METROPOST DOMINIQUE GERALD M. CIMAFRANCA


VILLAGE IDIOT SAVANT


villageidiotsavant@hotmail.com


contortions and patchwork fixes to get to this point. Around April or May last year, my wife gave me my first haircut, then once again in August. We borrowed a set of electric clippers from my brother-in- law, then we fired up a tutorial on YouTube.


All in all, I thought she did a passable job, but after she accidentally gave our daughter a bowl cut, I could never get her to trim hair again.


one of three different tacks. The first strategy was to let it all grow out into luxuriant flowing locks. Unfortunately, it only works for younger men, trim of build, and without a


Generally, my friends took


haircut today. It was an expensive proposition, and not without its own risk (imagine that! for a haircut!) but all things considered, a worthwhile undertaking. At last, at long last, I don’t look like a neanderthal anymore. I t


A to o k ma ny


fter almost a year, I finally went to a proper barber, and got a proper


nascent bald spot on the crown; already I fail the test on all accounts. Besides, I had never been much for more than the basic hair care of shampoo and water.


shave it all off, and a tempting prospect it was. It must feel fresh and liberating, but...I have a big dent at the back of my head. As a baby, I was left in the crib too long without my


I’ll get around to it, when I’m a little less chicken. I wonder if I’ll look my grandpa, the late Donato Martinez. The final strategy was to cut your own hair. My brother- in-law had gotten quite good at this, and the few times we saw each other, the trim looked barbershop-decent. Aside from his own, he was also cutting the hair of his son and my Dad. How’s that for developing an alternative career?


I ordered my own set of electric clippers. From Shopee.


IAN ROSALES CASOCOT


TEMPEST IN A COFFEEMUG


ian.casocot@gmail.com W


becoming tourism officer of Dumaguete City in 2016, one of the initial projects she had in mind for her tenure seemed simple enough to carry out: make sure to update the City’s street signs and install them in places where they were missing.


It felt very much a part of any good tourism mandate. After all, how can one give a proper geographic guide to tourists in Dumaguete when street names are not readily available as convenient signposts to their exploration of the place?


Worse yet, the unavailability of proper street signs have created a native population that’s


also largely ignorant of their own geography, sometimes compelling them to create convenient but “unofficial” names to act as landmarks when they traverse the City. “Laguna,” for example, is really V. Aldecoa Drive. “By-Pass Road” is Gothong


Avenue.


No one knows that the “Rizal Boulevard” is really called Rizal Avenue.


No one knows that from the Welcome Area of the pier going northwards Rizal Avenue continues on as Flores Avenue, which ends at the corner of Lantaw.


It continues northwards to Bantayan as Escaño Drive [a new road], punctuating at the Silliman Beach. When the road turns west, running alongside Silliman Farm,


hen Jacqueline Veloso-Antonio took the challenge of


at the Silliman Ballfield. Continuing that is a road


locals call “Mango Avenue,” ending at Rovira—although officially it is Route 7. [A new name is in order!]


And in the enclaves of Daro surrounding its market, we have small streets like Ipil Street, Tindalo Street, Molave Street, and others. The road cutting across Claytown Subdivision connecting Veterans Avenue to Gen. Diego de la Viña Street, where Gabby’s B&B is, has no name. Google Maps say it is Filomeno Cimafranca Drive—but I’m not sure it’s official.


The main thoroughfare of Amigo Subdivision doesn’t seem to have any name. Why don’t we just officially call it Mary Davis Amigo Drive, after the subdivision’s founder,


an important pioneering businesswoman?


National Highway”] is officially Veterans Avenue. The rest of former Real Street, from PNB to the Bacong boundary [essentially also encompassing “South National Highway”] is Mayor Ramon T. Pastor Sr. Street. And because of the length of the National Highway, the nebulousness in the naming not withstanding, locals have taken to calling specific places within its range some special names—even if the inspiration for those names may no longer exist. There was “Sharlyn’s,” once upon a time, named after a sari-sari store that sold ice cream in front of Freedom Park—although no one uses this anymore. Still persisting is “Orchids” just a stone’s throw away. Also “Bricks,” and


A conundrum of streets and places


to just politicians for naming streets when we have two National Artists and two National Scientists? Let’s go for Edith Tiempo Street, Eddie Romero Street, Angel Alcala Street, and Clara Lim-Sylianco Street!


