•V


1 I"' •‘‘i ' «* , ,


'


I,, w


.r-,« V ;'". ‘


M E G L ITHE BO E T IM B S ,


Ipcct Mr. Har^ |:i m >every ,nan I'Odb caused him


health A£D h om e . '


|>d- Isven a man, llueiice of aji im,


]-‘y <^V>se evil, ini


II preferned good. ■ |triuli seeker. i-eker after tr>:i;‘ .


IctiL if he did not ' ■ I he choir mu:


|blo leadership of ■ appreciated. Tq


It the everin" “Q 'b' Immel) Miss Top. '


I' solo. The aher Itotil.”


.


in the afternoon well in advance £ s. d.


. cf) 9 4/= t‘


lO^ IS a S I


■ 54 9 5)e ■


I.. w GORDON STABLES, M.D., B.N., ( ‘•SicknoM and Health," “ Tho Poopla’g Game to Health," “ The W lf .’. Quid,


io DMltb and Happmoss,” &c., *o. death on th e door-m a t.


... the door-mat U a capital sensational L a i»raLT.nph. But I’m not looking a t ndnt ot view. It it ia ono which will


it fro® “r L...„ llicktothel


tlMi ple.ised. iicilble reader.


liouseholdcr’s memory I shall bo more And I hCR to aisuro you, dear tli.at the door-mat, if not treated should be, and properly and


“ niv cleaned, hccomca a liotbcd for any sort ( tious disease that may bo anywhdre in the


o f P e o p l


j,ighbourhood. “‘t r o t nasty ways. Tlioy spit upon it,


1 oTcr ift , dr.


t“ ,, I fteit boot-soles ,


e are not content to wipe useful article, but they treat


'^'°h rson it, kick it sometimes, or stumble ipill tmng


Infection® grime Irtia the pavemems,


poisonous dust to Boat in tho


come from afar, bringing with them on or welts eamplcs of .all the and contagious muck and mud Anyllilng, overj-thing, is


robbed ofl i liofeU find. “".r^ ofl on titc door-mat. and tho'liouac-dog


!™ .r" breed, lie treats i t with oven a greaUr disrespecU


but we m ust ha v e mats. I loppoie so. We must not bring dust in to soil


.V eo^trive.’ pretty carpeU; but tho fact remains r the mat is a recipient of disease germs, and


Lads them unsparingly about. It I say that i t S d be better far for tho people if no carpels,


I ifficnll to Uko up a cjrp't and clean it, whereas ;fl5“ind rugs are easily bundled up «ud taken out


I ol door, to be rea^^ it any


“i O , cc any


:h is as good


Inowing ( r o o d


O ’S H


I S,?tTeaned and dUinfected every day. M o don t ^nunata that give out the strong, evil odours of the roughsr dlainfocUnts; but there are


to be beaten and shaken on a windy day. f bo careful that i t is brushed


.


^iine nreferred. It must bo ornamental also. ^


to make a pile of yellow


S rany into a good family, and live happy Ini ilurwaid..


BREATHINO-SPACE.


miibly as follow. - I t i . one of Uio hopeful and eoolotting signs of tho times that the compreased


Oathii important .ubject a contemporary writes


niit, save on a few women, is rarely acen. ffhelhei it ia tho bicycle or tho fashion that has


TTOtrbt this change, or whether women hare grown nras ieniiblc and aro demanding room to breathe, mturi not. The result is ll.o only thing m which ft ire ctpeciallv interested, and tills is excecsl- Mrl.Touralde’ to liealth, good sense, and the Bmlort o! tlie woman of to-tlaj, and scores a gre.tt ninin Uic prob.ille advancement of generations to loDf. Worarn who, some years ago, had waisU Bntwhat on the hourglass principle arc wearing ditiKj lint gi'-e them a couplo of Inches more belt Btoure than of old, and they look quite as well to the artistic eye, end a thoua.and times better in the rn ot Ibo.e whose opiniona are worOi having, p i t.shions of tile day have, perhaps, made tlio Urte waist possible. Tlic enormous sleeves have hfa objrets of attention in the toilet, ai.d whether th. waist were a fraction or so larger or csillfr rrally did not count. At all erenta, thero Inaore an-ipUtudr, more room to breathe, andmoro ipice for expansion, and women should bo duly lad humbly tiiankful.


nREATniNG-SPACE INDOORS. Thwe who aro looking out for houici, or arO : n . ID PICNIC.


