freelancing


ejection “


Menezes Cunningham adds that it is also important to remember that it is not personal. “Using this information to help make you better will


increase your resilience and help your career,” she says. “It’s important to honour how you feel and not try to fast forward or repress the pain. Especially if, like so many freelance writers, you’re neurodivergent. Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is one of the most painful elements of ADHD, and the pain doesn’t mean you have to give up on your writing or other dreams.” Caroline Harrap is a freelance journalist, editor and trainer


who’s written for a range of titles, including BBC Travel and The Guardian. She is also a co-director at the Society of Freelance Journalists (https://freelancesoc.org). Harrap says: “As a former commissioning editor, I’ve been on both sides of the fence, and it’s worth remembering they are under pressure from all sides. Also, they are always swamped with emails. “There could be any number of reasons why a pitch doesn’t land and these are often nothing to do with the quality of the idea. Maybe the editor has already commissioned a similar piece. Perhaps they have used up all their budget. Or they may not have even seen your email if they were deluged that day.” You can also turn a ‘no’ into your secret weapon. Harrap explains: “If an editor does take the time to send a rejection, that is, in fact, a win. It may not be the desired outcome but, presumably, they thought the pitch was strong enough to warrant a response. That’s a definite win in our book. “It also offers an opportunity to find out what it is they do


want. Are there any gaps they are looking to fill in the coming months? What are they not getting pitched that they wish they were? Is there anything they need an extra pair of hands for?”


Keep the momentum going Menezes Cunningham says one of the best bits of advice she received when starting out in 2004 was that for each rejection, send two more pitches within 24 hours. She says that includes pitching again to any editor who


gives ‘even a smidgeon of encouragement’. Or you might re-angle the rejected idea for another title. “Action is a wonderful antidote to despair but stop trying to be a robot. You’re a human,” she says. “Your sensitivity is a wonderful thing and can make life more painful sometimes. Honour that. Find ways to be gentle, caring and tender with yourself when you feel wounded. You might want to put together a rejection bag or box with reading/music/ comforting fabrics and anything else you can draw on when you’re feeling down.” Ainge agrees that momentum is key.


For every rejection, send at least one other pitch. Success is often a numbers game. Patience is essential


She says: “This is really about interrupting an avoidance or


rumination pattern that we might have learned about avoiding situations where we might fail or be criticised. So taking immediate action interrupts that old avoidance pattern and teaches the brain that rejection is survivable.” Balavage Yardley, a former actor, whose latest novel Where the Light is Hottest offers a peep into the acting profession, is another fan of the ‘pitch again’ technique. “For every rejection, send at least one other pitch,” she


advises. “Success is often a numbers game. Patience is essential for a successful writing career. Distract yourself with something else or a new project.” You can turn pitching into a challenge. Ainge points out


this was once popular on TikTok as ‘rejection therapy’. She explains: “Rather than avoiding rejection, for example, set a goal to get rejected x amount of times. This works because the brain feels more motivated and less anxious when working toward opportunities – even if it is a rejection opportunity – rather than trying to avoid failure.” And tumbleweed? There are techniques to reframe this too. “Ghosting is so rubbish because the brain keeps replaying unfinished situations – the Zeigarnick effect,” says Ainge. “To break the loop, you can nudge or gift yourself psychological closure. For example, logging the pitch as a completed attempt after x amount of days, or setting a follow-up date so your mind can literally move on.” Harnessing a community can also be a powerful antidote. Harrap says: “At the Society of Freelance Journalists, we offer support and solidarity for the good times and the bad. For example, in addition to our Slack channel, we also run a weekly online coffee break. Come and join us.” Finally, keep going – you never know when you might suddenly get a ‘yes’ to a previously unanswered pitch. “My record is a year,” says Harrap. “And a friend of mine got a commission after two years. Never give up hope.”


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