Henry Mack Drive. Meanwhile, the name of the


it becomes


beach from Lo-oc to the border in Bantayan is Piapi Beach, not “Escaño Beach.” Sometimes, locals are so used to hearing the sounds of street names, and not reading them as bona fide signs that they are surprised to know that it is “Luke Wright Street” and not “Look Right Street.” Sometimes there are streets we didn’t know have names. Jovenal V. Somoza Street is the road passing the ROTC Office


are holdouts from the past that persist to this day, still being used by people in their commutes, and by businesses in their addresses. People still say “Colon Street” when what they mean is Sen. Lorenzo G. Teves Street. “Legaspi Street” is really Bishop Epifanio Surban Street. And “Cervantes Street” is really Mayor Joe Pro Teves Street.


“Real Street,” the old name of the provincial highway that cuts Dumaguete into its western and eastern halves, is a street of ultimate confusion— perhaps owing to its sheer length. Officially, it’s just the National Highway, with both its ends giving specific nomenclature, hence, “South National Highway” and “North National Highway.” But actually, the stretch from PNB to the Sibulan boundary [essentially, “North


There are street names that And why are we sticking


nearby, the “Karate Club.” These are handy destination qualifiers all tricycle drivers know. Flag down a tricycle, and if you say, “Corner of Veterans Avenue and Aldecoa Drive,” you’ll get a driver scratching his head. Say, “Bricks,” and you’re off to go. There are also conundrums. What to make of the two Katada Streets in Dumaguete? One is the short length that begins at the Welcome Area and ends in Hibbard Avenue, Opena’s and The Rollin’ Pin along the stretch. The other is the narrow one that goes right along the painitan at the tianggue. And where does Hibbard Avenue end and Airport Road begin? I still think Hibbard Avenue ends at L. Rovira Drive, continuing on as Airport Road from that point on to the airport runway itself, encompassing the place we call “Golden Rule.” [And why “Golden Rule”? Because the owners of Golden Rule Store downtown—the Chuangs— has a house with a huge bodega in the area. Since there were not too many houses there back then, locals took to calling it “Golden Rule.”] And there is the mystery of San Jose Street. The “extension” of it westwards is


TO PAGE 8


head being turned. *Pihing!* Someday, maybe someday,


The next strategy was to


At just a little over P100, it seemed like such a steal. You can guess how that


Getting a haircut


month of pushing off the decision, suffering through the pain of dull clippers, and growing weight of a burgeoning moptop, I finally went to the barber at the mall. I hadn’t realized how expensive it had gotten: P330 now for a haircut! I suppose I could have gotten it cheap at the neighborhood salon, but I figured after a year, I could splurge a bit.


Besides, it felt safer. By now, they had adapted to the new exigencies: the dropcloth was paper, the barber wore a mask and face shield, and believe it or not, he managed to cut my hair without me ever taking off my own mask. As he cut my hair, I couldn’t help but think of all the little things we used to take for granted.


worked out. The first few trims were tolerable, but then my thick hair started to jam up the teeth. Afterwards, it felt like it was chopping and pulling, more than cutting. And so, month after


S BEN S. MALAYANG III my take


was Portuguese but planted the flag of another country, Spain, for it to rule us for over three centuries. (Apparently, he was only in


inulog brings to mind the famed navigator, Ferdinand Magellan. He


beniiim@icloud.com for dispute.)


it for the glory and the money.) He did one thing, however, that has been of lasting imprint to many Filipinos. He introduced Christianity. He brought with him sacred icons of the faith and gave one to the ruler of Cebu, Humabon. This is the Sto. Niño, a revered statuette of the Christ Child, whose Feast is celebrated in the annual Sinulog Festival of Cebu.


I have some musings about Magellan that I find amusing. They are based on (but are not entirely) documented history. They’re conjectures that could be true or not, but which to me are nothing but interesting possibilities.


Humabon was then engaged in what seemed a hostile conflict with Lapu- Lapu, the chieftain of Mactan, an island across a narrow channel from Cebu.


on why they were feuding, but it could be – and this is just my conjecture – perhaps over control and access to nearby fishing grounds. Fisheries would have been the main source of food and protein for people in both Cebu and Mactan and their physical proximity and fishing technologies that time suggest that their fishing grounds were likely accessible to both their fishers; hence, a powder keg


(I don’t recall any mention


Magellan chose to take sides. He took the side of Humabon, his host. Besides, the bigger Cebu was a far better prospect of political and economic returns for his investment on getting involved in the dispute. He might have also believed that Humabon’s realm was larger and so was a bigger audience for showing off his military might and had a larger population to awe, frighten, intimidate – and eventually dominate – with the modern European weapons he had.