I of tlio mcmU.T.s of ;id to o k i i la c e on


je a ih o r . T h e i<out/J i io u n d , an d iho


i-o v e v ia Ilumle>' W l io n .


I x i iW S . ' ie ty to o k part in


l -n t s e y o n Salurd.ay, b irds . K e su lt .s :—'


o f -Mr. P a rk in so n s


■ ’ Mvei« and Son. o.)o. ■ Windlc and


|U N .m i c m o u i a l - ill. in en io n ' o f thd


is beini^ pDo-'d.


liia.sonrv work bentg ,1 Hros.. lligh.-inh


If N e lso n , w h o P i le u n v e i l in g c cn >


; o n Satu rd a y [,r T h e Whin s. .'If-


| :d co u d en ' | ] , \ 1 , .


I iromolDiVs o f th e ri> lu a th e riJ ig . ll"^ Iness and by otte« ilu lon inemari.-il 'J'lie in e c l in S i he'"' that a CO'bdcH


| . in ap p ro iJn a le , o e - an v s c l iem c u'llcss j 1 s iib sU u ttia l linan-


|e d .


I-CM AT’ SABDEN. m a tch I ic tu e e n ai>


Li I Zing-nri 'Vds


I rm in d ort S.atnrtl--')- l-.ised b y Me.ssrs. J- imcl J. E . Bntaittn.


In s c om p r is ed E ' , . C. D aw so n .


J ‘


l ie n i s t e le v en ’, who. le f t h a n d ed , •ano •


mien. T h e te a n ^ Hoe.-m o f linrnleT


im id E . C r .a ig (M ^ - I te.ini battctl n


^.tal of 83 f . w h o mu stered ^ .


Ktually going to build, ahoiild bo careful that tho Komi are not poky and wee. Tlio larger a room iith« more healthy It is bound to be, tho only etjedion to much indoor space being that such


\ti'l arborfsl curroundings, although it may lack I5S10 of what are caliwi modem improvement.**,


ipirtments seem less cosy, and aro difficult to p nna in winter. 1 myself havo a BUiKTstition i;iinit building .a now house. 1 need not, anyhow, fer tint wbicii I own, with its seini-wihi garden!


hu walls * i;,ljtiTn inclus Uuck,which keep It warm b winUr »nd d<li^ildfully cool in aunimer.^ It lilicallliv. too. which vour ierry-built buildnus Mm un bf*. liui to itiosc wno nrssre to


[ “ ’


I Home of Your Ow*n?" Don’t even buy a bouse I'fbere h*H iho money may remain at interest. All I Ikosc »dvrriii«eiiu‘nth are hk miftlc.T(lln;f na the cllhcScoltifcli Aipunkie. Tliis is a little evil spirit


Iboie advi’rtib'i'mcnls hr.vlctl Why I’ay Uent?^ "I'liT Utp in Apartmonts when You


' . . . . “ U hy };Sd Tribe feet, and noisy.. You see. i t is ao


-....i at all. and lino only were used, I should the objection that oilclotli of any kind


tho cocoanut or Wa slrvn'ft


that have a really pleasant odour, or no Sent S all. Come now, who will atop forward—


13 0 . clerer woman or man—and invent a r ^ ' 'y S« o in e door-mat? Ono that can bo cleaned by


it hands- to cal his greasy bone on ; he dog of^what tho Americana call the


..........


chronic aliments of this nature we mupt look for the cause, and, if possible, remove It. Under


’UAUmma of alcolmli.in, but in


bed often works wonders. The sleep for tlio time kfl


circumstances a hot bath betoro koIiik to and reireBhing, only i t seldom lasto


would bo uipvise. not to say dangerous. Narro’ ics must never bo taken unless prescribed by a doctor.


