all the best discounts are available.” I’ll tell you that I felt a bit of a twit buying mowers so late in the year but, when she offered to swing some extended payment times, I went for it. With any luck, someone would buy one for a Christmas present. But I wasn’t happy. I mean, I knew nothing about lawnmowers. I’d been cutting my own lawn with a Black & Decker strimmer that I’d bought years before from Woolworths (remember the TV ad – a steady buzzing and the whispering chant “Black&Decker–Black&Decker– Black&Decker–Black&Decker …), when I didn’t know the difference between a cylinder blade and a cylinder jacket. I thought lawn stripes were painted on by people with too much time on their hands. So, when the mowers arrived – which was a damn sight faster than our initial order of drills – I didn’t assemble any of them and simply


plonked the boxes in the window. 10 minutes later a bloke came in and bought the first one. We had broken into the mower market, a whole new line that would be a major seller for us over the next 15 years.


Warehouse blues The more stock we could fit into the shop, the more we were expected to house. But, of course, we couldn’t keep everything, and I hated when customers asked for an item and I was hit with the realisation that we should indeed have it in stock, our credibility slithering away as fast as our cash when bank charges were applied. Occasionally, I fall foul of my in


own faith suppliers when,


having assured someone that we would have their specially-ordered item delivered by a certain time, the damned thing simply didn’t materialise. “But you said it would be here by now,” they screeched, going on to claim how their day was now ruined, their plans foiled and their life expectancy reduced. I’m not making fun of them, and I did sympathise, but some did pile it on a bit. You’ll remember that I’ve made damning reports about the high


street pirates who shamelessly plundered our customer base – institutions such as Woolworths, the Co-op, the supermarkets, and some of


the independents who should have kept their snecks out of our product ranges? But, if you just come a little closer…


I have to admit that on occasions these jolly Rogers did come in handy. Whenever a customer’s item hadn’t arrived, I made a quick calculation: profit or reputation. Put another way: banknotes or Brownie points. Could I get away with asking if they could return in a few minutes? I had to judge their level of patience and get it right.


So it wasn’t unknown for me to exit out back, climb over the butchers’ toilet roof (whether occupied or not), over the wall, down onto the shoe shop’s bins, along the alley and onto the street. I’d developed an uncanny knack for knowing where to buy stuff at other shops, and invariably got back just in time and able to present the long-awaited item to our customer, who would ask why I was so out of breath. “Well,” I’d gasp, “it’s a long way to the back of the warehouse.” Come on, surely I’m not the only shopkeeper to have done this?


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