determines their behaviours, you may have also put energy into gender policing yourself throughout your life, likely unconsciously. If this is the case, you may experience an emo- tional reaction to the process of unlearning. Tat is normal and you can consider it part of letting go. It is possible that you may also experience grieving, as your life has likely been impacted by trying to meet gender ex- pectations. You may also experience guilt if you have participated in the gender policing of others. Please know that you are not at fault. It is what we were taught. Tese beliefs are so deeply ingrained within our culture, language, systems, media and structures, we couldn’t help but internalize it. Now is the time to unlearn. We can dismantle, we can rebuild, and we can do better. Te good news is that we have already


progressed so much. Alright, I know – we still have a long way to go to reach equality. Rates of partner violence against women re- main appallingly high. Women have poorer financial outcomes and higher burdens of unpaid work, and deep cultures of misog- yny persist within so many of our institu- tions. But it really wasn’t that long ago that it was believed that women couldn’t run marathons or were not permitted to vote or have bank accounts. Only a generation ago, women could only have certain credit cards with the permission of their husbands. Now these notions would be considered absurd by nearly everyone. Sexual orientation and gender identity are now protected against discrimination by law, but it was only in 1971 that the last person was released from imprisonment for the crime of homosexual acts in Canada. I state these examples be- cause they demonstrate that change is pos- sible, and it is happening around us all the time. Tere is much work to be done, but we can get there. We need to keep believing


we can achieve equality and to keep work- ing towards it. So, let’s get on with dismantling the gen-


der binary, shall we? But what is gender? We know gender is


a social construct, and that nearly all human behaviour is learned. Tis means that gender norms – that is, expected interests, values, behaviours, roles and presentation (clothes and appearance) – are created by society. Tey change over time and they differ be- tween societies. Gender is not the same as biological sex,


which can be female, male or various forms of intersex. One’s gender may match their sex or the gender they were assigned at birth (cisgender), or it may not (transgender). Some people deny these facts or try to hide them from children due to transphobia, but intersex people and trans people are real. Tey exist now and they have always existed. When I teach children about gender


identity, I compare gender to someone’s name. When you first meet someone and you don’t know what their name is yet, it isn’t wise to simply guess (“Hmm, you look like a Jordan.”) Regardless of their name, you will treat them with care and kindness and respect. You don’t know their gender either, but it is of little relevance because you will be treating them the same as you would anyone, with care and kindness and respect. Once you get to know them, you will likely learn their name and gender, because those are im- portant to that individual and they will prob- ably want you to know that part of who they are. When you learn someone’s name, you don’t make assumptions about other aspects of their identities based on their name. For example, you don’t assume that because you once knew a Kelsey who was really into dino- saurs that all Kelseys are also into dinosaurs. Similarly, you wouldn’t assume that all men


ELEMENTARY TEACHERS’ FEDERATION OF ONTARIO 33


“WHEN I TEACH CHILDREN ABOUT GENDER IDENTITY, I COMPARE GENDER TO SOMEONE’S NAME. WHEN YOU FIRST MEET SOMEONE AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THEIR NAME IS YET, IT ISN’T WISE TO SIMPLY GUESS (“HMM, YOU LOOK LIKE A JORDAN”). REGARDLESS OF THEIR NAME, YOU WILL TREAT THEM WITH CARE AND KINDNESS AND RESPECT.”


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