'"ng. I f thoro be much debility this batli


could prctcribo for a caso of sleeploism'ss wUliout knowing the health-history of the patient and hia namta of life, pood and bad. As an auxiliary, wmie using otiicr means of strongtlieniiig Iho &e^M, such as the morning tu b , masiago of tho Whole body before taking tho bath and after lyinc down may also do a deal of good.


cure, and no m ^ ic a l man I All communications relating to this column sliould


be addressed to Dr. Gtordon Stables, Twyford, llerks.


FACT AICD FANCY. . ONE FOR THE LAWYER,


A man was brought up in rrovisictial


Court on a charge of stealing a sack of flour, and was very severely h^Klled by tilie) prosecuting lawj’cr, whahad once made him­ self notorious by going into bankruptcy, which was the only meane( by which he could escape lits debts. “You admit that you stole tho sack of


flour?” questioned coimsel sternly. “Yes j but I tebk it honestly aiKl in broad


daylight to save my childreiii from st.arva- tion,” pleaded the piisoner. “You call th.Tt honesty, do you?” sneered


tho lawyer. “I call it amazing impudence. Stealing is stfcaling, from whichever point of view you c.'iro to look at i t ” “Just sci, mister, but it don't alius bring


the s,-une punLshment," retorted tho man in tile dock. “For instaiioe, I shouldn't h.ave bl^cn hero now if I'd done as you used to do—bought, or ordered the flour and never paid for’t l” .-Vnd even the magisir.ate chuckled behind


his papers .at the bullying lawyer’s discctn- fiture.


TORTURES OR DROWNING. A medical maji recently made known his


sensations when dragged under ^\'ale^ with a sinking ship. After what appeared to bo TO cr 15 seconds, heavy pressure began to develop cai the chest;, causing great pain. It seemed as if llio victim were in a vice which W.1S screwfed up to the top. Then the pain gradually became less intense as the carbonic gas accumulated in tlic blood, and the dro*\\Tnng man appeared to bo in a pltas- ant dream. He was still conscious enough, however, to be able to think of the friciKls hb \'“as leaving behind; but soon lost coiir sciousness entirely, l>oTore doing so*, all pain had disappeared, and the sensaUons were distinctly pleasant. The man was^;ventual- Iv lescued, and states that tho tortures d"^ dared, both at the cOmmencesment cf thb struggle and during the restorativo proccs.^ are iirtense and that dro’wning is not by aji) mV?ans a pleasant form of death.


b u t THE' VALET DID. “One afternoon/* said a tourist', “ I visiu^


.a- f.amcrti.s English rastlc. Here the guicla i-ook mo through this state chamber


that staUj chaml)cr, and finally, the fairnl) being in Lendon, he led mo to tlic rooms of


the owner himself. “ In ihc oMaier'.s di’cssing-ror/m int-re


isy, MP llat the rooms are largo, and study U>o pUci fuj:;;e8ted for a month at loatt biuoro you dfcijp. Don’t borrow money to tmild it. Turn my your eves from hcliolding ll»o


^ _ can nave a


I *ho, when he fees a bolato<l iravnllrr crossing a 1 CKerlind, kn'ps aUmt a humlretl yard* ahead of bin, wsviii" Ilia wicked wco lantern, until ho


SAVK MONEY. S»T«money to build your house, and to furnish


j il II well. For it is really pleasant to havo a little I bcn«aU one's own, with ne’er a pound of rent to I Dy* After you have laid ajKirt enough casli to I build sod fo buy tho ground and lay out a


I fudea—for you couldn’t exist without that—then, F>d Dot till tiu-n, .ask builders for their plans and 1 «ttimalc8. Hut never make the iniatake of behov*


I MScottifh divine, while on .t walking-tour In lus romantic land, arrived at a villago inn and


I B^t,” roan^l the minister, “ it's a soab tiiat 1 j ^ t—a sn»b, man—a snab ! ”


I itTcicace,” Paid Boniface, “ Ujere is Jock R‘Wereon I


a goilly man and an rider o ’ Iho kirk. IS YOUR HEART WEAK?


