LIVED EXPERIENCE
in hospital that would be unrecognisable now, since not only was I ill, but also in an oppressive, hostile, and confining environment.”
A different kind of building Katharine Lazenby was first admitted to the hospital in north London in 2005, and was back in and out of it until her last admission, in 2017. She said: “I was always admitted to the same hospital, apart from on one admission, to an inpatient unit in south London, which had a nicer environment. It was a quite different building, with lovely parquet floors, and on a beautiful site, with lovely grounds. There was more natural light and a better, although still fairly institutional, environment. There was less of a feeling of ‘us and them’; the staff were keener to work with the patients. There were quite a few newly qualified nurses too; a younger cohort, with a fresher approach. I sensed more compassion from the staff, and there was a considerably more equal gender balance. I think it benefits service-users having a mixture of sexes, ethnicities, and ages, among the staff in such a setting.”
Better, despite some ‘limitations’ Katharine Lazenby said of the rooms at the south London hospital: “They were pretty spacious, with a lot more natural light, due simply to the architecture.” The north London hospital, meanwhile, had originally been an infectious diseases hospital, and the ward buildings were all quite separated. Katharine Lazenby said: “I think it was only converted into a psychiatric hospital in the late 1980s. It wasn’t a terribly effective recuperative environment, was on a rather strange, waste ground site, and was quite dilapidated. You felt you were in the middle of nowhere. It had its own beauty, though; there was an amazing variety of trees in an arboretum in the grounds, planted in the 1920s by a gardener from Kew, who had brought lots of rare species.”
‘Time-limited’ walks At the north London facility, patients who had ‘progressed to this point’ could go out for a walk in the grounds, initially supervised by a nurse. She said: “Each walk was time- limited, and had to be via a set route, used every day. Although these walks become very important to me, there’s a limit to the inspiration you can find taking the same 15-minute route every day. Over the years, I completed a BA degree in Fine Art while in hospital, at The John Cass School of Art & Design in Aldgate.”
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Katharine Lazenby gave an impassioned conference presentation at last May’s DiMH event, and will speak again at this year’s conference in June.
She added: “I have done quite a bit of painting, but taking photographs is my passion, and creativity has been a massive way of helping me cope while in hospital. At the north London hospital, they had an amazing art therapist. I had done art since a child, and took Art ‘A’ level. In hospital I not only drew and made collages, but also took photographs during my walks – a great way of ‘finding something’ new each day, and pushing back against the hospital’s boundaries.”
Although I was on an adult ward, the images on the wall would be of Winnie-the-Pooh or flower fairies
Challenges of keeping occupied “There was quite a lot of time to just sit and think,” Katharine Lazenby explained, “although there were group and other timetabled activities. Apart from the art and photography, I listened to the radio, knitted, which I found relaxing, and watched films. There was, however, a general lack of care over, and a kind of blindness as to, what the environment was ‘communicating’. So, for example, although I was on an adult ward, the images on the wall would be of Winnie-the-Pooh or flower fairies. Even at my most unwell I looked at these and wondered why.” Returning to the same ward, ‘year after year’, nothing would change: “There would be the same pictures or modern art posters, faded by the sun.,” Katharine Lazenby said. “The bedrooms featured really dull, uninspiring pastel colours, with framed posters all peeling away, or where the image had slipped out of its frame, and nobody had put it back; it would be just the same three
years later.” The images would often be ‘really out of date’ or cheesy ‘biscuit tin images’ of, for example, galloping horses on a beach. The noticeboards tended to advertise activity groups that were no longer running. Katharine Lazenby said: “This showed a real lack of care. As a service-user seeing that, you can’t help but wonder how much care and attention they are going to devote to you? Did they genuinely consider this an environment that showed they respected us as adults? With Winnie-the-Pooh photos, it was infantilising the patients; almost reinforcing the perception that when mentally ill, you are somehow pathetic or weak.”
Better training needed I wondered whether Katharine Lazenby had ever felt that she and other patients were treated that way by staff. She said: “Sometimes we did feel patronised. There were lots of staff who were incredibly passionate, and who I had excellent conversations with, who were really doing their best. However, some needed more training in compassionate care and listening skills.” I wondered if she felt this had improved over the years. She said: “The skills of the nurses at the south London inpatient facility were certainly better, but then quite a lot of them were younger.” Having some privacy is something many service-users feel is vital, and I asked Katharine Lazenby about her experience here. She said: “It varied. You had your own single rooms and could close the door, but you’d be regularly checked on through the blind. There was little control over your environment, and you had to share bathrooms, although your room had its own sink. When I was really struggling, I would have no privacy, because you had one-to-one supervision, 24 hours- a-day, sometimes for weeks on end.” This, she admitted, was ‘incredibly hard... you couldn’t be yourself at all.’ She expanded: “It was really inhibiting... they would literally sit in your room doorway,
JANUARY 2020 | THE NETWORK
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