What do you do to control or manage
it, if anything? Sleep is super important. Confidence is big for me. Pausing is something to my advantage. And I disclose my disfluency before meeting someone new. This helps “break the ice.”
What are the biggest challenges
stuttering has presented to you? People in the broader world still don’t fully understand stuttering. Once, in a Vegas hotel, I approached the front desk and stuttered. The employee laughed and mimicked me. I knew this was pure ignorance. Instead of letting it slide, I went into strong mode—I asked to speak to the manager and explained what had happened. The manager apologized profusely, offering free shows and perks. I declined but made it clear that this employee needed to be educated—people don’t always speak fluently, and that’s just reality.
I have a rule: Anyone is allowed one initial reaction to hearing someone stutter. I get it—ignorance exists. Maybe they’ve never met someone who couldn’t just “get the words out.” But once they know it’s a stutter and they still choose to mock, there’s no kind excuse for that. At that point, they’re just a rude person— and I have no interest in speaking to them anyway.
What is your greatest accomplishment
with regard to stuttering? Not letting it hold me back. Saying what I want to say. That’s the biggest win you can aim at. Being fluent or flowing with your speech is great, but if that comes at the expense of being authentically you and saying exactly what you want to say, then I don’t call that an accomplishment. In fact, it’s the opposite of that.
Based upon your experiences, what would
you like to tell children who stutter? It’s tough. People still don’t understand what it means. “Take your time,” “relax.” People are so very misinformed about stuttering. My advice is to be easy on yourself and try not letting it hold you back from achieving your dreams. And use it to your advantage.
I was once part of an oral school exam where the principal came to test our class as a group. I didn’t know the content very well, so I stuttered extra on purpose so he’d give up and just give me a pass and move. Let me have one great perk!
Based upon your experiences, what would you tell parents of children
who stutter? I’d recommend speaking to SLPs that are not just obsessed with attaining fluency, but figuring out how to make sure their child is being truly himself and saying what he needs to say. And create a home atmosphere where your child can be heard. Also super important to not be too easy on your kid. They’re just like everybody else, but they need an extra moment to get the words out. Give them that space, but don’t pity your child.
What else should we know? When I was dating my now-wife, Lilach, I asked her, “You know stuttering is genetic, right? Our kids might stutter.” She looked at me and said, “Shalom, if they do, they’ll have the best role model in the world—someone who stutters but never lets it hold him back from accomplishing his dreams.” That was super powerful and empowering.
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