If you ever RusjH'ct its being so, i t Is best to get I your heart examine<l by sonio good city doctor of


I peat experience, even if you have to make a I journey to do so. Tlie stelboscopo or lilHo instru-


I Cent which your medicus applies to tlio region of |k»«heart or Ihos^' of the lungs Is an excellent 1 J^vrumeut, cl^an .ind handy, and all that sort of I Ik


luiat Is wh.v, very few fiedgeling doctors possess, I I


1 I- Ilf I.


1 *^’“ ®nd wont to another, who laughed and told as richt as a trivet, and to go home and Which am 1 to believe?” My answer is,


valves weren’t iif’rfect. I


I *^*^'^r.” Ill every great city in tho kingdom aro “ospitals, ami kimlly-hearlcd. wIse-headed *Ren attend thepe, und will willinglv give


nrrdfi nn educated ine<lical ear. And they may try to look lcame<l and give an


^ constantlv finding sentence's like tbo bho letters niy readers semi to me: I heart examined by our club doctor, and


o


I »A J ^ advice for nothing. All vou would havo I tKi» ,


irwA .


I , i^kcar tho worst. Let me remind you onco }kat the }ie.*irt is a muscle, and that if It form it may bo strengthened by


^ rospecUuiiy to »*sk him to tell you your heart, and Umt you would bo


I RiM f ‘lllnC tno Hint lin - I rt-.,


]


ORATEO ,S IT S G A L [


llhow B>'’o some good hints next week. Oh! by P£o


correspondent wrote tome ***'’


Icrwn J k is mi^bl ix)mt lo b yw r iro p h y o f tno ^


Dniount of hnr«l oxorcjso, ariH, more* frator, b u t su b je c t lo p a l iu ia l lo u of


. llel


olleg£\ .•r-iiiteil ftnrxiuUy an»


N T . lion , soereta ry . Ilonixj>’. I*-C.


I


ky a man of years and oxporienco. WANT OF SI.E1-:P.


kiiH, as I bUl joib lo


wo medical journallstA bnvo lo writa and 1 really fpiir wo repent our-


I, J®* sometimes, only as 1 niyw'lf am conslnntly I lug new readers that can hardly bo looked ui>on ^*0 fault of most ktods of Iroatinont


■ • il* , newer. ’Xbia war ba rurbt in auiiU


wc arc too. anxious to treat lo get our patloiits to sleep by any


no waa a I i;;, slroDg fol low,


fsercisG. On this subject I trust to | )0 som** llmo


universal cookery fa __________________ _____ JT^^^Te s t


r ' n L D d r . A N D R E W W l t S O N ^ ^ ^


" CombrWso oe. and I can


tnort "<W««''>''’'’® r-.!-,.™! Lemons,


CH lV B R a^ & ^ .^ 3 0 NS.^^^ V.nOWHU8’ JAM KAOTORY. S i d . p o r


reconimend it os a f t is prepared from


CanibridKoLemonadooannoV--------------ma**® 2 B o t t lo .


” ^ontoins no added odd- .iirnaoscd,


C A M B R I D G E . “ I^S’iwdo.


Albert Hail, April, 19M-


a w a r d . \be"'oold‘^MMtl‘“ to' rS^dlottagulohed ^


I iii£ Uisl a builder is a saint. Make use for a tinio tithe bardvfjeted Aberdoniaii’s motto: “ Take cveiY* body for a rogue until he is proved to be Uio toDlmry." Some jerry-builders go to church. 1 a c t . But there, that is a mere matter of business. An


‘JKluired of the landlord where he could find a tub” (cobbler) to mend hit shoes. “Weel, ycr


a shaving scliof solid gold— gold sh.aving hni-sh, gold cup, gold-mounted strop, and six gold liatvJlerl razors, "\s the guide and I rndved lierc .and


there .a; v.afct, attracted hytho noisii cainc to who we were, .and after he had sat.sl^


himself .about tliis m.atter the v.afct l in ^ d joining m the ccaivcr.s;it:oni noA\-and


^ “ I lingered the gold shavti»g sot cunou.sl>. “ 'Amf do^ die Duke’ I saUl < sh.avfc with


these things regularly r “ The guide shook his hc.ad.