Magellan might have been a great navigator, but I don’t know about being a military


tactician. Perhaps thinking that the bright rising sun would be at his back in an early morning attack, he chose to make his seaborne assault from the east side of Mactan.


battle gear of the time, wading in perhaps knee- to waist-deep water, trudging through sharp corals and mud, and making sure your musket does not get wet. Lapu-Lapu did not have to do anything but wait in the covers of the mangroves. And when Magellan and his attacking party exhaustedly struggled to shore, their battle gear already heavier after being soaked with water, Lapu-Lapu – well-rested as he and his defenders waited for Magellan to get to shore – easily struck them down with their “inferior native weapons”.


Magellan fell because he made two mistakes:


Magellan’s two mistakes


As its present features show, this side of the island happens to be where there’s a) a rather long stretch of inter- tidal flat that is dominated by coral cover farther from shore, and mud nearer the shore; and b) an extensive mangrove cover along its shoreline. Dictated by time and sun


position, Magellan might have attacked when the tide was receding, which seems to explain why his modern canons in his boats could not come close enough to shore to cover his landing party, and his landing party – him included – had to wade a long stretch of water toward shore. Imagine wearing the European leather and armor


GOLDA S. BENJAMIN


COFFEE & CONVERSATIONS


goldabenjamin@gmail.com O


n 30 June 1989, the University of the Philippines and the Department of National Defense entered into an agreement (the UP-DND Accord) to prohibit the military and the police from entering the campuses of UP and its regional units without prior notification to the UP administration. Of course, this agreement still allows them to enter pursuant to valid warrants of arrest and/or searches -- this, after all, is allowed by the Constitution and our laws.


Last week, UP received a letter from Delfin Lorenzana of the DND, informing UP President Danilo Concepcion that the DND was unilaterally terminating the agreement “in order for us to perform our legal mandate of protecting our youth against CPP/ NPA recruitment activities whose design and purpose is to destroy the democracy we have all fought for.”


The DND assured UP that they “do not intend to station military or police inside UP campuses nor do we wish to suppress activist groups, academic freedom, and freedom of expression.”


military or police inside UP campuses, will they be roaming around the campus instead?


Is the DND really after so-called CPP/NPA recruiters and supporters, or are they just after each and every student, teacher, or staff who express dissent for government policies? Is the DND not, in fact, after those who are simply exercising their duty to serve the nation while criticizing the government? This is a shocking but predictable move on the part of the DND, but it also


betrays how little they know -- or claim to know -- about what drives people “to the mountains”: It’s oppression and abuse, often on the poorest of the poor.


So what exactly will they do inside the campuses of UP that they cannot do now via a valid search and/or arrest warrant and through legitimate activities? If they won’t station


looking for CPP/NPA recruiters in areas where hacienda workers continue to miserably suffer from oppressive work in the hands of landlords wh o get away with anything because of power and/or wealth. They should look for them in factory zones where workers continue to be paid below the minimum wage, and are still not being given social protection benefits. They should go to places where extreme poverty is rampant because there, people are hungry, angry, and fed up.


The DND is better off They should work


with legitimate NGOs in those places so that the poor are treated fairly, and with the dignity they are promised by our laws and our government.


life in UP Diliman, and not once was I ever recruited by the CPP/NPA despite my own share of activism. In UP, we were not taught to take up arms and go to the mountains.


I spent eight years of my


We were taught to open our eyes, work hard, and serve the people. We were taught to challenge ideas that oppress the poor --


Universities are not battlefields


and many of the policies and principles of the CPP/ NPA are, in fact, anti-poor, preying simply on the anger and the vulnerability of the oppressed. We were taught to do the difficult thing of finding a way to contribute to the dismantling of the root causes of poverty and oppression through innovative means.


UP scientists, doctors, government officials, lawyers, and more who are working hard to serve this country. The DND has no business


That is why we have


First, says the renown Filipino economic historian and who was once President of the University of the Philippines, the Development Academy of the Philippines, and Minister of Education, Magellan got himself involved in a local political dispute. The second, to me, is that he didn’t bother to learn ecology. He might have learned great navigation, sailed across vast oceans, and had the world’s most modern weapons at that time, but he did not understand the underlying natural processes that create the changing features of our environment that local populations have long learned to use for their survival.


he died. What might Magellan tell


For these two mistakes,


us today? Perhaps this: Getting involved in local political disputes, and ignorance of ecology, could be lethal.


JANUARY 24 - JANUARY 30, 2021 OPINION 5


destroying the freedom that UP offers -- freedom to think, freedom to dream, freedom to genuinely be of service to the nation. Universities are not battlefields, and it’s not a place for people with guns and ill-motives.


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