Normal needs a revamp
Poet and author Joseph Coelho talks to Rob Mackinlay about growing up in a world where the realities of many people’s lives are not reflected and how there needs to be a change across society. The new normal should recognise that the differences we share are what brings us together.
“DESPITE the very different situations and environments that humans find themselves in, one thing is clear, there is far more that unites us than keeps us apart,” says Joseph Coelho, children’s author and poet. “When we hear each other’s stories with all their fantastic colour and individuality what always stands out is the myriad ways in which we are alike. So why do we cling to notions of normal? A ‘normal’ school, a ‘normal’ family, a ‘normal’ life! When the briefest moment of curiosity will reveal that we’re all so different and through that difference we discover that we are all the same?” Through his work Joseph has long believed in the power of sharing and honouring families in all their complex beauty, in doing so he hopes to bring us all closer together by including and celebrating us all.
“Growing up in a single parent family was often seen as a source of shame and embarrassment – having to explain to peers why your dad wasn’t around. As an adult I’ve done a lot of work in schools, I came across a stat that over 50 per cent of families are not a traditional set up. It shocked me because if that’s true, why are we constantly fed this ‘2.4 children’ idealised version? It drip feeds into our minds this idea of what is normal and acceptable.
“As a kid I had no opinion on it because it was just the norm. It’s so insidious because you don’t know what you don’t know. It took me becoming an adult to realise oh my god, I never saw myself
Autumn-Winter 2019
reflected in books, I never saw kids like me, never saw families like my own.”
Creativity
The break up of a family is a major theme in Overheard in a Tower Block (Otter- Barry Books) – Joseph’s second solo collection of poems. Looking back over all his work he says: “There seems to be an element of loss permeating a lot of my work, which was a surprise because I haven’t had a huge amount of death in my family. But there’s always been a sense of loss through having a parent absent. It took me a while to work out that’s what I was actually writing about.” Asked if, as a child, writing would have helped, he said: “I see from my work with kids that writing can really open up something in them. It enables them to express things that they can’t vocalise, gives them another form of expression which I benefited from when I started writing poems in my teens, the clichéd teen angsty poems, I definitely became more able to process my emotions and feelings,” he says, adding: “If there had been more books available that felt relevant to me then I’m sure I would have been more easily engaged earlier on.”
Underestimated
Despite knowing that seeing reflections of ourselves in our culture is valuable, Joseph says he underestimated it. “I mean it’s kind of ridiculous. We’re in 2019 and we’ve only just experienced the success of Black Panther. I didn’t go in thinking “this is going to make me emotional,” I love the Marvel films and I just thought
“let’s see how they do this”. And then just the emotional impact of seeing a bunch of actors and characters in heroic positions that I could identify with was huge, huge. And that’s as a grown man who thinks I’m above such things, I can’t imagine the impact that it must have on kids now. That made me realise how not seeing yourself reflected in society is incredibly damaging.”
New normal
Diverse representations of family structures may not be so rare any more. But plenty of issues that affect large swathes of the population are. “In publishing you have to justify your story. You have to explain/justify a world-view that shouldn’t need explaining because you’ve lived it and others have too. Like trying to explain the particulars of growing up in social housing; it’s seen as unbelievable when that’s just life for many people. If you’re cold calling an editor, or a publishing house or an agent with a story they can’t relate to, then that door is very likely to be closed.
“It’s a question of opening up, and empathy and access. It’s amazing to see Kerry Hudson’s Low Born doing so well. It’s a fantastic read. We often don’t hear those [working class] stories, they’ll be alien to a lot of the publishing industry and it would take someone with vision or who recognised the experience to come across and see their value.” Joseph thinks that empathy can be gained through education but adds, “it should be lived experience as well. There are people from all walks of life who could
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Joseph Coelho
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