I fetriTeller into lim centre ot a bog, In ■which ho I Kail sad ia lern no more.


I do.’ ” THE T i » v b UNCANNY SEVEN. with Ho did nid.


knwv. But the valet knmv. “ ‘No.’ s.aid tH.- valet, ‘ he doestrl.


IiAUGHTER AS A TONIC. Nowadays, says a -wTitcr iii 'the “World,’ it


between one of jjaper, and for some uncanm- reason it


of tcascn for this j , vorth tho Only the c.\i)*-'rimemer nVust)


mkJ care that dicso on whom tt'tcttls have


c..........xiieriment with s'x fnend.,


would mULuraJK northerly


surprise; on ihj number “.seven


viliath llie experiment i lcm p icd


n '/ ? i .” rime: wai> written.


cxiJen- Tluit A


and, loD his


seems moro thani ever to have become neces­ sary to remind people thab ib is a good thing tci lauglx IC is seldom indeed Uiat one hears itearty and gcnuina lauglilcr. Tlieso ato days when we Uake tilings seriously, and it h.os to ho something very silly that provoki^ wh.4t we call laughter. Si>eaking gcner.ally though, liow m,anyof us hat-e et-eirone good l.augh a day? Wo gladly imhiho qiuarts of tctiic waters, put ourselvPs to mcoi- vemence to take certain kmds of baths, .oiid it^ulge in violent physical


m


order to keep ourselves m good "W k ^ order and dd age at hay, but of thl. ^ erj simplest means td diis end, tluat of laugtang we do* not .avail ourselves, it may he urged


' NOn A- SMOKER. Ap Englishman! and a young HigUamd


gillie had finished their luncheon after a brave mormng’s fislung, and, wth gratitude in his heart, the visitor, lighting a cigarette himself, piassfcd his case to the youth. “Do you smoke, Maclean?” he asked. Shon Maclean) looked at the cigarettes for a moment, and then, taking the lot, hla made answer:— ^


“ Naw. Put m’ faytber does 1” ■ PAT’S QUALIFICATIONS.


Mr. WilUami Harvey has compiled jii good


book of Irish Humour I have seen. HesO is a convKrsation reported as taking place between a village commandant and an Irish applicant:— Commandant: “Do yOu know anything about horses?” Applicant: “And shure, your honour, wasn't I bom in a stable?” Commandant: “Do you know any­ thing about cattle?” Applicant; “It’s me. self would like to know what I don’t know about them.” Commandant: “Can you make a Venetian blind?” Applicant: “It’s a treat, sor, to see me at the job.” Conv- raandant: "How would you dolt?” Appli­ cant : “I’d just poke my fingers through his


eye, sOr.”


WHERE TOTJ CAN BUT THE “ CLITHEROE TIMES.”


The “ Clitheroe Times ” may he oljUai'ned


from the follr/wing agents: — CLITHEROE.


Mr. Hindle, Wcllgate. Mr. Shorrock, Waterloo. Mr. Dawson, Batvdiands. Mr. Woan, Woono Lane. Mr. Hartley, Salford. Mrs. Whewfll, Castle Street. Mrs. Cheesebrough, C.ostle Street. And at tho R.ailway Bcokslall.


LOW MOOR


Mr. Dcm.aine. YDVDDINGTON.


Mr. Stones. WHALLEY.


Mr. Brooks, Bridge End. Mrs. Doan, King Street.


PENDLETON.


Miss H.a.worth, Post Oflice. BARROW.


Mr. Dennett-. CHATBURN.


Messrs. Baldwin and Robinson. DOWNHAM.


Mr. Taylor. RIMINGTON.


Mr. Duckworth, Stopper Lanp. GISBURN.


^^r. Nutter. BOLTON-BY-BOIVL.-VND.


Mr. Dean. SLAIDBURN.


Mrs. Brenn.and. NEWTON.


Miss Calverley. DUNSOP BRIDGE. Ireland. BLACKBURN.


Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr.


Astley. PAD I HAM.


Collinge. s a b d e 'n .


Brotherton.


J G L g 1. 1904<


CYCLE AND MOTOR NOTES.


pBy*< Roadster.”] The weather coMditions during the wi^k-


end were ideal'for cyding and motoring, and,- of course devotieies to -the pasril^ partook to the full of the oppoitunitiea offeined. All the roads around the district were swailmed with the cycling fraternity, and I saw machines varying from the “bdnei- shaker”’ to the A,i. motor car. Probably sclmle cyclisits -will think I am


always findii^ fault, but such is fari from: my intention, what I suggest or find fault tvitb, is intended for the good of other cyclists. Ono thing I -wish to draw the attention, of my readers to is the great danger of riding behind other vehicles fdr I cowstaritly see cyclists riding quite close behind traps, eta Think of tho result if the animal in front took a sudden fancy to stop Dt even back a little. Better, I say, putt up with tho dust flying into your face, or the wind th.an be throtvn into it with, as is ofteni the cask, a- broken limb in the bargain Then .again, some wheelers and practi'eu-


larly young ones just beginning to “go,” very foolishly rids round comers at a terrific speed. Though the toad may be clear the first time they attempt this foolliardy feat tho nest time there may bo something in the road, cf stronger buUd than a bicycle, then what would be the result? Local cyclists and automobilists are liav-


ing a fine time cf it and no mistake, for it is not often iMe are favoured with so much sunshine, and dry roads. Wheelers from others toiviis are also “fleeting about’’ the roads, in fact, all who can muster anything like a bicycle ai(e off for a jaunt, not only in the cool of the evening but, when possi­ ble through the day time. All motor cyclists should make a plan


of invariably carrying two accumulators on tho machine. Two fairly small orfrs will be found superior to one equal'in capacity lo the two conibineil, for, should this run out unexpectedly, there is nothing for it but to pedal tW- cycle, (which is-nc light task for cue who i.s not a son of Samson), to tho nearest likely shop where one m.ay be bor­ rowed, or if the worst h.appens, ignominious- ly feithb r.ailway station,'en route for home. There is considerable outcry just now


against tho high hedges which'obstruct tliC. view at so many of our countiy’ dross ro.ads, .and this .agitation is not without reason), Within the l.asc few months there have been three f.atal accidents directly attributable to this aaustr. A prudent drii’er always slows on approaching a cross road, and few aife so careless .os to turn fitim a side lane into a main rOad without making sure that 'the way in clear. But where two main roads cross, sd that neither Ls superior to thb other, and where the traffic on both is screened by tall hedges imtil the meeting point actu.ally oc­ curs, accidents are very liable to happen, even to experifenced drivers, and not only with motor c.ars, but ivith horse-dratvn vehi­ cles aixl cyclists. Thh Thousand Miles Reliability Trials, as


such, do not prove a greail deal. If '..he cars well-driven by bona-fide amateurs, the results might be worth noting; but when a manu­ facturer enters a car, and pays very heajaly too for the privilege of entering it the public are sufficiently astute 'to conclude llaat tho veliiclb Iws been specially “ tuned up” for the trip, .and tltat the most capable dnver in llic paid employnient of tlie firm is cti- tnistoil with its management In lliii trials tliat took place host autumn there were two cars, pcrliaps the only two, th.at .stood out consi)icuoii.sly among tlicse that ran each dav on the oifa hundred or more miles trip. One of these was tlie“ T.albot,” which h.ad


beat most unjustly disqualifi^ after the first day’s run. atid was, tl^refore, mn im- officially tliroughout tho trials, and duiliig tho whole of that time acccmph.died the journey with. absolutely tw tro^le what­ ever; and the other was thte E ^ u v i l le which, owing to .some iinsuixlerst.uidmg


with the racing comnuttee ur


net extents.


not allowed tlie medal it had ga.niM m Iho Phoenix Park Races, and consequenUy w^^


“


entered for further Automobile C uh its consistent reli.O:-


bilitv it was’also run uncfficially tliroughout tlie taiaJs, and was generously employed in


1C duly gave xvaming netitors. By this means considerably moff-


SLn tlie offidal 1,019 miles was for the oir was kept running up •’’ ''‘I


’


the ro.ad, and did not pu^ue a steady course slnolght ahead; but; m spile of tins,


"


them were.ab!»lutely no description, not so much as ,c sin„le nut


of a firm determination to sco the funny side of, things.


havin|t<j bo tightened during the whole of l ig h t UP:


Tonight ....... ........ 9-18 p-tn- Tomorrow ........... 9" *7 P '” -


h o n e ym o o n f o r o n e . A servant, who had been a long time in


her satuation, recently gave notice Beca*^® slie xvas going to have the banns put up. Her month Iwd almost claps^ when the


girl who was engaged u-rnte to sav th.ot she would he unable to


commence her duties until a forUright Mto


the date her predecessor had hn married. The servant was asked by her mistress wliether she would agree to ix>^- l)ono tlwJ ceremoity, and stay oir that length


of tima “Ch.-ui«e the date, cliange ywir dat)., , r„,.,


ma’am,” answered the girl, “ its like flying in tho face cf Providence to .alter wedding arrangemen'ts, but if Edward is r^iiaeablo, I dorft miml getting mam^ and then come back here for a fortnightl’ .


Tho yoimg man offered no objection, luM .


Kalf .oiii hour after the dcremony the bndo was busy at lier usual duties. "And lias wour husband gone


back to


work, 'tco?’’ asked her misltcss.- ;'Oh, no, ma’am,”- was the proud reply.


“Edward’s gone to Brighton tai his honey­ moon.”


SOME LEGAL PRO’VERES. Lawsuits make the parties barte,- the law­


yers fat— German. 'A lean.' agreement is better than a fat-law- i


suit.— ^Italian. No good lawyer ever goes to law.— Italian.


Unless hell'is full, never tvill a latvyer be


saved.— French. “Virtue in the middle,” ' says tlib _ devil


when seated ’tivixt two! lawyers.— ^Danish. Law’s costly; take a pint and- ’gree.--


Scotch. Laivs grind the poor, and rich men rule the


law.— ^English. THUNDERSTORMS AS “ NECESSARIES OF LIFE.” Few of us realise, says a. tvriter in “The


Treasury,’’ how subtle and complex a thing the weather is, and how beautifully adjusted all the interacting forces of earth,^ air, fire, and water have to bo on the earth’s surface to make it a reasonably habitable place. Even thunderstorms have their necessary uses. Lightning give rise to a chemical action by wliich ammonia is formed from the nitrogen) in the air. This ammonia is dissolvtd by the rain and so soaked in)to the ground. As such it is part cf tho necessary food of plants, either as grain, or vegetables or indirectly as plant-eating animals, it fol­ lows that if theit were no vegetation wo should have no thing to eat, and if there were no ammonia -there would be no vegitatioii) (or at least not eonugh), and if there were no thunderstorms there would be no ammo- Wherefore, if there should never he


any more thunderstorms, life would gradu­ ally become extinct. Q.E.D.! Thunder­ storms are among the necessaries of life.


PROOF POSITIVE. As is generally knotvn, “seamen’s return”


tickets are issued by most railways at seaport towns in England to sailors at reduced rates, but when the other day a somewhat stylishly- dressed young man demanded one at Bournemouth, th)e booking clerk at tho


southern seaport town demurred “Seamen’s returns are only issued to sail­


ors,” he snapped. “Well, I’m a sailor,” was the mply. “I’ve only your w’ord for that,’ said the


clerk. “Hotv am I to know it is correct?’ “How are you to know it?’’ came the an­


swer. “Why, you leather-nieckeil, swivel- eyed son of a sea^ccok, if you feel m> starboard boom running foul of your head­ lights you’ll know I ’ve bei^ doing more than sit cn a stool and bleating all my^ life, and you’ll haul in) your jaw-tackle a bit.’ The station-master had been standing^ by. “Give him a ticket,” ha said. “ Hes a


sailor.” A USE FOR THE NIGHT, BELL.


An interesting description has b^rj gi\en


of-the manner in winch the medical man sizes u p ’m advance the character of the ca.se he is about to be called upon to attend, fieai, the manner in which he is communicatcvl


with by way of liis night bell. It sounds itH right, but heie is a very different .sterj': in the middle of the night net long ago there came a terrific ringing at a London doctor s belt “Who’s there?” he called down his


speaking-tube. In response a voice aame ui> back ask'mg him to come at once to a liou.se a mile and a half distant. He got iq dressed,‘ and went ont with tho man whom he found waiting for him at the doon 1


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FANCY GOODS IN


RPther they walked over to the oil eris rcsi- Jence. The disturber of his slumbers told the doctor that he Itad illness m his homa and would like him to have a look .at the case. When they entered the sick-room ho s.aid. “Now-, please be good enough to lUl me if the case is serious enough for. me to send at onen fer my own doctor.^_or if it will do if I wait until the morning.


THE LEGEND OF THE TWO SACKS. An .ancient legend describes an old man


travelling from place to plaoi with a sack liaiigmg^behind Ms back and airother m


front of liim. In Uie cne behind 1“ " ' tossed 'the kind deeds of his friends, winch were soon quite hidden from view and fore


gotten. In the one hanging moi his neck, under his chin, he threw- all the s'ms wliiclt his acqu.olntances commiticcl,


.and lliesn he was in the( habit of turning over and looking at as ho walked along, day by day, which naturally hindered Ins course. One day, to his surprise ho met a iiuu»


coming sloivly along, also wearuig two sacks.


“What Ivave you here?’’ asked the old m.in. “Why good deeds,’’ rt.-plled numMr too, “ I keep all these before me, micl take them


out and air them frequently. “^Vhat is in the other big sack , iiskca


iho first traveller. ‘“It seems weight). Merely my little mistakes—1 always


keep them on the sack hanging oven GENKRAL INOUBANOE AGENT


'^''presently the too travellers w w Jconetl uy a third, who, stnu^e to say, also earned Uvo sacks-taone imder h’ls chin and one on


his back. “Let us see tho contents cf your sacks,


exclaimed the first two travellers. “With .all my heart,” qouth the str.-uigw.


“For I Inive a goodly assortment. and I likn to shew them. This sack,” s.aid he, i>ointmg to ’the one imdcr his shin, “ is full ot good


deeds of others.” “Your sacks look full. Ihey must be


heavy,” observed the old man. “Theila you arc mistaken, replied the


stranger; “they are big, but not haat-)-. 'The weight is only such as s.ails arc to a‘ shjp. Far from be’mg a burden, it helps me on-


“Well, your sack behind can be of little,


uso to you," said number two, “ for ,it ap- pa.ars to bo empty, and I see th.at it has


a great hole in tlvo bottom of i t ’ ‘T diddliaton purpose,” s.aid the slraiigcr


"for .all the evil I hear of, people I put in


there and it falls through and is lost^ bo, you see I have no weight to :dra\y me back' : wardi”


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TYPEWRITING done on the shortest notice at reasonable terms.


I safe remedy—approved h r lu c Medical ProfcMtbi.


I for a F R E E BoUteaud to try ] h, I abide by the result. A


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TEETH PAINLE SSLY EXTRACTED;


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I : II imn


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I ’" ' ’ .," 'i


‘


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